Why do women care about weight so much?

This is for the ladies, why won't you date a guy just cuz he's overweight? Isn't it more important how he treats you than his weight?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I believe man do care this like women.

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    • I don't understand?

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    • I like women a lot . It doesn't matter that I'm not fit

    • but man try to be fit and they worj out for having a fit body more than women.

What Girls Said 21

  • Why should anyone lower their standards for you?

    Because you have a good heart? That's adorable. Go tell that to the "no fat chicks" expression. Is it really fair that this expression is directed primarily at women? There's no male equivalent other than maybe "no fatties", but that's not even an expression.

    If I take care of my body, I expect my partner to be of a similar standard. There are many good-hearted people of varying weight, but why should I choose an overweight good-hearted person over a fit good-hearted one?
    Surely anyone's first choice would be the attractive one.

    Looks can be a major factor and are important for any sexual relationship to work. No attraction = no sex. However, if you actually go outside and meet people, you will find that many unattractive and overweight people are in relationships and not necessarily because they were married since forever and let themselves go since then.

    Reading your replies here shows you have a bad attitude about life and yourself. To be honest, even if you had a hot chiseled bod, I wouldn't touch you with a 10ft pole, because you're such a downer.

    Work on your attitude. And your body. "I don't like how diet food tastes" just shows you're lazy and never bothered to do any research on how to eat and stay healthy. Diets don't work and are bad for your body. Also, eating healthy doesn't mean you have to eat grass 24/7.

    Get off your arse and put some effort into making yourself a better person.

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    • A woman wanting me wouldn't lower their standards. . You know that's insulting right?

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    • And um who says overweight is low standard? Are you saying overweight guys aren't attractive?

    • To quite a few people, yes, overweight = unattractive.

      Only a small percentage of people are overweight due to some underlying medical reason. Not every fat person has a thyroid problem, most of the time it's just a lazy attitude such as yours, which in turn is of course unattractive.

  • If I work my ass off to be in shape and maintain some type of fit body, I would kind of want the same thing from my man. He doesn't have to be fit. But, I don't want him being obese. I don't judge, and I wouldn't necessarily turn a guy down because he was obese; however, I wouldn't want him to bring me down either because he is obese.

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    • That makes sense

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    • there are several options to go.. if you want to lose weight. I would go see a doctor and see your options =)

    • I went to the doctor and he wasn't able to refer me to a nutritionist

  • Why do men care about penis size so much?

    society tells us too. It is difficult to go against your social conditioning.

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    • I never said i had a problem with that so that's very inappropriate and insensitive. . I'm talking about weight

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    • Read read our whole conversation and then tell me what you think it is.

    • EXACTLY what I was clicking on this question to write.

  • It sounds like you've had bad experiences with certain women. I personally couldn't care less about his weight as long as he's loyal, loves and adores me. If i met a guy on a date i don't immediately dismiss him because of that, i wait to see what his personality is like.
    Try dating other women who appreciate you for who you are not your weight.

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    • I'm scared to approach a woman cuz of my weight

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    • Ok maybe they don't. But not all women are like that :) also being friendly to someone before asking them out immediately ( a week) helps to prevent that immediate judgement with a lot of women.

    • I was told by men you see a girl you find hot approach her and ask her out. It shows confidence. I was at this club and I saw this guy approach a woman and within 3 minutes he got her phone number. Why can't I do that

  • I'd go out with an overweight guy. But it would bother me if he has some poor habits leading to his weight, such as over eating, and a sendentary lifestyle. In that case, it would be his habbits that bother me, not necessarily his weight. But still, his weight needs to be within reason, as attraction is important within a relationship.

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  • I don't see this behavior nearly as often in women as I do in men. I dated an overweight guy for 2 years at one point...

    I see more thin women with overweight men than I see the opposite. I don't think that women not being attracted to you is about your weight. It likely has something to do with you being bitter and trying to fit everyone into one little box with generalizations. Attitude is HUGE.

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    • I try to show a good attitude but they reject me

  • Well I don't feel sexually attracted to fat people in general. The sex would be gross

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    • It was the best I ever had. Better than bony

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    • Look everyone has preferences. I just don't get hot and bothered by them at all

    • I respect your preferences but I come on here to look for help and support

  • I work hard to take care of myself & keep fit. I shouldn't expect any less out of a guy that wants to be with me.

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    • Do you know how hard it is to diet and exercise. . It's a case of easier said than done

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    • Um no its every girls preference. . You are sugar coating it

    • I sat and read through most of the posts on this page. My impression is your making excuses for being overweight & why you can't do anything about it. The same can be said about men don't like overweight women.

