How patient do I need to be with a very shy guy? When do I need to just give up?

My friends think I am crazy to be so patient with a shy guy. I just honestly think he is worth the wait because he has awesome qualities about him that I like.

We have hung out 4 times and made out 3 out of the 4 times. I said once when we were kissing that I really like kissing him then he got a huge smile on his face and said well good. He is not much of a phone person so it's hard to read into what he is thinking. We hung out for the first time at the end of January. We text a little bit each week but he is just very quiet. I asked him the last time we hung out if I annoy him when I text him. (I only text twice a week, I don't want to over do it plus I have a life as well.) He said he doesn't mind at all but it's just that he doesn't have much to talk about.

I've had numerous other guys ask me on dates/to hang out but I have turned them down. I just am into this guy and want to give him a fair chance. The shy guy approached me in the bar to start things off. (We knew each other in the past and hung out a few times years ago but he was too shy to make a move. So I did this time.)

He told his friends that he was talking to me and I have a hunch that he mentioned me to his Dad. This weekend I asked him to hang out but he said that this weekend was not going to work because he had family things to help with and listed a whole list of items he needs to do. He is super close with his family. I just don't know at what point he will start initiating more things. Or if that was a brush off. We had a really good date night the prior weekend.

I am certainly not desperate, I could go on other dates but am choosing not to right now. I really want him and only him but don't know what I should write it off as he is not interested. Please help. What do I do now?

Shy guys please give me hope here or something!

  • He is just very shy - be patient
    83% (20)100% (35)93% (55)Vote
  • Give up on him
    17% (4)0% (0)7% (4)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
One of my really good guy friends who knows of the shy guy (they went to the same school together way back when) thinks I shouldn't give up. My friend says he is just THAT shy. This guy is 27 years old and never had a girlfriend before.
I should also add that I am an introvert as well. I used to be really shy in high school but as I got older I started to get over it some. I'm not exactly the most outgoing person either but I feel like i can relate to him.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Sweetie, so far from what I am reading, you are making Great head waves with the "shy guy," and I commend you. For everything you have accomplished with this fish out of water sort of guppy guy, you have certainly come a long ways. Keep up the good work.
    As long as you are not pushy, Nor too forward with anything, he will most likely stick around. And with More togetherness, more communication, this may even end up a perfect partnership in the future.
    If this 27 year old guy is who you want, who you have the best chemistry with, then nurture your relationship. And being you Are his first girl, makes this even more special for him. Feel honored.
    No, I don't feel he was blowing you off at all by telling you of his sincere other plans to help his dad. He most likely Is very family oriented, and just would like to divide up his time between you and---his other school of "family fish."
    I don't see anything here showing me he is Not into you, and absolutely do Not, "write off" the shy guy. True, as you already know, there Are other fish in the sea, but with a little patience and understanding and effort on your part, you just might have the------Catch of the day.
    Good luck. xx

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    • Thank you for your advice :-) Exactly what do you mean by do not be pushy? I worry about me asking him to hang out when I'm home most weekends might be too much. The last thing I want to do is scare him off.

    • I use this word "pushy" with any guy today, shy or not, so they don't feel you are expecting too much, or they get scared from anything they feel they may want t, or to handle. So far you are playing your cards right.. Keep up the good work. xx

What Guys Said 18

  • I'm not shy, however I'm very quiet. There is a difference between the two, and I suggest you google it and read up on it a little bit, he sounds like an introvert.

    I used to chase women all the time, however, it eventually becomes tiresome and in some cases frustrating, so I stopped for a while and focused on other things like setting up my own business, hobbies etc. That was when I met my girlfriend, she approached me, and she said that I was very "mysterious", that I held my cards close to my chest and that she couldn't figure me out. She said that she hated the feeling of having to prove herself to me and having to initiate things.

    Yet this is what most guys have to do when they go after women. Wecome to a man's world lol...

    Anyway, it's just a case of getting to know him better until he's more comfortable with you. If you want him you're just going to have to keep on doing what you're doing. Further down the line you can tell him that you'd like it if he'd initiate some things. He probably doesn't even know how to if he's never had a girlfriend, show him the way.

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    • I believe he is a shy introvert which makes it even more difficult. I am the same however, I am a bit more outgoing than him. How will I ever know how serious he is about me? I don't want him to keep saying yes to hanging out just because he is too nice to say no or something dumb. That is my biggest fear.

