Should I break up with him? Am I expecting too much?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 1/2 months. Things are okay, not so bad. We don't see eachother very often because of our schedules. But it seems that even though we both are busy with work and school, I feel like I'm the only one really trying to set time aside for the both of us. His excuse is always: "Im so sorry babe, I've been so busy". I know he is, but I always believed that if you really cared about someone..you'd make time somehow. Sometimes when he'll call me he'll talk about hanging out with his buddies, but it makes me think..why not hang out with me? he does arrange for us to hang out, once a week, but it seems like a chore..?

We barely stay in contact when we are not together in person. Sometimes we go a whole day without any contact. He left for a family vacation to Mexico yesterday for a week and before he left he said he wants to Skype me (doesn't have his car)...he never arranged it. He said he'd call me before his flight - no call. He apologized for not calling, but yeah.

I know he leads a busy life. But I've talked to him about this and asked if he thinks his life is too busy for a relationship, and he said he doesn't think so. He also said he has so much feelings for me but doesn't know how to show it. Sometimes I even forget I have a boyfriend...


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Hmm...This sounds Just like an episode In my life, with a guy who I was with(actually still are, but long story)..Are they brothers?lol

    From my experience with this "busy beaver, no text, no time" tom, you have to play this race with these"horses of another color," or you will end up Never hearing Or seeing them.

    In my case, Jordan works 10-12 hours day as a manager of a convenience store, and nites to boot, so out time is very limited, but have managed to make it work, regardless of a few issues. He always suggests getting together, because it is coming out of his wallet, our weekend together, so I don't utter a word.

    However, if he gets a bit too confident that I am available too much for him, not a challenge, easy prey, then I find, this "Black Beauty"has to tighten his reins, and teach my stud a lesson.

    I Conveniently "disappear" for awhile, telling him I am-----out of town..---so out of His "blinder's eye view," and trophy wife touch, you might say. He Suddenly becomes nervous,stamping his hoof, texting More, sometimes neighing and---nagging. Then on top of everything, he gives me this Snorty, snotty nose attitude, as though I am the one who kicked him in the stomach. Now I am hearing the lecture of how I had better, from now, tell "your husband," he says, Where I am going, how long I will be gone, and when I will be galloping Back to him.. By now, he is real crazy and more babbly and bossy than I am usually used to seeing. But it works, so in essence I keep his "horse manure" from spreading too far. It feels so good to see how he likes riding in My saddle now. And if he's really naughty, No bare back riding either---not for three months.

    My motto with today's guys is: If you stoop for this, you'll stand for anything." Might I suggest before you put your horse out to pasture, try this little trick. Try the Houdini act, and give your stud a taste of his own mouthful of hay.xx

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What Guys Said 3

  • With your busy schedules a breakdown in communication can happen. I think you need to look him in the eye and ask what he expects out of your relationship. Let him know that the communication part is important to you. Are you both still in school or just one of you. Is sex involved? If so, that can sometimes complicate things.

    If you are in high school or just starting college perhaps give the relationship a time-out so you can get your priorities in order. There is plenty of time for a relationship when things are not so hectic.

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    • I'm still in school, he works like 3 jobs - comes home, and passes out. But somehow still finds time for his buddies? Well, they do live closer to him which I understand. I don't expect to be texting/calling 24/7, but I'd like for him to put more effort I guess? I've spoken to him about it too, and he admits he's not good at texting and apologizes even without me saying anything sometimes - which lets me know he knows its happening. I just feel like I have to distance myself for him to notice me

    • Show All
    • We haven't had sex yet.

    • Well no rush on the sex part...develop a friendship and make it work first. Hang in there!

  • 1 whole day without contact huh?

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  • "sometimes we go a whole day without any contact."

    Lord, that says it all right there. Clingy girlfriend alert!

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    • Ahhh, shit lol not how I really meant it.. so is it normal to not talk for days when in a relationship? sorry this is my first relationship so I don't know how it goes... (I'm 22)

    • lol still, it was pretty funny. And honestly--that probably depends on who you ask. Different couples have different styles. I wouldn't break a sweat if I hadn't heard from a girl in a day, but then again some might say I'm cold. It varies.

What Girls Said 2

  • No, if you feel your needs aren't being met, and he refuses to acknowledge them, or make the time for you, its OK to break up.

    You can break up with anyone for what ever reason you want. IT can be no reason, or a very stupid/shallow reason. But you don't have to continue dating someone when you really don't want to.

    Just make sure you find a new guy who understands that you will expect to see him, and interact with him, more than a few times a month.

    I dated a guy once while I was working 2 jobs, and he had three. We dated for 3 months, out of those three months I saw him about once or twice a month and talked to him about once a week. I asked him to at least attempt to interact with me 2-4 times a week. He never attempted to make me more of a priority. I didn't find it to be a fulfilling relationship and broke things off. Dating is pretty pointless if you never see the person. It wasn't completely his fault, but I felt that I had put more effort into trying to spend more time with him, than he did.

    Some people just don't have time for dating, if you feel that someone doesn't make enough time for you, its OK to leave the relationship.

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  • I mean, if you're OK with not being a priority than stay ? but this type of behavior would turn most people off.

    What's really in it for you? You have to feel bad when asking him to hang out lol? that's just.. dumb.

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