Is this the reason it’s harder to get success with girls now?

I read an article recently written by a woman about young people’s dating experiences. In this article, she mentioned that it’s harder now for most young men (those who aren’t alpha males) to have success with women than it was in the past.

The reason, she said, is that pre-marital sex is now acceptable whereas in the past it wasn’t. In the past, a moderately eligible girl would be very unlikely to be able to get a VERY eligible guy to commit to her, and therefore if she wanted sex, she would have to settle for a guy on her own level.

Now, a moderately attractive girl CAN have sex with a very attractive guy, even if only for one night. With society no longer demanding commitment, a moderately attractive girl (or maybe even an unattractive girl) can spend her youth circulating from one very attractive guy to the next. And that is allegedly why it’s harder for most young men to have success with girls than ever before.

Do you agree?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • People overestimate how many very attractive guys have sex frequently with girls who aren't attractive. They have attractive girls who want to have sex with them. They don't waste time on unattractive girls. I' m not saying it NEVER happens, but that it's really exaggerated. A lot of articles play this concept up to sell something to angry, celibate young dudes.

    From what I've seen, there is promiscuity among many different social groups, not just the elite men sleeping with all the chicks. Generally, it's the same promiscuous people sleeping with other promiscuous people in their social circle, which is usually people around the same range of attractiveness.

    Also, speaking from experience and from knowing many men and women who slept around -- people don't ONLY fall in love with the most attractive partner they've been with. There's simply more to it when it comes to personal chemistry between people. It's like friendship -- you like some people better than others because you connect on more levels.

    I think one thing that's made it harder for some guys is that men and women have more companionate relationships now. It's not enough to just have a job. The same goes for a woman. It's not enough to be a good cook. People have more free time than ever before, so they're spending time together. Really getting along well wasn't as important in years past, because people didn't spend as much time together.

    It's well known that more guys have issues with communication/social interaction. These seem to be the guys that I see struggling the most in the dating world. I think this companionate type of romance makes it harder for people who aren't as good at socialization.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Not sure, I haven't really thought about that part, but what she says does make sense. Most girls aren't that keen on one night stands and when they do have one, it might as well be with someone really hot.

    I've never had casual sex, but if I had I'd care only about looks and I'd have very high standarts. For relationships it's different

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  • Well I think its ONE of MANY reasons. I do not agree its the main reason. A lot of other factors come into it. . I would say I am a pretty girl. Somewhere between hot and average. "pretty". So I understand the point this article is making. I probably have a lot of options more than an average girl and more than a hot girl. In fact I have too many options. Meaning I can be very flakey and yes probably makes it harder for men to have success with women because there are a lot of pretty girls and I think that is the girls that most young men go for. I mean most men want a girl who is better than the average girl but realistically cannot get a super hot girl or is too intimidated or insecure to be with one. Hence why everyone wants the "pretty girl". On top of that, I am told I have a great personality which means that REALLY attractive guys if they are sick of being with "whores' like being with me because they feel I am pretty enough to be with and my personality makes up for what I lack and even if they did not want a relationship with me, I am pretty enough to "fuck". So if I just wanted sex I do not have to settle for an average guy because HOT guys will be with me for even just one night. If I wanted a relationship well pretty much more options are unlimited. I have the personality to seduce a hot guy but if I feel insecure I can settle for average. So yes I understand what you are saying in this article. Why would I want to be with an average guy when I can have so much more. It is not about being shallow but why not have it all if you can.

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  • Maybe. But in a sense, on the flip side, it has ruined it for girls too. A lot of guys seem to only look for sex nowadays, and they won't commit to girls because they feel like sex is the most important thing, and everything else requires way too much effort. So many guys (especially a lot of virgins) feel like they HAVE to sleep around in order to feel accepted and "cool" or whatever, hence they lack interest in relationships.

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    • Oops, forgot to add the rest of my little "argument". This, in turn, makes women very vary and suspicious of guys. "Is he only using me for sex?" is something that goes through a lot of girls' minds, and I know a lot of girls who are too scared to date guys because they're afraid of being hurt and used.

    • great point

  • Sounds legit to be honest. Girls don't have to break their necks trying to get a guy to commit anymore.

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What Guys Said 7

  • It really depends.

    I think people forget how blindly feelings can develop from sex. Granted, I have had plenty of uncommitted sex and never heard back, but I have also had feelings for a girl where she didn't and the other way around. Take a girl's virginity and watch how crazy she can get if the guy doesn't fall for her. But yes, many other girls do have plenty of uncommitted sex and just go from guy to guy.

    I think this woman also forgets that while guys are visually motivated, just because a girl is not on the cover of a bikini magazine, doesn't mean she is not attractive. While there are some guys who refuse to settle for less than a 9(I hate number systems), many guys are perfectly content with a jeans and T shirt girl who is not wearing makeup and not showing off her body that the other girl thinks is a 6. Honestly, once a guy determines a girl is attractive, it doesn't matter "how attractive" she is. She's just attractive. So if a guy is OK with a 6, he'll date her.

    The irony with girls who say that "You should wait for the right guy" when it comes to sex is that I feel girls who do that cause guys to marry for all the wrong reasons. This is because much like how an employer can "hire with his dick," a guy can "marry with his dick" too.

    Plus there's so much more to relationships and marriages outside of sex itself. The reason I don't date much is because my area for example is because a lot of the girls just drink and do drugs. Those things don't have much to do with sex other than make me wonder if the ones who are broke are paying for their habits with sex. Plus I am in an area where people just don't seem to have much desire to move out and truly live. Most of the girls in my area just seem to try to find guys who own their own place so they can get out of their parents' house without truly earning their way through life.

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  • It's oversimplified, but has a lot of validity. Most girls are only interested in guys with money, even more so than In the past--they'd hang with their gay friend if they can't find Mr Bucks with an open evening.

    It used to be she would accept a regular guy, until Mr Bucks noticed her.

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  • Interesting theory/idea that I never even thought about. And yeah, like the other guy below me said - link?

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  • I believe the rise of technology is a huge factor

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  • Agreed 1000% women even the fat, nasty ugly ones get sex more then any guy can.

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  • Yes, and if she can get sex with a more attractive guy, even if it doesn't mean anything, her ego is inflated as a result and she thinks she can attract and win over more attractive men than she can.

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  • Could you link the article?

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