Is it possible for a guy to like a girl but not want to date her?

My crush and I are both kind of shy. He has done some things to make me think that he likes me, at least a little.

He is shy so the things he does are really subtle, but the way he smiles at me and remembers things about me and stares and looks away gives me a feeling that he might. He just always genuinely seems to care about what I'm saying and like sharing things with me about himself.

It could all be in my head but those things do seem to fit with how a shy guy would act around a girl he liked. He's different with me as well- I know for a fact he treats me differently than others.

A relationship between us isn't all that practical though because we will be in different states in a few months.

Is it possible that he has feelings for me but doesn't want to do anything with them?

Or if a guy likes a girl enough he will want to date her?


Most Helpful Guy

  • There is someone I work with who has an awesome personality, but she is engaged, and I'm just not physically attracted to her. I do just think of her as an awesome friend, and she is fine with me as well. It's nice because I know she's not interested in a relationship, because she's engaged, and we can get along as friends, not having to worry about the whole 'relationship thing'

    I have another friend that was introduced to me through my best friend. I see her really as just a friend, and I suppose she is attractive, I just don't see her that way, because she is more of a friend than anything.

    So yes, guys CAN be just friends with girls, however, things can also change. Good relationships should start as being friends (I think)


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What Guys Said 2

  • Funny, the most difficult couple to get together, who would be good if they could just get past that initial awkwardness, are the shy couple, when both are painfully shy. They can get to a point to talk and share personal things about themselves, are OK being around each other, but often have trouble taking a chance when expressing romantic feelings beyond that. Shy people often seem overly concerned with putting themselves out there and/or being hurt. This could be part of it and no shy person wants to be the one to make that first big move. Also, he may be concerned about getting too attached and involved if you guys will in fact, be far apart in the near future. That's a legitimate concern. If a long distance relationship is impractical for the two of you right now (I'm assuming that it is?), then why take the next step, even if you're both tempted? Think about the possibilities and discuss it with him if you think you might be on the same page here.

  • Yes he might have feelings for you, but doesn't want to pursue them cause you mentioned you will be in different states and he doesn't want the stress of a distant relationship, plus shy guys want the girl to make the first moves


What Girls Said 1

  • This is complicated for two shy people. Neither of you is likely to make "the move". He probably does like you though. Maybe you could tell him something like "I like you. You know that?" You're not asking to date him, but you are saying that it would be nice. Then see what his answer is. If he likes you too then ask him if he'd like to be with you.