Is this sinister behaviour? Guy problems. Help please.

So I met this guy on Saturday. He was in the year below me at school and he was out locally for his 19th birthday. It ended up that we played a game of pool together. And he was cuddling me and teasing me a little.

By the end of the night, he took my hand in the bar and said he's walk me home. So he did, and along the way we ended up kissing a good bit. Before he left he asked for my phone number, I don't have a phone so we've used Facebook to chat instead.

Anyway, he asked me to keep our kiss quiet because he wants to avoid an argument with her. I think he broke up with her kind recently (maybe a month or 2 ago, not sure). We've still talked on and off and he keeps asking me what I'm up to and usually let's me know he's 'bored' or 'chilling out'.

I just wonder if I should I take it offensively that he wants me to keep quiet? Why should his ex matter? I'm not sure if it's a good thing he wants me to keep our kiss down low.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Sweetie, from where I am standing, you should be more concerned about If he might still be seeing his ex. It sounds to me as though there is some hanky panky going on here "behind the scenes kiss," and this is his secret service pact with you as to why he wants your lips zipped.

    And being he and you are Now just talking on and off, making it light and not so sweet, is also telling me he would rather "sit home bored and chill out," than be with you on some Saturday night playing pool and------making out under the moonlight.

    This sinister smoocher is putting you on hold, and giving you the run around, while he is most likely still doing Facebook chats and ---probably more---with this so-called ex. Sure, he can tell you what he wants you to hear, on and off the cam, but my wise instincts are telling Me, that he is still "kissing and missing" her, while you sit home missing him and ----keeping quiet.

    Don't trust him. What you shared after the pool hall closed, was a "one night round of 'kissing a good bit'". Take my word for it, he is stringing you along and will only keep you at arms length on cam, so get used to the face to face facts. He is mostly likely still swapping spit with his hot lips ex.xx

    • He's definitely not, it's been a fresh break-up. He has been trying to meet me since Friday but I've been busy every time he's asked what I've been up to. He's a nice guy, so I don't get why he'd ask for my number etc only to string me along.

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    • More info update..Three years is a long time to be with someone, so not too easily forgotten..I think, she probably Is in touch with him, and they may be still seeing one another for reasons we don't know, or something else. I don't think he can move on until he settles the score with her. Communication and honesty are important in any newbie relationship, and he is obviously torn. If it gets any more intense, I would find another pool partner.xx

    • It is a long time. They might still be in touch and they may still be seeing each other, I don't know, but he told me they aren't and all I can do is take his word. Maybe he's still in the middle of settling the score with her, who knows. If things don't improve I'll definitely not be waiting around, thank you.

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What Guys Said 4

  • There's only really one reason why a guy would want to hide the fact that he's kissing a girl. That reason is that he's somehow ashamed of it.

    If you want to know for sure, and you can contact his ex, do it. If he's broken up with her, who gives a flying eff what she thinks? She's an ex. Her opinions don't matter. If he HASN'T broken up with her, he's lying to BOTH of you. Who cares what he thinks?

    • That's weird...because I wanted a guy to keep the fact we kissed quiet - not because I was ashamed - just because I knew it would cause trouble.

      I don't know or speak to his ex though. And he definitely has split with her, this is a small town so I definitely know they have.

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    • Well I don't know if it was a 'clean break' not many break-ups are to be honest. It's not that he can't handle it, it's that she can't. I get why you wouldn't wanna upset someone that you'e been close to for a while, it's understandable.

  • I think you should be asking him these questions. There's nothing wrong with these questions if his story is 100 and it's not abnormal for a girl to think this way or a guy if he was put in the safe position.

  • interesting adjective you chose.. but yeah, this guy should not be concerned about what his ex thinks... he should think DAMN this incredibly beautiful woman kissed me that's awesome :D

    • Yepp. He should, yeah, but unfortunately not all guys are as appreciative haha.

  • It's shady. There's no rational reason a guy would be worried about an ex girlfriend.

    • but I'd maybe be worried about my ex boyfriend if I thought he might get upset. I wouldn't want to hurt him. He'd still be a friend to me.

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    • My exact sediments, which I have been trying to get across here, thanks, Yadday..A man who wants to meet other girls and starts to find one he seems to be into, will leave the past behind and move forward with her, and Not link himself to some other supposed "forgotten relationship." I feel he may still be attached with her somehow at the hip, and won't tell anyone anything as long as this is the case..I know this type of "Mr. Nice Guy."

    • *Sentiments*

      Well he seems to be into me so far. It's been since Friday evening when I met him, can't expect him to go nuts all of a sudden and want to be in a relationship straight away, that's impulsive and silly. Perhaps he does have leftover feelings for her, but don't we all shortly after a break-up? can't just turn your feelings on and off like a tap. It's hardly a forgotten relationship...they just split after 3 years!

What Girls Said 1

  • It is pretty sinister, but you just never know what he has on his mind at the moment I guess. Maybe he just doesn't want her getting hurt. It's OK to still care about your ex and her feelings.