How not to be needy and desperate?

What is the best way to avoid being needy and desperate around women you're attracted to?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think that if, in your head, you have other options in your life, I think that does a lot to help. If the coffee place is closed, you have an idea of another really cool coffee shop in the area. You have plans and are doing things, and not sitting around all day because no one invited you to something that day. You want to go out and you've got nothing standing in your way (like work)? Do it! Be the catalyst for activity.

    I was reading an article about how many of us have a conversation where it seems like we're boring. We answer the same ways. "How are you?" "Fine." "What have you been up to?" "Nothing" or "work." The article argued for having a life interesting enough where you can always think of something fun or cool that you did recently. Since then, I try to answer with something more substantial than "just working." It takes some practice, but it can change how you're perceived (and change how you perceive things and how you live your life).

    And no, I'm not scaling mountains, or jumping out of planes, but I try to make improvements to my life so I can BE more interesting (if I have nothing interesting to say). Have a life you want with as many options as you can create (don't be an idiot and overspend on a vacation you can't afford, or go into huge debt for some silly thing you don't need).

    Show you have a life and that you think you're worth being treated well by others.

    A friend treats you badly, and always has? Drop them. They're toxic. Have who you think is worthwhile; family, true friends... it's not about the girl. If a girl treats you badly over and over, you're worth much more, and you let everyone know that. Cut out as many toxic people as you can. Don't let them bring you down.

    Hope this helps.

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What Girls Said 5

  • Have confidence. I mean ita fine when your in a relationship but when your getting to know someone talk to them like you would your friends. Just dont push for the fact you like them let them know in time

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    • So don't flirt with them?

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    • Like I said just try. Thats all you need to do smile and be yourself. It will be okay oh and if I dont reply I probably fell asleep its 12:30am and I got to get up at 6am

    • Women think they're too good for me

  • Be yourself. Even it means needy clingy etc, be just yourself. Because when a person acts, pretends smone which he is not, sooner or later i discover how actually he is. And this makes me i dont know him. A girl should accept you with all your qualities.

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    • I can't be myself cuz they don't like me

  • avoid being needy and clingy by learning to rely on yourself before you get into a relationship and make sure you have a few hobbies you're involved in which prevents you from spending every waking minute texting and calling the woman you're interested in. Flirt but dont reply right away to her texts until you notice her contacting you more and more, dont over do the physical contact, and dont talk about how lonely you are and you probably won't seem needy and desperate

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    • Thanks for the advice

  • Don't concentrate all your time and effort on her alone. Focus on other hobbies, activities, etc.

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  • Be honest with her and yourself. If you are interested then you might as well let her know it. Why waste time acting aloof when you have feelings to share? Life is short.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Don't be needy or desperate. Seriously the first step is to not pretend and actually do. Figure out why you think you need a woman. Work through all of those thoughts. Then think about why you want a relationship right now or why it needs to be this particular women. Work through all those thoughts. It's a very slow process but overtime you will realize there's no need and no rush just a nice little attraction that you take a chance on. There are no shortcuts. Well none actually worth taking.

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  • have some confidence around girls might help you not look desperate. and maybe just try and be causal friends with some of these girls to start , don't maybe try and date them rate away just get to know them and if there is any interest than pursue it further

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    • How come other guys get the girls without being friends first? If you're attracted to a girl it's going to show

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    • I want to date them cuz I'm attracted to them. If they want to be friends after that's cool

    • but thing is most guys are attracted to lots of girls they want to date but realistically can't get dates with. and girls only really date guys they know allready or really attracted to. I don't know you goota start somewhere and get meeting these girls and get to know them

  • Well, my advice would be to find yourself some hobbies and make more interactions with people you aren't necessarily attracted to. You need to fill your life with people, so you won't be so desperate to fill any voids. i have faith in you

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    • Thanks man.. I just need a gf

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    • Some girl said on here I won't find someone til I'm 80

    • thats just her personal bitterness coming forward

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