GUYS: Do I text him or is the ball in his court?

I have been dating a guy and just mirroring him. He texts and I text back. He calls and I call back. He does something and I do the same to make sure I know his interest level.

So, I was traveling and he texted me to see how my trip was. I said I was still on my way back home and was on a layover. He said "Let's talk after you've settled in; safe travels!

Is the ball in my court to text him or shall i wait for him?


Most Helpful Guy

  • No, you're already being pretty lame on the communication front. You need to initiate this time. I know it's scary in some ways because it feels like you're putting your heart on your sleeve when you contact first, but you also need to meet him halfway or he'll figure you're not interested.

    • I met him online and we've been on 4 dates now. He is much older. Have you ever heard about mirroring?

    • Show All
    • i checked out your link...

      It's called mirroring. Basically, it means you don't do anything unless he does it first. You don't call. You don't text. You don't make plans. If he doesn't make an effort, that just means he's not very motivated to be your partner.

      if you simply change change all the he's for she's it works the exact same way in reverse...

    • OP, do yourself a favour and distance yourself as much as possible from dumb cunts like whoever wrote that article. Total bullshit. Dating is supposed to be fun for all involved, not some system so a girl can "land a man" and trying squeeze whatever she wants out of him. By following that philosophy you're being the flakiest, shittiest possible dating partner you could be. You are not on some pedestal above the man that he has to prove himself worthy of you. Mutuality is the word of the day. Guys enjoy it when girls their interested in contact them. Just don't be needy about talking to him all the time/wanting him to return contact right away


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What Guys Said 3

  • you should show some initiative and actually be the one to make the first move. it shows that you are actually interested in him as opposed to simply acknowledging his interest in you.

    • Agreed. He has been contacting me and so maybe I will contact him this time since he contacted me on my way back. Thanks!

  • He said to call when you get settled in. So whenever you get settled in and have some time, call him.

    • If you didn't know, you better know this now: guys want you to do some footwork. You have to show your interest

      you've been mirroring, and that's fine. But look for your chance to initiate at some point.

  • Id say if you like him, you need to start showing you are really interested. If i always texted a girl and she only texted me when i texted her i would start to wonder how serious she was. Id say its in your court. You might just really surprise him and he might really like it.


What Girls Said 1

  • I think you should initiate the talking/texting after you've settled in and ready. He doesn't know when you're all settled in, ya know?