Is it OK to go on a date with a girl you don't like because you feel bad for her?

there is this girl that is overweight that likes me, I obviously feel flattered and I would never say something mean to her,

i was thinking in actually going out with her like friends, and treat her really nice because I know how it feels when someone you like doesn't give you the time of the day

but at the same time I don't want to give her bad hopes, I don't want to make her feel bad

what should I do?

Updates:
update: so I'm not going to go out with her because is like too much hope, so I decided to invite her to watch a movie at my place, what you guys think?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Watching a movie at your place could still be viewed as a date.

    Is it okay to go on a date out of pity? No.
    However, you could end up liking her as a friend, so you could always try to make sure she knows it's not a date and say that you still wouldn't mind just getting to know her as a person/friend. Otherwise she might get the wrong impression and will possibly wish she had never liked you at all.

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What Girls Said 11

  • Naw, it's not a good idea.

    By leading her on like that, you would just be giving her false hope. Her innocent crush on you would likely turn into REAL feelings, which is probably the last thing you want.

    It'd just be confusing for her, and an overall waste of both your times.

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  • noo don't do that haha

    honestly I wouldn't hang with her unless its with more people or you're very clear on where you guys stand

    the one on one hangouts will send mixed signals

    i get where you're coming from, its nice that you're thinking of her but don't do anyone any favors, they'll be fine on their own

    she deserves someone who really wants her and you deserve to spend your time on someone who you're really interested in

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    • so what's wrong with being friends

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    • .. she likes the idea cuz she probably has the wrong idea, that sounds like a date. flip the situation, what if a girl who u were into but was totally not into u asked u to come to her house and watch a movie. ud think that she wants u.
      again, im not saying its not ok. u can hang with her and do that, but add "hey real glad u decided to come its great to have a friend like u around" (key word friend)

      bottom line is be clear. i can't emphasize this enough :/

    • yeah i told her we can be friends, so no problem there, also i would never make a move on her, so no problem there either,

  • you're not doing her any favors. if you don't like her then don't date her. that's what the friend zone is for. would you want a girl doing that to you? no, you wouldn't want your time to be wasted and you wouldn't want to be dated out of pity? you know you're never going to really consider her as a romantic option so why bother?

    if she can't get the guys she wants then maybe she should think about losing weight.

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    • yeah I won't do the date thing anymore I'm just going to ask her to come over and just hang out

  • No, it's not OK. You would just be leading her on. Inviting her to be alone with you at your place is pretty offensive too if you already don't like her like that. That's worse then being in a group together! Grow up, seriously.

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    • how is it offensive?

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    • You're missing the point. Usually when a guy invites a girl over, and the girl isn't naive, she is going to assume you want to make a move on her. Because she likes you, she is going to think that you like her too. If you do, you wouldn't have to worry about hurting her feelings, but you will be leading her on since you don't. Words of advice, don't do anything out of guilt. You will just look like an ass because your intentions aren't sincere.

    • i won't make a move that's why is ok

  • You're obviously a decent human being. If she asks you out tell her you don't feel the same but would like to continue you being her friend. If she doesn't ask you out don't do anything.

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    • so how can I stll make her feel like a friend and spend time with her without giving her false hope?

  • no that's awful. she could develop feelings for you and get even more hurt.

    if you want to be friends with her, that's totally fine. just don't go and make it seem like you like her like that.

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    • so how can I stll make her feel like a friend and spend time with her without giving her false hope?

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    • well maybe you don't get that very often is because you're an ass that's embarrassed to be seen with someone, maybe because they're on the heavier side. life isn't all about looks you know.

    • i'm not embarrased to be seen with someone lighter

  • I think if you don t want to hurt her.you should tell her the truth.maybe this girl feel sad ,or she will more and more like you.at that time,it is

    More hurt for her.

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    • well the problem is that nothing has been spoken, she hasn't said she likes me, it is just like super obvious if you know what I mean. I know that because I'm super obvious too when I like someone

  • It's absolutely NOT okay. Just tell her the truth, and end it.

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  • movie at your place...that's a date you're also giving her the impression that might want to be intimate with her. don't do that, it's not ethical unless you like her.if you like her as a friend then treat her as one, pity is not OK. she will find someone else who likes her even if she is overweight.

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    • i watch movies with my friends at my house, that's what we do the most

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    • she quit going to the gym when he left the area... he was giving her false hopes

    • too bad for her

  • I think that's really nice actually :) About half of the people take it offensively, but half of people would understand and appreciate where you're coming from. Just to be safe, invite her to group gatherings only, but I don't think that's a bad thing. If she starts clamming up, acting resentful, or seems like she wants to confess her love to you, it might be good to catch her before she confesses and say how much you appreciate her friendship. Be supportive, and don't drop off the face of the earth when/if things get uncomfortable. Instead, if you can't take it, just tell her, "I really want to be friends with you, but I think it might be better for both of us if we spend a little less time together for awhile to let feelings settle a bit. Again, your friendship is very important to me! And even if you decide that you don't want to be friends anymore, I will always respect and admire you for your good character, creativity, and compassionate personality. (Lay it on thick if she's hurting to show that she didn't lose your respect, because this is how girls think when they confess feelings).

    Hope it goes well! 8/10 times though, girls almost always know when to back off. If she isn't, then still treat her with respect. Little injuries like that can last for a very long time.

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    • im just going to be friends, just hang out at my place and watch a movie or go somewhere far

  • that's nice,but you're just gonna give her false hope.

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    • so how can I stll make her feel like a friend and spend time with her without giving her false hope?

    • be a friend. tell her you're her friend,just casually say it. chances are-that's gonna hurt her. but that has to happen if you're not into her anyway. unrequited love sucks,but it isn't your fault and she'll get over it.

    • well the problem is that nothing has been spoken, she hasn't said she likes me, it is just like super obvious if you know what I mean. I know that because I'm super obvious too when I like someone

What Guys Said 2

  • I'd be honest with her. As ImCoasting said, it's not a good idea to give her false hope. I'd say it hurts more to learn after having some or in the worst case it might drag on for a long time. Tell her that you don't like her that way and that's that. If she doesn't want to be friends with you anymore, that's her choice, but I for one would rather have girl tell me straight to the face that she isn't interested in more than come to that conclusion after a while of being unsure about things.

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  • It's not a good idea to give her false hope, just remind her you only want to be her friends. It's cliche but the truth.

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