Internet dating - phone call first?

So I've started internet dating because I'm getting older and it's harder to meet new people.

My attitude has been, after about five or six e-mails back and forth, to ask for their number to talk on the phone. After talking on the phone once, ask them out on a date.

My friend and his girlfriend (who met online), seem to insist it's better to not talk on the phone first and just meet in person.

I'm thinking it's better to talk on the phone first to see if you have any connection just through conversation.

Any thoughts on the matter? Gals and guys?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Are you kidding me? Why would your friends say that! I've been on and off online dating for about three years now.. When I first started meeting people I never spoke with them on the phone.. however, NOW I realize that is such a waste of time.. especially for the guy because usually it's him paying for the date.. so I suggest a quick 5 to 10 minute phone convo to get a quick vibe.. and then see if you want to meet. I'm not suggesting a full hour convo.. that's not a good idea.. save that for face to face but you really can get a better read on someone by voice and hear the way they are..

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What Girls Said 5

  • Everyone has a different comfort zone so I'd have to say its a case by case basis on the individual you may meet.

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  • Hm, I don't know.

    For me, I don't really like phone conversations. It's just like texting, because you can't see the other person's facial expressions, but it's more awkward than texting. Somehow everytime I talk to someone on the phone, there's always those awkward silences or some words that are said awkwardly.

    So if we met on the dating site and you decided to call me first, you might think of me as weird and awkward and stiff, when in person, I'm so much more relaxed.

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  • I'm exactly in this situation now and I don't count how many times we email but if they actually write well and seem genuinely interested, not pwtverted or married and continues replying yes I either ask for their number or ask them to call me. I think talking by phone is more important than the emails because sometimes the sound if their voice turns you off or you see they are boring or playing games on the phone so why waste time meeting them. I've been talking to a guy from online 2-3 days now and we hit it off great on the phone, have sent selfies nothing face pucs only and all seems to fit well so now we are planning to meet. Who knows maybe in teal life he has bad breath it acts creepy but that's the point if meeting to get a sense of the person in 3D. Good luck.

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  • It is way better to talk on the phone first. I dont understand why people would tell you not to. I feel like you have to. You never know who the person is and the convo on the phone will sort of tell you what the person is like. Whether they are even worth pursuing a first date. Plus there is nothing wrong with talking on the phone. I would much rather talk on the phone first. I think you get my point.

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  • Talking on the phone first is nice and an ice breaker. I used to hate talking over the phone. Now I learned that I like talking on the phone to guys I actually like. So that's a good thing xD

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What Guys Said 1

  • I remember a phone call saving me from meeting an alcoholic pothead once. This girl got in touch with me and the 2 times I called her I swear she was drunk. One time because she brought up that she was drinking. She then proceeded to tell me how she had her kid because she was too lazy to take a morning after pill from being stoned the night before. So yea... why should I not talk on the phone and waste a car ride over to meet someone just to find this stuff out?

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