  • Because I am not attracted to overweight guys. Never have been.
    On a separate issue, women deal with this way more.

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    • Why do you think you're better than overweight people?

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    • I don't want to date overweight guys. That's my choice.

    • Did you come on this thread to help people or kick them when their down?

  • Because too many people judges otger people just because of their weight. Some people makes other people down just by saying this. If you ask me, I don't carebif a guy is under weight or over weight as long as he is faithful and treats me well and is a good man. The weight can change but the heart doesn't.

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    • Look at the woman above how she insults people on their weight

    • You're exactly right about the heart.. they can't change their ugly superficial heart

  • fat isn't masculine. Older men often gain excess fat and it's believed we evolved that way to indicate potential partners that they're past their physical peak. Testosterone is a fat burning hormone, estrogen is a fat storing hormone. fat is feminine (within reason)

    That being said I don't think most women would mind a guy being a bit chubby. And well how tolerant are you of womens weight? In general bigger women will be accepting of it

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    • I'm fat and I'm no less masculine than the next guy. I'm very strong and handy therefore masculine. . I'm probably more masculine than some of your thin guys out there but this is my opinion

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    • They lower testosterone

    • I meant both biologically and culturally, but ya mainly biologically.
      Fat does lower your testosterone and increases your estrogen. As I said, fat is feminine. Def biologically, but I think also culturally. Women just do have more fat than men, even slim ones, so I feel a lot of people see the opposite as masculine.

      If you're handy and strong, that's great, but that's a different thing. People won't know that looking at you

  • Look, a relationship always begins with physical attraction. You get a person to talk to you by being physically attractive, and then you win them over and keep them by following up with a great personality. In all honesty, women throw standards in the trash way more often than men do for a relationship. I'm not saying there isn't hope for you, but the truth is, fit guys get first pick.

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    • Um who said i wasn't attractive?

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    • Skinny guys in the military. They tend to be full of themselves to the point if it becoming an annoyance. I don't like it.

      I'm agreeing with you for once, be happy.

    • That's condescending. Even though I'm overweight I'm not bad looking. . I think a guy can be overweight and hot

  • Guys like pretty girls, girls like pretty guys, this is just in general. Of course how he treats girls is more important, but no excuse, he should working out and keep fit.

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    • Sorry not everyone can afford a gym membership

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    • of course based on fitness, do you prefer a slim girl or overweight girl?

    • Depends. . Many things factor in

  • For a potential partner, no. I don't want to feel his beer gut. Its like being with a pregnant man

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    • His unhealthy eating and attitude will drag me down.. I don't believe life is short like most people who are conditioned to do so here. Boring outlook.

    • @abundantlyrich lol

  • I don't even think about guys weight. I know how much it bugs me about being considered too skinny and guys can feel just as badly about their bodies. So I don't think all girls do. And if they are that focused on weight they have some mental growing that needs to be done before they date.

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    • @funkypineapple it's refreshing to see someone judge someone on their personality rather than their outer appearance

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    • What we both should do is not show that it bugs us cuz that's their endgame to humiliate and destroy others. .

  • i think guys also care a lot about girls' weight too..

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    • I don't

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    • It's not acceptable for me. I miss having a gf and I need to fill my exes void

  • i would date someone who is overweight

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    • Good to know there's hope

  • Sure, being treated well is very important in a relationship. But so is sexual attraction. And I'm sorry, but being fit and healthy is more attractive than being unhealthy and fat. That's just the way it is. Survival of the fittest and all that. So what's important is having a balance of both, being healthy and at the same time able to treat your partner with respect and love.
    There's nothing wrong with holding your partner or future partner to the same standards that you hold yourself to. Meaning, if you're healthy, you have every right to expect your partner to be healthy too. If you're a virgin waiting for marriage, you have every right to expect your partner to share the same views as you. If you're not a virgin and you also want someone with more experience, that's fine too.
    As much as we'd like to live in a perfect world where looks don't matter, we don't. Looks do matter, at least partially. There's no way a relationship will work without mutual physical attraction. That's just the way it is.

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    • Omg what made you think I'm a virgin? You don't even know me.. I'm not a virgin. I was engaged

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    • Why am I supposed to be sympathetic?