    • If he didn't like you he'd probably keep making excuses not to meet you. If he's told his friends, his Dad, and he had a huge smile on his face when you kissed him, I'm sure he's interested.

  • I would wait for him. :)
    If you guys kissed 3/4 times you saw each other I'd say he's really into you he just doesn't exactly know how to handle the situation very well.

    I think that I used to be like him years back and I only wish that I found a girl like that so that she would have given me the chance to work my courage and go forward with everything.

    I'd say if you think that he's not moving fast enough for you do what you did take initiative but make him feel like he's the one taking the initiative. That will bring up his confidence and he'll then really take charge.

    A really good friend (really successful painter/sculptor/philosopher) of mine once said the right woman for a man is the one that takes charge and makes everything happen like she want's it to but at the same time makes her man think he's the one in charge so everyone is happy. Us guys are not that complicated. :)

    The girl I'm... I don't know... I guess starting to date... is this way. I always feel like I'm the guy who went for her and wanted to get her and wore her down and succeeded. But if I think about it. She liked me... let me chase her... kept me interested but still at armed length and then let me chase her some more before letting me finally near. But I don't really mind because I feel like the guy that succeeded where nobody else could and it's really great. :)

    So good luck with your guy. :)

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    • I truly think he just sucks with phone things. He doesn't appear to be much of a phone person. In person he seems to do a lot better. The only downfall is I don't see him during the week so it makes it difficult. Your advice is really good and makes a lot of sense. I just hope I don't scare him away or come off desperate asking him to do things with me like hang out on the weekend. If I do come off as desperate I doubt anyone would know but him since he

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    • Well I tried texting him last night to see what he was up to (like I do every Thursday night) but this time he didn't respond. Either he was busy or avoiding me because he probably knew I would ask him to hang out this weekend. I don't know... I'm so close to giving up now. If he doesn't text back to that message today or anytime this weekend then what do I do? I feel like he should at least be straightforward with me on what he is thinking.

    • Well I don't know people are just weird I guess. I have a girl that I'm into and she's into me. Recently she told me she wants to be with me and then two days later she started acting weird like the complete other way.
      So I guess you have to be patient with him because I guess he's going trough something.
      That's what I'm going to do.

  • He's shy. I used to be that shy, but have started to break me shell. The problem with most shy guys is they know they like this girl, but like me, are too afraid to take a chance. On the other side the girl is being frustrated thinking whether or not he's into her or not and this drives women crazy - or so I believe at the very least.

    In the end you have to decide if you're willing to put yourself in a more vulnerable situation and just straight up tell him you like him. If you do this you will have given him indisputable evidence for him to conclude you like him. Trust me, this is coming from a shy guy.

    The unusual thing is that you said you guys dated and made out a couple of times. For me that would be enough evidence to make a move on you as I'd clearly see the attraction is mutual. Still, the counter factual is the guy who went to the same high school has informed you he is "that shy" which might suggest he also has low self confidence (not esteem, big difference) leading him to irrationalyl conclude "she's not that in to me for reasons X, Y, and Z" when she's practically throwing herself at him.

    In the end it's up to your prerogative to determine "how shy" he is. If he's that shy you actually have much more influence on him.

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    • If he's that shy I have much more influence on him? How so, or what do you mean by that? Sometimes in texting conversations he will keep the conversation only about him and won't ask much about me. In person it is different he lets me talk and listens. Why would this be? You are exactly correct on the girl getting frustrated. I'm willing to put myself out there because what do I have to lose? He isn't going to go tell a bunch of people that I

    • did put myself out there since he is quiet and keeps to himself. My plan is to see if he wants to do anything this weekend. If not, then I will try one last time the following weekend. 3 strikes and you're out. I think that is being more than patient with him. I wish I could read his mind because life would be so much easier then.

  • I didn't vote because I would do something different.

    I would tell him to his face that you're not sure where this is going and that you need him to man up- to take you out and start acting like a boyfriend. If that's not what he wants (because you feel like you're getting mixed signals) then you'll have to move on.

    Hopefully that kick starts his courage or impetus to act like a man around you. You're telling him what you need from him.

    The second alternative is to just keep doing what you're doing... but fuck that! lol This dude needs to accelerate and he needs to know that. Besides, my way is more fun. Plus it'll help him grow out of his shell.

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  • Opposites attract, so if you have the energy to keep stoking this fire, remember you will be the fire tender the remainder of this relationship - it becomes your role, so can't get tired of it.

