(GUYS) in this case would you rather a girl stick around or let go for awhile til your ready for something serious?

Me & my ex were dating for about 5 or 6 months. We broke up a couple times course the second time we didn't try again. Well we stopped dating in September 2013 & here it is march 2014 that were still seeing each other not dating but seeing each other

And by seeing each other were still having sex he comes to spend the night and we hold each other we still laugh together I still tell him that I love him and how much he means to me and he still says he loves me... we still have moments where we just lay & stare each other in the eyes...

I feel that there is still something there that's big & were both still holding on only thing is that he says he's at a point in his life right now where he needs to take care of school abd work (he's 22 by the way) he also says that I need to be doing the same meaning a relationship is the last thing that he's thinkin about but I see him as mine & that's it I understand him but at the same time I believe were practically In a relationship but not having a title to us bothers me

My question is should I just step back for awhile and let him take care of him and if he still feels love & like in his heart for me then try us again or should I continue to do what we've been doing... it hurts me to know we still have something but get around him and know that were not official because everytime I do I constantly ask him thousands of question about us and I know it bothers him & I def. Don't want to push him away from me & rid him of his feelings for me. What should I do in this case just stop carrying on the way we have been & maybe later pick back up from where we left off? Kind of to preserve our feelings for one another... or when were together just keep my mouth shut about us and just go with the flow?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • From a guy that did what your bf did. I told her i feel i'm not ready for a relationship. Having one demands a lot and i sensed i wasn't up for it. I felt i couldn't do it. The whole "relationship" stuff. In my case she didn't take it well. So the fact that you are here and you stick around is a big achievement. And i'd actually say you have a relationship with him. Only thing is you two agreed to stop calling it like that for a while. He wanted that "title" taken away so he wouldn't feel pressured. You hang out, have time, sleep together so it basically is a relationship. Make it clear sleeping with other people is OFF LIMITS and you don't accept that. As far as asking him "about us" all the time... Don't over do it. Do a check up from time to time but not everytime. And i'd say you should stick around. Be there and do what you are doing. It's still love

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    • So do you think that there should be any boundaries? Technically were not together but I still am making an effort to treat it as such while on the other hand I feel he is not. Sure he holds me at night and says I love you after I've said it (I always say it first) sure he looks at me as if to be admiring me but he doesn't text me at all only once in awhile and that's to come over and spend the night or me go to his place but never to check up on me say I love you or even a good morning and of course no calls at all

      So it seems as though he's added quite a bit of boundaries in there that I was unaware of. I know he is busy with his social life and career path but shouldn't (even though we aren't official) still feel like he values me in sense of me still being his girlfriend? Or no? Is this a typical thing to be expected from him in this situation and how should I be responding to his actions

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    • Its ok im used to coming across jerks by now but thanks for the advice! :)

    • Im sorry I dont mean you as the jerk I mean the guy is lol thanks again

What Guys Said 3

  • You guys definitely are attracted to one another. The fact that you keep on getting together, being so comfortable with each other, so vocal and open, and you both try to work things with compromises, it all shows that as a couple you really want to end up together 'officially' someday.

    If there's a will there's a way. Cliche but true. If he doesn't want the same things as you, he would have found all sorts of excuses just to run away and find someone new. But he ultimately finds himself time and time again back to you.

    Priority is a powerful thing. He's lucky that you are someone who understands. You're also lucky that he's working hard on his end of the relationship.

    I have friends who had a long distance relationship for 5 years... They're getting married this year.

    Talk things out. Be true. And the universe will do everything in its power to help you two.

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  • Sounds like he is really into you and wants to be with you but just has too much on his plate right now to also be in a relationship, I say stick around.

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  • He is happy with the sex and emotional part, but anything out side of that (which is the meat of the whole relationship pie) is not interesting to him right now, and is just a time-sink. He wants to spend that time on other things.

    If you're okay with that, he could be a great guy and you could have a good time. (You would just have to ask that he stays exclusive and faithful. If he can't or won't do that, then he's lying about what he actually wants.)

    But most girls are not okay with just having a good time. They want to go out on dates, talk until the small hours, go dancing, have emotional support, and so on.

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What Girls Said 1

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