I'm seeing a good guy but he cusses like a sailor. How to handle?

I'm seeing this guy and we have only been seeing each other for a little over 6 weeks. I really like him but he cusses like a sailor. He cussed like this the first time he met my BFF. While it bothers me a little it really bothered her. How do I broach the subject and get him to tone it down.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I suggest talking about this when he's in a good mood and not right when it happens. I'd have three current examples of where it's been problematic. Tell him you really like him and he doesn't need to cuss constantly to impress you or prove his manhood. In fact, you'd like to see him use his vocabulary. Also, your friends aren't as open minded as you are about the language and you'd appreciate him not cursing around your friends. If he reacts poorly, may be time to move on.

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    • Just curious: what happened? If mine was bad advice, I don't want to repeat it.

What Guys Said 2

  • i really dont get why people are so uppity about things like this. a word is a word. you find it offensive because you want to find it offensive.
    fuck is like the most versatile word in the English language, and its all about inflection and where its used.

    maybe to help put things into perspective, if someone says 'that was so fucking awesome' or 'that was so freaking awesome' why take offence to one and not the other? they have been used in exactly the same context to mean exactly the same thing.

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  • I really don't see why it bothers pepole so much. but mabey you could just tell him it bothers your friend.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Ask him nicely.
    Say something along the lines of, "Hey, I really like you, but I would appreciate it if you didn't swear so much around my friends. It makes them rather uncomfortable." If he's a good guy, he'll stop.
    If he doesn't, he's not worth your time.

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    • On the other hand, she could consider not letting her friends try to control her boyfriend...

    • That is something to consider, yeah. But if your boyfriend is making both you and your friends uncomfortable (and if he wasn't making her uncomfortable, she wouldn't have stated anything) then it's something that needs to be brought up. It's not that she's letting her friends try to control her boyfriend.

    • I'm not letting anyone control my BF but to me it seems like unnecessary profanity. I cuss but not every other breath, and I'm mindful when I'm around others who I know do not use profanity.

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