    My goal would be to get to the bottom of it.
    Is he so spoiled he doesn't have to lift a finger to get something he needs?
    Has he been so abused by women past that it's just not worth extending his hand again just to see it whipped?
    Is he gay?
    Is he anti- or a-social?
    Does he prefer the simple self satisfaction of uncomplicated masturbation?
    Does nothing turn him on, e. g. cars, guns, dance, sports, computers, what? You'll need to adopt some of these favorites... if any!

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  • Reading this for a second I thought this was my future girlfriend talking about me and somehow this question got sent to the past... Just kidding

    So... "... We have hung out 4 times and made out 3 out of the 4 times..."

    My God you make that sound like nothing. I am 31 and never had a girlfriend. I would give my right arm to be kissing the woman of my dreams 1 out of 4 times on a date, heck I would give both my legs and right arm to just hang out alone with a beautiful woman that liked me for 5 minutes.

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    • So you are saying that he would be super happy we have made out that many times? He seems all nervous prior to but not in a horrible way. He is just so hard to read since he doesn't tell me how he is feeling whatsoever.

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    • Now I'm questioning everything. I text him last night and got no response. I sent one message and normally he is fairly quick to respond so I don't know what this means. I don't think I should text anymore but it sucks playing the waiting game. I was hoping to see him this weekend but I don't want to be pushy. Did I make him feel uncomfortable somehow do you think or what is going on? Why would he just not respond.. this isn't like him to ignore it.

    • Don't worry so much, it could be a dead cell phone battery for all you know. He could have been asleep when you called him after a hard days work, you never know.

  • I disagree with both options A and B.

    Don't give up on him.

    Don't be patient.

    Take initiative yourself. You like him, move things along.

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    • How exactly do I do that? I guess a good start would probably be to ask him to do something this coming weekend, correct? Then from there do you mean to take things to the next level other than just kissing? How can I get him to be more comfortable around me. I try to share personal things about myself when we are together in hopes he will share something about him.

  • I voted A. What you could do, is tell him, and keep telling him, that you really really love him as he is: shy and quiet.
    Just this feeling may help him relax a bit. He probably won't open up to everyone, but he may open up to you. Cuddle him untill he does :-)

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  • Lol im 20 and nvr a gf either cuz im shy. U should not give it. U should be the one to take the lead if u are getting at a shy person. Shy people doesn't have the guts to do it cuz they are afraid of fear of rejection. U had to take the lead here on out and dont expect a ahy person to initiate. That is why we are shy.

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  • I myself am a shy guy, many women give up on me. bottom line is, I been rejected so many times in my life, I won't make a move anymore unless I know for a FACT the girl want me. flirting is NOT confirmation she wants me. in an age where I see in the news women suing men for sexual harassment just for saying hello, I dont even approach women anymore. if she wants me, or is interested, she needs to step it up and ask me out.

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    • What if she is also shy? Could lose out on the right one for you with this attitude as I am also in your age range and shy and will never ask a man out because in my generation the men do it. Good luck. And I seriously hope you are not the guy I am crushing on, cause how sad to know we will never be if you are.

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    • SeraphenaAngel...,

      OH!!! You make a point.

    • I don't have a problem with approaching, but it always makes me laugh when women who daren't approach guys criticise men who daren't approach them. You're wrong for not doing whatthey don't want to do themselves, lol...

  • You have to bait him. He's complacent in his shell and if you want that to change, you unfortunately have to make yet another move.

    Ask him what he hopes will come out of this.

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    • By another move what exactly do you mean? Do I need to ask him to hang out again say this coming weekend? I hope he doesn't think I'm annoying asking him to do stuff on the weekends. For example, we didn't hang out last weekend but we did the prior weekend. I am only home on the weekends so we are limited on when we can get together in the first place.

    • You have to initiate the next stage.

      Ask him where he stands in this relationship and where he wants to go with it.

  • Well he sounds REALLY shy haha. I think he is interested in you too, but his shyness will be a defining characteristic of his personality. So you have to get comfortable with this, ijs.

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    • Will I be initiating everything hang out wise? He asked me to grab drinks with him for our first hang out then last weekend he asked if I wanted to go to a movie with him. I took that as good signs. I usually have to text him first to start a conversation though. In person we are good, it's just the whole phone thing that sucks.

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    • I'm a shy guy too, and it took me 3 years to finally get the guts to ask my crush out. His behaviour is typical of a shy guy. But (big BUT here), he is 27 years old. I expected more.