    • Forget it.. you don't have to.. There are other nice people on here

  • Humans are wired to value sexual attractiveness when it comes to romantic partners. An overweight girl is much more likely to date an overweight guy, though. Being overweight is physically hazardous for people. The habit and lifestyle is adverse to a person's health. Like other bad lifestyle choices... people with the same habits are more likely to accept it (or even prefer it) in others (smoking, heavy drinking, drugs, etc)

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    • eh, life is hazardous really. plenty of "healthy, fit" people die every year from exercise. perfectly healthy peoples hearts will just stop beating during regular exercise routines. but in general it is better to get some exercise than to not do anything

    • Statistically, more people die from obesity related illness than exercise. But yeah, the same goes for people who are exercise fanatics -- it's better for them to date someone who is into whatever they are into. I don't think you need to be identical, but health styles is a pretty big one for a lot of people.

  • I believe my current boyfriend is technically "obese" on the BMI scale. I don't know any women who refuse to date a man on the basis of weight alone.

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    • I've heard the big scale is not too accurate

  • There are more chubby men in the world than skinny men. How he treats me is the MOST important thing for me.

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    • Thank you.. finally some sense

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    • You Know My Handicap?

    • I don't know your handicap, but I really doubt that there isn't some kind of exercise that you can do. Doctors create specific exercises for certain handicaps just so those people can stay in shape.

What Guys Said 15

  • The obverse holds true as well. Why don't you find a lady who's overweight but treats you right and have a ton of fun?

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    • I would expect a lame joke from you

    • As would most people; however, this time I'm being serious. Most of the couples I see are fairly similar in the height-weight proportion department. Why does this not make sense?

    • It's sad that you'd consider having an overweight girlfriend a lame joke.

  • I have been over weight for the majority of my life, and while I'm improving on it. I would say my dating career has been pretty successful. It definitely weighs more on how you treat a girl. The thing about being over weight is it can show how you treat yourself which in turn might raise questions as to how you would eventually treat them and the relationship. I learned this the hard way which is what kinda woke me up to take care of myself first then worry about girls.

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    • I always put others before me regardless so I do treat people good even though I don't treat myself good

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    • Naw man it's not too hard. You just have to keep things in perspective and take baby steps. Look up Michael Kory Fitness on YouTube. He has awesome recipes for eating healthy that will mimic foods that you love. You can message me if you want and I'll point you in some directions that can help! But look at strong lifts 5x5 workout thats another good one that will be good and then look at something like C25k for the cardio. All of those start off pretty easy and then build you up. But this goes for all of life. What effort you put in is the results you will get out. So if you don't want to work to hard don't expect amazing things to happen but you will get results but put A LOT of work into something and you increase your chances of getting what you want. As I said you can message me and I'll tell you a few books and resources you can check out that can help!

    • Thank you. Really appreciate it.. I'll look into it

  • Sure. Its more important how he treats them.

    It's more important that my house prevent hypothermia in winter then that it have indoor plumbing, but that doesn't mean I'm buying a house without it.

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  • This is because people have to be attracted to someone before they'll date them, and overweight people usually aren't seen as attractive. Some might like big guys, but most don't and it's the same thing with big girls as well. How your partner treats you is important of course, but so is attraction. A relationship with someone you're not attracted to will simply never work out.

    If you're really this self-conscious about your weight then you need to focus on losing it rather than finding a girl that will deal with it. Whether it's setting aside a little bit of time for some exercise or just making sure you're eating right, most people have the power to lose weight. Besides finding a partner you'll probably increase your health, confidence, and overall well-being as well.

    Bottom line, you need both personality and attraction in a relationship.

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    • Also a woman who won't love you for who you are won't work either. That's worse

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    • I like women of different shapes

    • Well larger women will be much more likely to be tolerant of weight, so I'd aim for them as your chances are a lot better.

  • In my personal experience I've seen a lot more girls with bigger guys than guys with bigger girls. Actually I think I've never seen the latter.

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    • If I like myself then they'll like me

    • Well no I wouldn't say so, that's a really arbitrary reason why they would. Of course it helps, but I wouldn't say it means much. I mean they could definitely like you despite your weight, though, and some girls might possibly like the weight even but that's unlikely.

      And I personally don't understand why you'd like yourself being overweight, there's not an actual positive aspect to it. You'd have to dishonestly force yourself to. Like yeah you can like eating and not working out and feeling free from the restraints of society-imposed sensibilities (which clearly you aren't anyway), but the actual specific state of being overweight is undoubtedly negative. Someone giving an impression of good health is an intrinsic and natural aspect of attraction, and that's a fact.

  • Dude. You want the world to hand you a freebie. You need to grow up, slap a smile on the face, and stop looking for any sort of validation. It's ok to not be attracted to overweight people. But there are plenty who don't care about that, and you'd probably have a much better time if you pulled yourself together and don't give a damn about who is attracted to you. Do you honestly think you can force or guilt trip somebody into being attracted to you? I really hope you're not 30-35, because at that age you really should know better.

