On dating sites is it wrong to message guys out of your league?

Like I make around $30 000 a year so I want to know if it would be wrong for me to message somebody who makes $250 000 a year on a dating site? If it's not wrong why do I feel guilty about it?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Lol it's not about money. Hahahaha

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What Guys Said 4

  • It's probably because you're messaging him based on his income and you know that's considered "shallow" by a lot of people.

    I have faced this problem in other areas. Not claiming I am "all that" in the looks but as a guy who is physically fit me getting messaged by obese women is just ridiculous unless they state they are an active gym goer like me then it would be different. Or I'll see girls claiming they insist a guy lives on his own but when I last entered a relationship the girl was very interested in how I have an apartment yet she lived with her parents so it did make me curious.

    Oh and I personally don't think anyone who makes that kinda money is really going to put it on their dating profile. People usually keep income like that on the downlow unless they are famous in some way like owning a major company. So in this case what I would see happening is him luring you in some sort of trap to try and call you out for gold digging.

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  • There's no reason to feel guilty. Just go for it. Money is just money, you can lose and bring it back. You control the money not the other way around.

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  • Of course it's not wrong per se. Why do you feel guilty? Either you unjustly feel guilty, because you've been raised to believe that money is evil, as most people have. Or you justly feel guilty, because you want him only or primarily because of his money.

    By the way, the whole idea of leagues is stupid anyway, but if he is out of your league, it may be because of your looks (I don't know what you look like though), not because of your income, which is irrelevant for you as a woman. Remember men and women are different and have different priorities. I'm going to be politically incorrect and say that the number-one factor in determining a man's value to women is his wealth and the number-one factor in determining a woman's value to men is her looks.

    $250,000 is a very good income, and if he's still relatively young like you, it's going to go even higher as time goes on. In other words, he can afford to be very picky. So you need to stand out.

    Regardless of your looks, though, you can stand out by showing you have an amazing personality. Unfortunately, women these days are like the men in thinking that there are no real differences between men and women. They're wrong, of course, which is why many people have trouble. How many times have you heard a woman say, "I'm so funny. I can't understand why guys don't like me", or a man say, "I'm so nice. Why don't girls like me?" Anyway, there was an article I came across a while back with an amazing example of a really good dating profile by a woman. It just screamed, "I understand and value men!" I can't remember whether it was actually written by a woman or whether it was written by a man to help women understand what to write. If I find it again. I'll add it to this answer.

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  • Money means very little once you earn enough to survive. The fact you feel guilty means you're obviously looking for greener grass but you know deep down that happiness cannot be bought. You need to consider why you want someone earning that much. Gold digging tendencies come to mind.

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What Girls Said 3

  • not if you're above average looking/pretty

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  • Who cares guys love attention

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  • It's not wrong... but if you ONLY talk to guys who make a ton of money you're kind of superficial and also possibly doomed for finding true love.

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