      I started having more nerve when I was going to graduate from college, go for job interviews. I got more outgoing and talkative, and I see every date as an adventure. My crush says I've changed a lot but she says she can still see that I prefer being left alone and not talk much sometimes.

    • He does seem to be more outgoing and talkative in person versus how he was 5 years ago when we hung out then. I just wish I knew for sure that he was into me, most outgoing guys would give you some reassurance via text. This shy guy is just like a closed book. I can't read him at all when we aren't together in person. I hate texting for this exact reason! ugh!

  • 27 and never had a girlfriend? Cut him some slack, since he is that inexperienced you will have to take the lead mainly in the beginning

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  • you are cool for working with him.. learn a few things about what he likes and then he won't be so shy with you. and he will see that you are a really cool gal besides the make out sessions

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  • I don't think he wants what you want.

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  • he sounds like he is interested

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  • If this sounds like him, he's likely shy. Look for smiling, stuff like that. You mentioned he's happy around you that's good.

    www.youtube.com/watch

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  • I was fairly shy myself, and I have two siblings that are both even shyer (damn genetics <.<), so I think I can offer some insight that may help give some perspective. Although understand that people are shy for different reasons and his situation may be totally different.

    I got my first girlfriend at 22 after years of being. neglected? socially by my peers. Through my lack of initiative as well as a profound misunderstanding of shy people by the general population. This was especially true in terms of dating and stuff. So I had something of a self esteem problem. He sounds eerily like I did, with things like "I don't have much to say." That's not true. I would think that he is 1. Insecure because of lack of previous success. 2. Keeping up some walls because, even though you appear interested in him, he's waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under him and every one jump out and yell "surprise! it was a joke" =P. I would just be patient. If you think he's a good guy, then keep at it. I would encourage him to open up by making him feel comfortable. Ask him about stuff, get him to talk about himself. If he's uncomfortable, just talk about yourself or anything really. I think just talking to him will help. Make sure he knows that you want him to talk and that you like talking to him. Also, I would get him comfortable opening up to you alone before you start pushing for making the relationship "official" and all that. It add's pressure, even in normal relationships. And damn, he's 27. I have no idea how big the walls I would have had up if I didn't let them down until I was 27. But if you're forming a real connection, you're making more progress in the "Romantic Department" of your life than if you were going on 1 or 2 dates with other guys.

    Also I would assume that if he tells you he's busy and gives you a bunch of specific reasons, he's actually busy and trying to make sure you know he's not being vague and blowing you off.

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    • And telling his family about you is a good sign. If he's close to his family he trusts them and it will be important to him that they like you. Just like you would want your friends to like a guy you were dating. I hope this turns out well for both of you, good luck ;)

    • So this whole him not initiating the texting is normal then? I just take that as a sign of not interested but once we start texting then he seems to like it. It's just different because he is opposite of every other guy I have dated that obviously didn't work out. How can I get him to feel comfortable contacting me first? If I don't text him I worry he will think I lost interest. I text twice a week usually.

What Girls Said 22

  • I was in the situation you were in, but reverse. I was the extremely shy one. Like i wouldn't initiate conversation. it was all i could do to send a Facebook message back to the poor guy (we finally exchanged phone numbers after a couple months). Facebook messaging isn't even much of a commitment. this guy (my current boyfriend) waited 6 whole months for me to be ready and feel comfortable enough with him to be his girlfriend. and i thank him every day for that. I am also close with my family and told him upfront that if i get the chance to see my sister who i don't see much anymore and we happen to have plans that night, that i'm going to be with my sister. he understands it and is glad that i'm so close with my family.

    this guy is probably just insanely shy. just keep talking to him, in time you'll peel back that shell little by little. He'll appreciate it in the end :)

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    • Did your boyfriend do anything specifically that made you feel more comfortable with him? Any advice on how to get him to feel comfortable and to slowly open up more to me would be greatly appreciated.

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    • he first messaged me and that conversation was so terribly awkward for me (yes, even through texting i was incredibly shy). i didn't know why this guy was messaging me all of a sudden. i didn't really know him. it was crazy. i don't know if he picked up on that, but the next message came a couple weeks later. it was all just the polite "how you been doing" stuff. and then it was every couple of days after that. the conversations weren't long just about 20 minutes and we'd talk about a few things

    • eventually, i realized i liked talking to him and we started talking daily and then every minute that we could. granted this was over quite a few months of time. just act like you're talking to an acquaintance at first, then once you find out his interests, throw in a question about one of those every once in awhile. this should make him feel more comfortable with you through messaging. don't talk about any emotional stuff until you're sure absolutely sure he's ready for it.

