Is it too early..

My step dad died in February, thought he was in a coma for about a month before that. My mom has recently begun talking to men on online dating sites and is now planning on meeting one in real life. This new guys name RHYMES with my stepdads, and he is balding - just like my step dad was.

My mom keeps asking me if I think it is too early and stuff...I think it might be, she is like, replacing him..

But I don't want to get in the way of her life, I mean, if she wants to date then ...I don't think I should stop her...

Should I let her continue or tell her that I think she is rushing it?

Do you think she is getting back into the dating game too quickly?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well for one, some people rebound (horrible word to use I know, but its the best one I could think of to make my point) faster than others.

    It could be that the whole name thing and balding thing is a flute, or it could be that she really misses him (your step dad) and since he reminds her of him she wants to be with him.

    But, as far as if I think she's moving too fast, nobody can tell anyone if their moving too fast or slow. I'd say as long as she is comfortable with it and is completely over him, I'd say there's nothing wrong with it.

    I won't date someone until I'm COMPLETELY over the last person, so I don't bring baggage, so if all of that is in order than I see nothing wrong with her dating.

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    • Yeah, I'm hoping the rhyming thing and other similarities are flukes... I guess I will just have to go with it. And the whole no baggage thing = THANK YOU!!!!!!!

      I try to do that also =P

      Anyways, thanks for the answer =]

    • Your welcome. :)

What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 3

  • So sorry for your loss. But well, If she feels it's right, then I think she should move on. I can't tell if it's too soon, she's the only person that can tell you that. I'm amazed too by how calmly you're approaching this situation. I would probably freak out and be a little mad and confused inside. Maybe it's because I'd have a VERY hard time accepting the fact that my mom will begin dating somebody else than my dad. You should support her, no matter her decision. Tell her how you feel, but don't be negative about it. She's probably meeting him because maybe she needs some sort of help getting through this. Plus, you say he looks just like your stepdad so maybe he reminds her of him. Hope everything goes well (:

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    • Well it started out a little bit mad/confused but I guess I want her to have her own life too. I don't plan on sticking around my whole life in this house with her so she needs somebody.

      And, yeah, if it had been my real dad then I would be 100% not okay with it. But she was with my step dad for five years, and although I love[d] him with all my heart its just not the same.

    • Yes, that's a good point. I would probably feel the same way if it wasn't my real dad. But you said it yourself, you'll eventually leave the house and want someone to be with her. I say let her do it, just be aware that he treats her nicely and that she's comfortable with him. If he's alright, then I wouldn't see why she shouldn't date him.

  • First of all, I am so sorry for your loss... It really does sound like your mom still does need more time before she starts dating, but if she feels like taking another go at the dating thing, then let her. I know you are concerned about her, but let her give it a try, and see where that goes. She is probably feeling very alone right now, and she probably is still fragile, and so I think supporting her would be best. Maybe this will also provide some closure for her, also.

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    • Thanks =]

      Thats kind of what I have been doing, and I am pretty sure that this relationship isn't gonna amount to much anyway, I am just being all mother-hen-like I suppose. And your right about how she is probably feeling, I hadn't really thought of it.

    • No problem. It's understandable how you feel. Your mother must feel very proud to have you as her daughter. I myself am watchful over my own mother as well. And there is high possibility that that relationship won't go too far, but like I said, he could be a form of closure for her. Continue to look after her, and be there for her when she needs you. ^-^

  • I amazed at how mature you are. I'm over ten years older than you and I'll be honest it bugs me still when my mom dates. You mom is lucky to have a child who is so concerned about her well being. It might be a little early but she will be the best judge of that. Keep an eye on her and be there for her when she needs you.

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    • =D aww thank you.

      I make up for my apparent maturity in this type of thing by being completely random in everyday life.

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