Am I dealing with a player here? It seems too good to be true...?

So I maintain an online dating profile. It is very well fleshed out and makes very clear I'm only interested in a long term relationship. About 2 weeks ago, a guy in CA messaged me. I am no where near CA. I was somewhat intrigued, as he clearly wasn't local, he'd asked me a philosophical question relating to something in my profile, and frankly, was model-level good looking. So I responded. So far everything he has told me has checked out as true, including the fact that yes, he was a model (huzzah for Skype and the internet). He's been very attentive, in fact a bit too much. His compliments and willingness to commit are kinda over the top and premature, and I can't tell if he's just that smitten, a bit immature, or a player with a capital P. It just seems "too good to be true". He's a doctor (he's older than I am), and so well-off he tells me. He only admitted it reluctantly when I said I wasn't really interested in long distance, and he said travel wasn't an issue for him, that he'd fly out on the weekends. I just have a hard time believing it. Like I said though, it ALL checks out with digging. A friend of his contacted me on the dating site saying that he'd never seen this guy so intent so he wanted to say hi and see what the fuss was about. He's not been shy overall with personal details, which I'd expect form someone looking for the power trip deception can offer. He has been shy with me a bit though, in the stuttering first date sort of way. We have not met in real life yet. I'm a 24 year old PhD candidate, and while I'm hardly unattractive, I'm definitely not model-level pretty. So I'm somewhat perplexed. At the end of the day though, for all his success, intellect and good looks, he is just another person, so I guess it could be?

So guys, What is your take? Is he playing a game very very well, or is he just an unusually desirable lonely guy looking for love?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • To be honest, it seems kinky/fishy to me. I knew a guy (almost dated that guy) who appeared very interested in me at the very beginning, he messaged me every day and pampered me with his complements and his suaveness. It took me almost two years to realise i could never get him to commit to any serious relationship with though. So if i were in your shoes, i would take it veryyy slow. Dont afraid he would run away because if he is your mr. Right, at the end of the day, he will be there for you... And if you haven't met him face to face, you should and talk to him. I think it may help your instinct. Let's wait and see. Good luck!

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What Guys Said 1

  • Could be that he's suffering from weak self-esteem which is why he's being over the top. It's always a possibility.

    Just don't have sex with him anytime soon... that'll help narrow this down to determine what exactly he's after.. or who is really is.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Many times when people say "It's too good to be true" it usually is. He sounds very eager and a bit over eager... To me that is a problem because it kind of sends red flags to me. He could be interested and all but that is not what I am getting from this. I think you need to definitely talk to him more. Ask him questions ans listen how he responds. If it sounds reversed then it probably is. He is a model? So he has had practice at this. I say take it slow. I hope this helped. Good luck, my dear. :)

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