Was confronting him about this a bad idea?

I met a guy on a dating site. We've been talking for about 2 months now. We both admitted that we really like each other. We have met up before. We have lots in common, same career interests, our personalities and senses of humor are compatible, etc. He contacts me every single day and he always initiates it and we often talk for hours everyday.
Recently I noticed my email was full of emails from the dating site. I don't really go on there anymore so I decided to go on there and delete my account. When I went there, I saw that he has been online on the site. I felt a little bit sad about this, because I felt like if he really liked me, he wouldn't feel like going there that much. I'm new to online dating so maybe I'm just not used to how it works... but I felt a bit uncomfortable with this, even though we aren't official boyfriend and girlfriend.
I tried to just not say anything about it (I don't want to seem clingy or stalkerish) and we talked for a couple more days normally, and I didn't bring it up. But I still felt weird about how he still goes on the site and I couldn't bury the feeling. So finally, I ended up telling him that I saw that he still goes on there. I told him that seeing that made me feel like I could be being played/led on and I didn't like it. And I told him that I felt like he could be saying everything he says to me, to tons of other girls.
He didn't get upset or weirded out. He said that he understood and that he isn't a player. He said he does really like me, but didn't know what we are. And he said he would work hard to earn my trust.
I don't know if he's been on the site since then, because I deleted my account. But I'm worried that I shouldn't have confronted him about that, and I'm worried he might think I'm clingy now. Was it a good idea to bring that up?

Forgot to mention that since this has happened, he still contacts me everyday and he asked me on another date today. So I guess he's not too weirded out lol...


Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think you were wrong to confront him. It sounds like you expressed yourself in a mature way. Its not good to bottle up feelings and part of any relationship is just openly communicating so you understand each other and can work together on any issues there may be.
    Especially since this all started online, I think you are perfectly right to be cautious. Its the internet, you'd be foolish not to be careful and concerned.

    If I were you I would try to spend more time with him person and see how he acts and if this relationship is going somewhere. If it doesn't seem to progress or nothing changes in him, you'll have your answer.
    When it gets serious enough, have that talk and find out what exactly he wants out of this relationship you have. Also what exactly is he going to do to earn your trust? Did he say he'd delete his too? Or is he not looking for something serious? I think you really need to be on the same page.


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What Guys Said 2

  • You sound fine and he sounds like a respectable guy. You were right to confront him about it as it is a bit strange to get close to someone like that while they still go on the dating site you met on, and I'm sure he probably doesn't even go on it anymore. If anything you probably solidified your relationship to him so that he knows that you guys have potential.

    I really doubt he's a player since he'd be contacting you everyday for hours while balancing other girls, and that's quite a feat. Be happy that you confronted him and give him a chance. Don't be afraid to start to develop trust with him and give him the benefit of the doubt, as this fear can often kill relationships.

  • Man, dude got a game.


What Girls Said 2

  • If he is acting weird sense you confronted him then he might be weirded out but he didn't over react and was truthful about what he was feeling. If something is bothering you you had every right to talk to him about it. Communication is key to a good relationship. And if he gets upset with you you can explain that you really like him and you went on to delect your account and saw he had been on there.

  • It's a tricky one but you need to trust your instincts if you feel like he's done something wrong that makes you feel uncomfortable then he has and it shouldn't be tolerated.