Should I tell people I date that I have a baby son straight away?

I have a 6 month old gorgeous baby boy. He lives with his mum so I get to see him couple of times a month.

We have been separated for about 14 months and have no intention of getting back with her. But we are amicable because of our son.

I have started dating other people and there are two girls I think I really like, but I want to get to know them properly first. Just to clarify I haven't slept with any of them. I want to get to know them as I want to settle down with someone.

I have been on one date with both of them and I have made plans to see them again soon.

The first date were both brilliant

But I haven't told them about my son yet, my mindset I want to get to know them first and see what type of person they are..it normally takes about 2-3 dates whether you know it's going to have potential.

So I'm thinking of giving it a couple of dates then telling them? If it goes that far.

Or should I tell them next time I see them?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes I think you need to reveal this early on. And here is why. Imagine the dates go great, you get to know one really well, you think she is fantastic, she thinks you're fantastic. Then you tell her you've got a son. She isn't keen on the idea. Not only have you lost that time, but you will end up getting hurt. You need to find out straight away whether they will be OK with this.

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What Girls Said 2

  • He's a part of you , of course it's something that should be brought up in conversation.

    Especially right away.

    Some people may not want a man with a child or have to play that "mother role"

    it's better to be honest (straight to the point), rather than beat around the bush.

    There are a lot of single moms out there as well.

    So you never know she may have a kid also.

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    • "mother role" assuming if the relationship does make it through, she may have to form some type of relationship with that child. Of course that wouldn't happen off of the bat.

  • When you decide to move it on the next level and you want to commit to one of them. That would be the time of telling her. The reason I'm saying this is because from my point of view, if I am just dating a guy and have no feelings invested, I wouldn't like the idea that he has a kid. However, if I am really into him and invested in the relationship, I would accept the kid. You could also date single moms who are more tan likely to be understanding of your plight.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Telling them after 2 or 3 dates doesn't sound that bad. Why wait that long, though? You'd be wasting each others' time, really. These women may not be interested simply for that reason so I suggest you just let them know the next time you see them.

    You want to hear a really bad story? A woman once told me that she was set to marry a man she had been dating for two years; a few days before the wedding they had a family get together where she met his folks and they told her all about the two children that her fiancee had, and whom he had never told her about. She called the wedding off that day. TWO YEARS!

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  • Obviously it's an important part of your life that you should let them know about before anything gets serious, but I don't think it's such a big rush for the parent who doesn't have primary custody. I think the big concern people have with other people's kids is how much it will affect their time together, and if they get serious how it will affect them financially.

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