I have no idea where to go from here.

A few months ago this girl and I became good friends. She just transferred to my college and we had a few mutual friends from high school, so she introduced herself and we started hanging out together. I had no idea she was interested in me at this point; I assumed she was just trying to make new friends at her new school. Anyways, a few months pass and she starts to grow on me until I have a full blown crush on her. I still think she just wants to be friends by the time we leave for spring break, and I really don't know what to do. Over break we talked a lot and eventually we admitted to each other that we did have feelings for each other. Everything was great. I asked her out as soon as I got back in town and we were so happy. Less than 24 hours later, she tells me that she's not sure we should date because she doesn't want to ruin our friendship and she isn't sure she wants a relationship. She told me she just got out of a long term relationship when we met and wasn't sure if she was ready for a new one. She also said she thought I liked her more than she liked me, which confused me because I thought it was the other way around. She was always showing up at my apartment unannounced and texted me constantly. It was such a shock to my system, everything was going so well and then boom, all this comes out. Eventually, I said that unless we were sure about dating, maybe we should hold off, because I now had no idea how she felt about me and me about her. The transition back to friends was pretty smooth, and we've hung out a couple of times since then, but I still can't help but wonder where all that came from. And I definitely still have feelings for her. So what do I do from here? When should I try again, or is it in her hands now? Is it possible she still likes me? Should I talk to her about it? I feel so unsatisfied because I know for a fact the feeling was mutual, but we never got off the ground. I'm really confused. Any response at all would be great.


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What Girls Said 2

  • I've done that to a guy before and for me the reason i told him we should just stay friends was because I simply couldnt see a future with him. i think girls and guys are diff in that sense. girls like to think ahead... way ahead. and we overanalyze things. but guys, if they like it they like it. this may not apply to all girls and guys.. this is just my opinion. so what im trying to say is that maybe that girl likes you but when she ran all the things she knew about u through her head, she figured it wouldn't work out well. i could be wrong, just saying my opinion. but if thats the case you should jst continue to be cool and be urself. dont be there for her too much. not saying u shouldn't be there for her at all, but dont be too available. if she sees what a great guy (im going to assume u are a great guy) you are, shell come back around.

  • My advise would be to continue to grow your friendship for now and become even closer because it seems to me that she just got a little intimidated by the thought of a real relationship. So I'd say continue to talk and then yes, try again sometime down the road when it seems right. If then things break down again, you should probably settle for friends but as of now I think you have a chance.


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