  • Here is the approach to bring out your guy from his shell
    1. See him when he is in his element. If he plays sports, go and watch the game too. Be there as he finishes a marathon.
    2. Compliment him. Notice something about him or what he is doing that you really like and praise it with a specific and sincere compliment.
    3. Say his name a lot. Give him a complimentary nickname. This indicates that you're noticing him and that he is important to you.
    4. Ask open-ended questions. These kinds of questions will help a shy guy open up and talk about himself.
    5. Ask for help with something. Men love to help women. They're wired that way, to find solutions.
    6. Ask about his interests. Ask what he likes to eat or what sports, hobbies, or movies he enjoys.
    7. When leaving, say you’d like to see him again.
    8. Touch him gently or even give him a mini massage.
    9. Make the first move yourself. It's not illegal or even off limits, and it may come as a great relief to a guy who's a bit reserved if you ask him out.

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  • You should do both. Give up on him but leave the door open in case he musters the strength to be with you. Continue dating other guys. The only reason you should stop daring guys is cause you have an official relationship. Otherwise don't cause you may miss out on great guys while you are fussing about someone who may not be together with you

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  • He sounds like a nice shy guy, but in truth you really don't know him that well because he is so quiet. That's not to say you should give up, but make sure that you're not creating a relationship or personality (if that makes sense) for him and become invested in what you think he's like as opposed to what he's actually like.

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  • Hi,
    The most important thing here is that you like him n with your comments he likes you back but doesn't know how to show it. Like you said he's shy. you are probably the first girl he's dating.

    Mold him to your taste. Make him what you want, not controlling him, or dictating for him or telling him what to do, but make him your man. e. g. my sibling is dating a guy that he's so into her, but she doesn't like he's personality because he's boring, stays indoors, the cozy type, but she made him change. She suggested they go to the movies, the beach, the mall, have drinks out, blah blah blah. She molded the man to her taste n they are very happy together now. She even made him change the way he dresses, not by controlling him or been impulsive. She made him more attractive to the herself.

    The good thing about a shy guy is, he his a good listener. He doesn't say much, but he listens. So make him your man. You like him, make him someone you want to love and he sure will change.

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  • Yeah, be patient, but at some point in time, he SHOULD start opening up as he gets more comfortable with you.

    Things that would tell you that he's not that into you- when he cancels or won't make more plans and lists off excuses. It's kind of a universal "not interested" move.

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    • See the weekend when we went to a move he was supposed to go to a party with his buddies but didn't end up going. He said we could hang out then we ended up going to a movie. I thought it was nice that he didn't go with the guys but I didn't beg him or anything, he made the decision on his own. I would think he was just busy with his family this past weekend. Hope to see him this weekend or something.

  • It seems to me like he is still interested, just as shy as you say he is. Don't be afraid to be the confident, supportive one in the relationship. I admire how you aren't going out with anyone else. You sound like a good girlfriend.

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    • Thank you! I think it stems from the fact that in college when he tried to talk with me I quickly gave up on him when other guys approached me. I'm out of college now and more mature therefore I am willing to be more patient. The fact that we kissed/made out is what is driving me to believe he is interested. I'm going to ask him to hang out over the weekend here but if he has an excuse then I'll give him one more chance then I'll write it off.

  • My boyfriend was so shy but I kept going and being very persistent. My friends still to this day are like "he never talks!" Lol. But he's literally the best thing that's ever happened to me, worth the year of talking and befriending him. I'd do it all over again. (:

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    • Aww this gives me hope! In the beginning were you the one texting him first and coming up with ideas of things to do for dates? He seems super happy when we are together it's just that he doesn't seem to want to take the lead.

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    • All of your insight is very helpful and makes me believe that being patient could totally be worth it. Sometimes in text messages did it seem like he would only talk about himself and not ask much about you? Somedays he is like this and other days he will ask how my day is going etc. His guy friends keep reminding me that he told them that he does not know how to talk to a girl. I assume that is the problem here.