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    • Don't value your self worth with this kind of nonsense. You'll never attract anyone doing that. Be kind, unassuming, and compassionate to those around you. Don't be selfish. Then maybe somebody will come around and find you to be amazing.

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    • Dude. If you don't care about women... Why are you even asking this question? I wouldn't wish someone like you on the world's worst woman. Shape up, bro. You are literally the definition of ridiculous. Probably some 12 year old trolling this site. Sigh.

    • I'm not trolling. . I'm looking for help cuz In need a gf to fill the void my ex left

  • man I've seen lots of girls dating fat dudes. i was really fat before now just sort of burly, had plenty of girls hitting on me still, mind you i was always confident and handsome to boot :P let your personality shine bro

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    • That's confidence :)

    • i think women are more concerned about their weight than men are about theirs. were supposed to be ugly and hairy what not lol they gotta wear makeup, tweeze, shave everything, well they dont technically have to. but most do anyway

    • @kangaru2 what's confidence?

  • Fat isn't attractive, most women would rather be with a man who is in shape, not fat.

    And besides, being in shape is a lot healthier for life, too.

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  • Just like most guys don't like overweight girls. It's the reality.

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    • I've seen overweight girls that are very attractive with nice faces. . It's a preference dude

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    • I like overweight girls. . Who doesn't like curves

    • Then go after them...

  • Because of the media and evolution of fashion.

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    • Especially living in ca we have a stupid standard

  • Girls prob worry about their weight like you worry about you dick size id assume

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    • I don't worry about mine, do you worry about yours? Obviously cuz you brought it up

    • No i dont, i was making a comparison

    • Never worried about that

  • his health

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    • No its cuz they don't think it's attractive

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    • then you may be eating too much in general as well

    • other things have fat in them too, its just sweets are the "bad" kind of fat

  • Ok after having read all responses on both sides (insert no life joke here) I can honestly say I don't think that your weight is what's really holding you back. Granted, your weight may be a factor but not as big as your attitude. You have a very negative attitude. So I'm going to break it down here. Is it going to be nice? Probably not but here it is anyway.

    To address your original question I think it has to do with what fitness represents. A fit body represents hard work and dedication in addition to high self worth. Can you have those without being fit? Sure you can, easily. However a perfect stranger isn't going to know that just by looking at you. Also, Do not mix up fit and thin. Those aren't the same thing.

    Now then:
    Your focusing too much on what you think is holding you back: your disability, clubbed foot, 60 hour work week. When those things don't seem to me like the problem. The problem seems to be your unwillingness to put in the work.

    Want to know how to lose weight? Do the research instead of waiting for someone to teach you. It's not hard. I was well over 60 pounds overweight. I did it no problem. 45 minutes on Google and you'll have everything.

    Don't like the taste of healthy food? Learn to cook. It's not hard, cheaper than a daily Big Mac and doesn't take that much time.

    Can't afford a gym membership?
    That's fine. You don't need one.

    Can't get a girls phone number?
    Ok this one is actually a challenge. The secret? If what your doing now isn't working then change what your doing. Also approach more women. Does rejection suck? Hell yes it does but all guys go through it, even those Adonis types who have everything going for them.

    Also before you get into it with me like everyone else: I don't think I'm better than fat people and I'm not trying to be mean to you.

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    • Exercise is easier said than done

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    • I think your confused on what a troll actually is but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say your not one. I think I've got you almost figured out. You don't want to work out or diet. Seemingly no interest in changing your self destructive habits. Ok that's cool, your life live it how you want. But one thing confuses me. What are you looking for here? You say you want help but then argue and get defensive with anyone who says anything not falling into the line of "it's ok, your perfect, those girls are mean!" I'm seriously confused here. It's line your looking for a specific answer rather than honesty.

    • A troll is someone who goes on the Internet to cause trouble. . I'm 35 and too old for that.. I'm just a guy who wants female companionship that lead to marriage

  • People like to date people they are attracted to and being overweight is not attractive. This is not rocket surgery.

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  • both sides care about weight including my self

    i need a girl that is physically fit because of my lifestyle. I can't have a girl that enjoys staying home or doesn't do a lot of physical activities because we just won't get along.

    there is also the sex appeal, its much sexier when someone is toned or in shape vs either too skinny or too fat

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    • by the way actually Hyped_up_on_coffee is right, if you are someone who works out frequently your testosterone level tends to be higher along with improved blood circulation. These are important for sex (not saying better because its also genetics and how good you are with what you have)

      not trying to shame you in any way dude but there are a lot things that are to the benefit of someone in shape vs someone out of shape. If you want help getting in shape i dont mind helping you out :)

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