Really so the only reason I am single is because I'm not skinny?

Seems to be the answer I get is that a man will never be attracted to me for very long ever.

Updates:
I should mention that this is what the guys on here keep telling me.
www.plus-model-mag.com/.../
My body type is essentially this and kinda similar in the face (well the eyes at least)

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If you truly were doing fine dating-wise until 29 and suddenly at 30 find yourself in a rut, then I think you might look elsewhere for the problem. Unless you're walking around with a sign that says "Hey I'm 30 now" I don't see how there could be very much of a difference between last year and this year. Especially since you say you've lost 15lbs. Could it be that something in your attitude or confidence has changed now that you've left your twenties and you're so aware of it? Or the same thing, but because of your recent drought in dating and not because of your age?

    It's hard when people make questions on here that describe themselves as "large" and then don't give any visual representation to back that up. That's where you get the overwhelmingly negative responses, because people assume the worst. The body type in that image is not at all out of the dating spectrum. And as you say, you've been like this and pretty much been fine until recently. And another thing I'd point out, every so often on GaG, someone makes a poll about "if you had to pick a girl with a pretty face or a hot body, which would you choose," and the overwhelming results is the pretty face. Also there are people out there that prefer heavier women. There definitely are. The sample size of guys on this website isn't large enough or diverse enough to get a realistic opinion on that, so don't let it discourage you.

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    • See I have tried to figure it out. I am happier now as I stopped letting people walk all over me as I realized I am too old for that at 30. My personallity is the same. I meet more people than I used to. And I am more outgooing than I used to be. Granted I am slightly more selective in my affections now, as the unemployed guy that lives with his momma and deals on the side is no longer appealing, but really I got over that about age 25.

What Guys Said 10

  • I think you've surveyed yourself and decided unilaterally that the reason your boyfriends don't last long is due to your weight. Another commenter points out that you at least attract some men. Yes, some men like bigger girls because they have tighter yang-yangs. I opine that you should date as many men as you can because you will learn a little bit from each one. This is the 21st Century with the greatest ratio of single people than ever in the US, so your experience may be the norm despite your weight. However, perhaps you realize that excess poundage is at some point as unhealthy as smoking, so woman up and start a sensible diet, exercise, and learn to meditate 30 minutes or more a day.

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    • Who said I never had lasting relationships nor that I have not had many? I have dated at least 15 guys, had 6 serious relationships, and been engaged once. But the past few years it has been difficult. When I try to ask why this is the reason I get from men on here.

  • Well it's probably more than just your size that's the problem (since you said "for very long") but if you think it's really hindering your ability to attract men, you can always eat healthily, go to the gym, and lose weight.

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  • The model in that link is obviously overweight and it doesn't look healthy, but she's not morbidly obese.
    If you look fit and healthy, you'll look more sexy. People will care more about you if you care about yourself and your own health. If you look like you could run a mile, you'd have enough energy to do other fun things.

    That may not be what you want to hear, but you should lose weight for your own health's sake.

    You're not too fat to find a boyfriend, but if they see you're making some effort to become fit and healthy it could help. If you understand their body language and you know how to use some of your own, you'd still get them interested.

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    • I'm not going to comment on if I am going to lose weight or what I do. I go to the gym regularly and 80% of the time eat healthier than the skinny people I know. As for energy before my current job I used to work 15 hour days on my feet, run errands, and then do a little house cleaning before going to bed to sleep to do it all again.

    • i agree, you're not "not skinny." when you start pushing 200, 250, 300 lbs (depending on height) and you're not a body builder, you've reached unhealthy/disgusting stage. and it's unattractive. I slept with 6 woman, none of them made me hard. and some were tight, some were not (and just for the record, fatter chicks have all had super fucking loose vags, even a fat virgin, maybe it was because i couldnt get fucking hard, but either way, fucking disgusting.)

    • No offense wayfarer, but I'm really not going to the the opinion of somehow with intimacy issues as evidenced as you have never been able to "get hard" with the women you have "slept" with (plus not even sure how that is possible).

  • I was in a relationship for 25 years and she never got below 250. You need to find the one who gets to know the real you. Of course that isn't easy.

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  • Girls way heavier than u can score guys. You're just going through a dating drought right now.

    Be patient!

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    • A three year dating drought? My last date was in September 2011.

    • Just curious... are u the type to approach guys on occasion?

    • Yup. Trust me this is not for lack of trying or even turning down guys. Seems the last three guys that asked me out seemed to bail on me at the last minute.

  • If you were 18? Maybe. At your age? Definitely not. Find better guys to hang out with.

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    • Well that side of 30, I had my pick of who I wanted (still same size). Once I hit say 29 it's been slim pickens with the few that do ask me out canceling before we even go out.

