Does online dating actually work? If so what sites are good to use and does it work for shy people?

Pretty much I am a shy guy and I don't think I can meet a girl the traditional way. I have been told that online dating might be good for me but I have reservations about using it.

Updates:
Sounds like mostly negative answers.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Well, statistically, I believe marriages that started through online dating tend to last longer.

    I think it's likely to work if you go in knowing what you want, while being realistic.

    But everyone is trying to market themselves off as worthy of dating, so you have to know when something sounds 'too good to be true' and see red flags.

    I'd probably stick to reputable sites as well...

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What Girls Said 11

  • It has worked for a lot of people, some I know are serious or married. I've tried it, and while I I'm now with someone I met through friends instead, online dating was a mostly positive experience.

    Don't expect instant results or anything. It's still dating and it does present trial-and-error situations. Plus, like in "real life", you will meet some annoying/rude/mean/odd people, but then again you'll also have opened up your dating pool to some great potential partners. There are different sites out there, and some are even tailored to your interests/background so it makes things easier in the compatibility department.

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  • When I was in my early 20's I met some amazing people online but also some crazies. A guy who tried to rape me - another guy who lied and told his friends I was a prostitute cause I didn't return his phone call within 60 minutes etc... The good guys that I met included people tall, handsome, fit, rich and respectful who had everything going for them but still gave me the time of day.

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  • I met my bf online, POF to be exact. Took me about a month to sort through all the wierdos and find a real, decent guy. And I don't like that all these guys are saying we will only talk to the guys if they look like a model. Not true at all. Yeah, obviously I will need to think you're somewhat attractive, but if you look like a model on an online dating site I will most likely not talk to you because I will think its fake. I would just look for a decent person that had similar tastes that I do. Simple as that.

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    • The guys who have trouble with online dating are probably the weirdo's, the guys who ask to get their dick sucked, the guys that don't read profiles, or the guys who send messages like "hi". And they expect women to talk to them. In other words, the guys who have no social skills in real life or on the internet.

    • So if I am a bit award I'm in trouble

    • All I can say is to just be yourself. SOmeone will like you for who you are. Don't just say "hi" but also don't tell the person your life story in one message. Either are too little/too much. If girls don't message you back right away don't give up, I think you will find someone who wants the same things you do. And remember to be completely honest about everything.

  • It works but the problem with is it that you can never know if these people are real or not. It's not like being set up by a friend or meeting at school. You have no idea who these people are. It can work I'm sure, but you need to be cautious and not get discouraged if you have a few bad dates. You just have to sort through the weirdos and find that nice, real person. That can take a lot of time.

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  • I've met 11 diff men from online sites over the past 5 years, a couple of them turned into an actual relationship that lasted a few months for other reasons, and the some of the other guys were just too different or weird, and one of them resulted into a great friendship.. My tip to you is make sure you talk and chat for a good 2 months before you meet in person, sometimes people lie about who they are.. also try to do face-time just so you can make sure they you are talking to the person they say they are :)

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  • My sister actually met her husband on eharmony. com Though it took some while she went on a few date not all good ones. And she met the love of her life. Some people do lie about who they are and stuff but I think you can meet a creepy person or a liar any wear. You are more at risk online. So if you do decide to do it use caution.

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  • A lot of relationships are starting online now. It's time consuming but you can certainly meet someone that way. I would recommend OKCupid because it's free. Not so much that you don't have to pay for it, but it just seems weird to be going out with people who paid a monthly fee to meet you.

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  • For some people it does

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  • It could work if you find a real and honest person and you're the same.

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    • What sites are good and hw can I fix such a girl.

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    • So it just happened by chance or you?

    • It just happened by chance, never really my intention to find that special someone, I was just there to talk to people.

  • Many guys on online dating sites just look for "f#ck buddies", unfortunately.

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  • Its dangerous i wouldnt recommend it

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What Guys Said 18

  • Online dating is a total waste of time, the women get so much attention it completely distorts their reality, even the nastiest hambeast's think they are gods gift to mankind. It also takes a great deal more effort in my opinion, meeting them in person is so much easier. Just stop giving a fuck what women think, if you want her to suck your dick, for example, just ask her to do it. You will offend lots of them but so what you will also be surprised just how often they will say yes.

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  • My wife and I met on PlentyOfFish. We had our first date 8 years ago and we've been married for 6-1/2 years.

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  • Here in Helsinki Finland, in several years I have only gotten one girl that I liked out on a date. That didn't work out well for me cuz I didn't fit her agenda. People online here are just there for their self esteem boost. Its a complete waste of time.

    The most dates I ever got was from networking, going to clubs and other social events, getting to know people. Sure all the girls on the profiles claim to be angels, own manners etch, yet they dont even have the human decency to respond like this: thank you, but for some reason i didn't find the same spark in you but do wish you the best.

    So go out there, make new friends and that way you will find people. Somewhere along the line you will find the potential ones for more.

