Should girls pursue a guy or let the guy pursue her?

i keep hearing different opinions about if a girl should be active or passive when it comes to a guy she likes... there's the saying guys like the chase, but i feel like i've talked to and heard quite a few guys say they like it when girls take the initiative. if a guy is generally indecisive how do you know how assertive to be without being aggressive?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Some guys like the chase - but not all. And even if the guy does like the chase, it shouldn't matter if the girl pursues him for a change, if he likes the girl as well.

    If that sort of thing puts him off, then he likes the chase more than the girl. And guys like that, when they catch a girl, get bored easily. Because the chase is over.

    The flip side is that some girls are overly passive and worse, crush on a guy who has no idea she exists or is too shy to make a move. Tie that together with the idea that so many girls have zero idea how to signal their interest in a way that the average guy will notice... and you have a recipe for disaster.

    Girls should not be afraid to make a move if they want something - but most of them are afraid. Afraid of being judged, afraid of being too obvious, afraid of looking desperate.

    Truthfully, girls who can conquer their fears are pretty attractive.

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What Guys Said 6

  • Only players like the chase. So if you feel like getting played, by all means. If the guy likes the girl, he should initiate and if the girl likes the guy, she should initiate. Simple as that. No games, no bullshit. Girls who are so adamant about guys making the first move are too insecure for dating.

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  • "Yes, in the animal world almost all species have a male initiated courtship. But not all - for example with the South African clawed frog it is often the female who calls out that her eggs are ready and sings a duet with the male to draw him to her.

    Given that (most) humans are an order of magnitude more intelligent than any frog, I think we can - if we concentrate - move beyond the male initiated courtship tradition to a more equal and less patronising dating culture."

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  • You will always get more by doing more than the next person. So, while it may not be the most pride inducing thing to make the first move with a guy you increase the odds greatly based on the fact that most girls are scared/ashamed to do it so he probably never has girls making moves on him. Even as I've started on hitting girls more face to face, I've noticed I get a long way just by the fact that many guys can't do it sober.

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  • Women have worked many years to become treated equally. So either or.

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  • Nerd Guys are afraid to ask. Jock Boys ask first. Should Girl Pursue? is too open a question. Sorry. :(

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  • Yes there are no rules. If you like the guy go for it, and make your intentions known.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I pursue guys all of the time. I do It at school , I do it in clubs , and at parties. In order to get what you want in life you have to be a go getter. I am direct, I don't beat around the bush and that is hotter than sitting around waiting for prince charming

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  • well first off guys liking the chase don't necessarily like the girl or want a relationship. if a guy likes you, he'll like that you make an effort. in addition. you should be able to feel good about being proactive, not feel bad b-c some guy out there, might not like it. in my opinion,. pride first. love second. if he can't respect you, then he doesn't deserve your love. why should you accommodate yourself for a person you barely know, when you're not causing any harm and are actually being helpful to both of you by making an effort.

    as faras being indecisive? what do you mean by this. what has actually happened.

    if you directly ask him out and he won't respond directly, you've already made the effort, so the next move is his.

    if you mean something else by indecisive, then please explain:)

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  • For me, I have the guy introduce himself and if I get fed up with the flirting and he makes no more advances I will initiate it a step further while still keeping the ball in his court where he can make the next move if he'd like.

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  • Let the guy pursue me. If he wants someone bad enough he'll come over and talk to her.

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  • if a guy is indecisive, it is best to move on, guys are decisive when they really want it

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