  • To be honest a lot of people are really shallow and 'think' they have to go with skinny girls because if they dont people will laugh. I used to be like this in my teens until i grew my own brain. I now actually find curvy girls far more sexier than skinny girls and it is sooo much better in the bedroom! I haven't been with a skinny girl for about 10 years now.
    If your not happy you should change for you only, if you are happy f**k what people think im sure your beautiful.

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    • I hear all the time that bigger girls are better in bed. What is it that makes it better?

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    • @manwithoutmap Nail on the head answer!
      Hard men like soft women! Wheres the like button!!

    • Intriguing, much like the guy up top whom said it's often "tighter".

  • weight doesn't matter

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  • As long as you're willing to go for guys your size, it should be no problem.

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  • Women far fatter than you can still get a boyfriend. Most likely it is because your standards are too high for they type of guy you can attract.

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    • I love how people think that I have impossibly high standards all the time

    • It is a common problem for single people to have.

What Girls Said 11

  • I've seen plenty of beautiful fat girls. In fact most of those fat girls I've seen have facees so much beautiful than the skinny girl next to them. Only problem is their weight and we know todays society being fat is a no no and a turn off for most guys. You may not have a bf because most people have preference fir their girl to be skinny or some may be feeling you are dateble but arejust ashame they'll be laugh at. But mostly you are single because a LOW percentage of guy would date a big girl. so finding one who does, is hard.

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  • no... there are plenty of heavier girls that get guys. It isn't about the body.. it is the way you carry yourself. confidence and etc.

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    • Personality and the way you carry yourself cannot overcome your body/looks to everyone - but it sure can be a boost and half of what makes you attractive.

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    • Well other than going completely vegan and gluten free (not something that I could EVER stick too) it's just very hard to deal with. I mean I eat healthy 85% of the time and work out several times a week. But it's just my body not being able to work right no matter what I do. But living your life with your head over a toilet or siting on it the vast majority of the day in order (at the cost of $350 a month for the prescription that makes it mildly more tolerable than the generic) to fix things just doesn't make it worth while.

    • ah yeah I understand. I am sorry though. but, there are guys that will love you for you =) I promise

  • Well, everyone has their preferences. However, I wouldn't let that bother me.
    You need to get out there and meet more people. Don't rely on your usual group of friends just go do your thing, girl.

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  • Maybe you're single because you're bitter and halve the mindset that people can only like you for your looks.

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    • Nope it's my personality that wins people over. If anything I am a little too arrogant at times.

  • You keep saying that your personality wins people over but I think you might be wrong, if that was the case guys would actually follow up on dates. Other than that, your weight is unhealthy, some people may find it attractive, a lot won't. Not trying to knock you off your high horse or anything but you should probably consider that.

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  • Dude I go to culinary school and even some of the fat girls have boyfriends

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  • You have to realize that when you're that big, you get less to choose out of. That's just reality. Unless you know how to work with what you've got, you will have it more difficult than the thinner women.

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    • Sigh I do work with what I got. My butt is super nice and firm (due to my constant walking) and I have a really nice rack that I show off tastefully. I dress to impress a good 95% of the time.

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    • There's a difference between being cocky and being confident. You should really learn the difference. One is appealing, the other is off putting. It would help you a lot.

    • Never cocky that's for assholes. As I said I am NEVER bitchy about it. In fact I loathe cockiness.

  • If all skinny girls are getting boyfriends why am I still single then?

    I know plenty of heavier girls who are in relationships. There are all types of men who prefer different types of women. You just haven't met them yet.

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  • Well I would take those criticism as motivation to get in shape, jmo

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    • I suggest you read my comments to eiffel and see that is not the problem. But thanks for the hate.

    • I wasn't throwing hate. Sorry if you felt that way. Im just saying you are obviously upset about something, and nothing wrong with trying to get in shape. But as I said that's just my opinion. I happen to be a chubby chaser 😄😃

    • I'm upset that I haven't been on a date in almost three years and cannot figure out why

  • Honey... Your weight doesn't really matter! Believe me! I'm almost 30 and have known so many girls with a "spare tire" that have dated so many guys. It's all personality!

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    • See my personality hasn't changed and guys that never dated over a size two used to date me because they were so drawn to my personality. But like I said below the older I have gotten the less and less I date. And the overwhelming majority on here says this is the issue.

  • I'm not at all skinny and have no problem get attention from guys.

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    • I used to not either. But when I ask why anymore that's what I get on here

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    • I think most people are brutally honest in the internet. Especially Opinion regarding question like this. So i think these option should be regarded. In real life people will but try to hurt your feeling and go around with their answer. They can say something saying Theo date a big girl, but when the opportunity arrives they don't.

    • True, but people online often only know a little or nothing of a person. People in your life know your personality.

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