What the hell happened? Why are people like this?

So there's this girl in my class. For the first couple of class sessions, she would always look at me and smile. Eventually I started sitting next to her and we hit it off well. First thing she'd do whenever she'd see me was give me a hug, she would always look at me when I was talking to other girls, we always sat next to each other. I asked her out to lunch and she was so happy and excited. We had the date on Tuesday (3/4) and it was incredible. It could not have gone more perfectly: turns out we have so much in common, we listen to the same music, watch the same T. V. shows, we're both sci-fi dorks, we both love the outdoors, we even have the same radio presets in our cars, turns out I went to high school with all her friends so I know them and she got so excited she invited me to hang out Friday with all of them (I can't because I have work) but I told her I'm free next Friday since they hang out every Friday in the same spot. She was laughing and smiling the whole time, she loved the food. We took a walk after and we just had hours of amazing conversation.

Fast forward to today (3/6) and she barely wanted to talk to me, she was really cold. I sent her a text yesterday about the birthday party I'm having on Saturday and she said she may or may not be able to go and she stopped replying after that. As soon as class was over, she darted straight out and disappeared. What the hell happened in a span of two days after such an amazing date that would cause her to lose interest so fast? I gave her plenty of space, didn't bombard her with texts and didn't show I was desperate or clingy or anything (another guy in the class does that to her). Why are people like this?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Who can say? It's entirely possible that for whatever reason she simply changed her mind. I'd suggest giving her plenty of space. If she's changed her mind, you can't change it back for her. By the way, you might find yourself doing exactly what she's doing at some point in the future. It's OK to change your mind and it's OK for her to do the same. If she's lost interest, then at least be glad she didn't really drag things out and start looking for someone else. It might be profitable if you examine yourself and see if there's something you're overlooking that turned her off. If something happened in her life and she just wasn't into going out with you at this particular time, maybe she'll change her mind again. However, don't wait. Examine yourself as carefully and as unbiased as possible, if you find you did something wrong, learn from your mistake and move on. If she changed her mind inexplicably, I'm afraid there's little choice but to accept it. When you're over her, try to attract someone else.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Maybe a guy that she had a previous thing with is back in her life. Or since u know her friends (and they probably know u) they could've said something to ruin ur character. She could be going through a tough time at home. there's a whole crap load of things that could've went wrong, the only way to find out is to ask. Do it gently if u decide to so u don't bring on more stress to her. If she's still not responsive then move along bc u don't want to play games now and get ur feelings hurt in the end.

    Best of luck to u Hun

    Luv
    Rosie

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    • Thanks for the answer :) I was good friends with her friends (football team mates and locker neighbors for years) so I don't think my character was ruined haha. I'll definitely respectfully ask her for an honest answer if space and time doesn't change anything.

What Guys Said 4

  • Ah I know that exact feeling man. I've been there so many times, and there's really no way to know why things don't work out sometimes. Just let her have space and see if she comes back. If she doesn't, you can try and re-initiate things in a few weeks/months but I was never able to make things workout once it went downhill. One thing that I learned after experiencing that a lot is, if the girl is really into you, everything will happen naturally and you won't have any problems like this.

    You exactly remind me of myself right before I met my gf, so just move on, keep talking to other girls, and if you keep trying I promise you'll find a girl that is perfect for you.

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    • Your answer meant a lot man, thanks so much!

    • No problem! I hope things work out for you and if you ever need any advice, feel free to message me because I definitely have a lot of experience in this area haha

    • Thanks man, I might just take you up on that haha.

  • Slow down, take a breath, and wait it out. For all you know something bad could have happened, or she may have otherwise had an off day. If this is just a brief one off thing then there's no issue. If things go back to normal you can either just gloss it over and pretend this never occurred, or broach the subject and ask if she was alright as you noticed she wasn't her usual self. Don't read too deeply into it at this point since you are not operating with all the details.

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  • Im not sure

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  • She has heard something about you from someone else.

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