    • Not really. But if he doesn't really know how to talk to girls that make sense. Some guys can just feel awkward and unsure of what to say around girls. Especially if he likes you. The only time my guy wouldn't ask how I was is if he had a bad day which is understandable. (:

  • Want my opinion run far and run fast. Shy guys are so bloody frustrating. You think at some point they stop being shy and to a point they do but it's bloody painful. Don't get me wrong I absolutely love mine but it's work, as are all relationships but it's worse when they're shy. If you really like the guy just go for it but fair warning just cause he shy doesn't mean he's not an asshole

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    • I disagree with the advice to move on. I do agree with everything else you say. That point you make about potentially being an asshole has truth to it. There's nice people who're genuinely nice, and then there's nice people who are nice because they're afraid of not being liked.

  • It worries me that this is more of a challenge now than anything else, although no doubt you like this shy boy it also seems that he is the total opposite of you. You seem to have lots of friends and things to do whereas he is never had a girlfriend and possibly not too many friends. Does it seem to you that he is that much in to you? Have you spoken with him about it? Does he answer your texts in so many words or just Yes or No? Good luck. Please keep us up-dated. :)

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    • I'm actually pretty shy myself but definitely the more outgoing one of us two. I am used to guys throwing themselves at me but this time I want to go after what I want. He approached me to start so I took it that he was interested. I have yet to talk to him about this all on where we are headed but I don't want to scare him off by asking too much too fast. I feel like I need to be super cautious so I don't ruin it.

  • Tell him what you told us? it's the only hope that he has to change if not, he's not going to keep you in the relationship forever

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  • Shame on those who say "give up on him", be patient, he could really be the right guy for you, and as mention he never had a girlfriend before, show and remind him how much he really means to you! I would because I mean with all my heart. I mean how long will it take to meet someone like him?

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  • I picked B because I really find confident, talkative guys more attractive. I want someone that can express themselves fully to me. I don't care for shy, mysterious guys. It's okay to be shy sometimes, but when you let your shyness get in the way of being yourself around me or having a conversation with me I lose interest. I'm not interested in bringing something out of a person. I want them to already be willing to express themselves to me. I love to talk & I want a guy that's not quiet or don't have much to say. I like it when a guy can carry on a good conversation! That's a plus for me, but if he's too shy to express himself. I don't want to take up time with him.

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    • Disagree with the advice to move on, but strongly respect the opinion. I find myself somewhat shy, but I'm determined to overcome it. Men are supposed to be the leaders in the relationship. They make the decisions and take care of their woman. Men with overly shy personalities come across as weaker and less decisive.

  • He probably was busy. He should have gotten back to you earlier but don't make it a big deal. Now if he doesn't find time for you this weekend either, then that would be more of a problem.

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  • some guys are just not ready to date

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  • Why don't you tell him this? communication is key. Even shy people want to know what is going on, it his (kind of) relationship too. This seems to irritate you, if it goes on for too long how will this relationship turn out? not good. I do not think you should wait for him or give up on him, just get him on the same level as you. Talking fixes a lot more than people think. Waiting for someone is a waste of time if you aren't going to do anything to help him along.

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  • Personally I would say give it more time. He sounds shy but he might also be working with other issues like relationship fears etc

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  • You really shouldn't give up on him, he sounds like a nice guy :)

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  • Shy guys seem to one step forwards and two steps back so ummmm

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  • Right now, I'm seeing a guy who is afraid to commit because he's been hurt a lot, but it's very obvious he wants to commit to me, but he's just not ready yet. Shy guys in my opinion are pretty much the same, scared. Men want to feel like they are in control, even if they don't actively seek control. Make him feel comfortable with you; show him that he can be himself around you without fear of judgement, and do not box him in. I would try asking him directly if he can see you becoming a couple in the future. If he says yes, then give him some slack and see where it goes. If he says no, try not to take it personal, and back off a bit, but maintain some friendship. This will show him that you're not going to let him use you. Guys will play the shy and hurt card to get a romantic relationship without having to commit.

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  • From my viewpoint I dont see what the problem is. It seems like things are going well.. maybe a slower pace than you'd like, but I think he likes you. The bad news is you either have to get our of your comfort zone, and be willing to initiate the pace, makes all the moves etc, or find someone better suited for you.

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    • It just feels weird for me to initiate the plans but I'm willing to do it because I know he is a great guy. It's just weird to step out of my comfort zone.

  • The thing thats missing, is that you do not have a plan "C", to never give up, unless he does.

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    • How do I know when he has given up?

    • your gut feelings tells everything, you'll truly feel the spark has gone, and you teo has faded.

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