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  • I don't like the more "formal" online dating sites like OKCupid. Seems like too much work.

    Tinder has been very good for me though because while I am above average in looks, I don't have the most experience approaching girls in real life. What I've found is that Tinder has actually helped my self-confidence to the point where I am becoming quite comfortable just talking to girls I don't know, whether they are in the library or cafe or wherever.

    I don't think Tinder can lead to any serious relationships because you're really just going off of looks, but if you're young and single, it's a great way to just see what's out there and improve your "game."

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  • It works as a secondary dating source... I've met a few girls on OK Cupid (abbreviated as OKC in the cyber world).

    The key is that you have to send out a lot of messages, and u have to send messages that show evidence that you actually read her profile.

    The ratio of messages sent / received is quite awful... less than 1 in 10 reply back for me.

    --

    But then again, statistically, the black male demographic fare one of the worst of all gender/race combinations on mainstream dating sites like OKC and Zoosk.

    PLUS im considered average looking by most women overall, so I'm no stud either. lol

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  • I currently have seven wives and I met them all on the Plenty of Fish dating site.

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  • In my experience, it hasn't worked. The girls never respond and there are seemingly 5 guys for every girl so your odds of getting anywhere are slim. I've recently tried OK Cupid and the only interest I am shown are from the gays. I can't even get girls to respond to simple greetings. Every person's profile shows whether they respond often or not at all to messages and I've never seen a girl listed as being responsive. I'd say try in the real world. People are still too paranoid and insecure about online dating.

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  • I've only ever gone out with two people I met online. The girl I met on Christian Mingle was very nice, and I was sad it didn't work out with her. The girl I met on eharmony was nice, but I didn't really feel a connection. I've had better experiences dating the people I met in person, for the most part.

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  • I hate to break it to you but all the online dating sites I use turned up empty. Meaning they were unsuccessful searches. Well the reason is because of competition and a lot of women on all the online dating sites don't want relationships or so I've been told and kind of found out on my on. Until actually have some success as far as online dating is concerned I will continue to avoid it mor often and be pessimistic.

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  • I've tried it and believe their all scams and shallow people especially the women and girls on them. I've done profiles where I've shown my real pic get no responses, but anytime I used a pic of a good looking guy its oh your cute wanna hang out sometime? Women are shallow plain and simple. My cousin is a good example every BF she's had so far all look like Hollister models I've asked her if we weren't related and I asked you out? Would you say yes? She said no so of course I asked why its because I'm too ugly? Her response no its because we're related remember I asked her If we were not related.

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  • I met my fiance from craigslist. Dating sites work. Just remember there are 20 guys hitting on every girl. The girls can be overwhelmed by creeps on those sites so that's why I think women are more cautious

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  • My uncle met his wife on match. com and they have been married for 5 years now. They are like two peas in a pod

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  • I have a profile on POF and OKcupid and I've really only seen activity on POF.. I know at least one girl sent I want to meet you but I never responded because I don't know if it's true or not.

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  • Your mileage may vary. You get out of it what you put into it. Also, luck.

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  • it only works if you're good looking.

    i tried pof, and most of the bitches i initiate a conversation with NEVER respond back.

    I try being honest with them. Is a person's honesty worth that little nowadays?

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  • I joined Tinder in December , and I have gone on 15-20 first dates since the first of the year. I'm an average guy, and I've been pleasantly surprised with the quality of women that I've met. I don't know if it works as well if you live in a small city, but I live near a college town.

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    • That is for hooking up though right?

    • I thought that too at first, but most of the girls that I've met are looking for something more than just a hookup. With that being said, if you use it on Friday or Saturday night, you'll find more people that are just looking to get laid. But, two of my friends are actually in relationships with girls they've met on Tinder, and I don't think I'm too far away from being in one myself. You may as well give it a shot. What's the worst that could happen?

    • I guess I know the worst that can happen lol

  • Online dating CAN work, but most people I know who have tried it have not had any success from it. Either the person isn't even who they say they are/are lying to them, end up being abusive, etc., etc.

    I'm shy, too. Very much so. Still, like I did, you can meet a girl the regular way. There are girls like you and there are girls who actually like shy people. Don't give up.

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    • Could you please tell me how you did it, I'm really unsure what I need to do meet the right person for me.

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    • Could always try to let your inner geek lead you to happiness. Some girls love nerds/love Doctor Who.

    • That Is true :)

  • Do you look like a model? If the answer is no, then you're going to have a very hard time as a straight man online. You'll be competing with all the regular guys plus all the shy guys who can't apporach girls in real life. Also, almost all of the women online are there, at least partially because they're just too picky.

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    • That's my experience as well. I can't even get average-looking girls to respond to a greeting. The only interest I get are from gays.

    • This the damn truth. Sorry ladies but please just admit your all shallow looking for Mr Perfect, & to Agrojag LOL at least you get interest even if it is from gay guys I don't get nothing.

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