What does it take for you to get serious with a girl?

Okay, so i have a dilemma. I'm a very attractive girl according to worldly views and based off friend, and stranger remarks. (Both face and hour glass figure). My personality is caring, sweet, cute, fun/funny, free spirited and open minded. I'm also respectful, honest, intelligent and ambitious.

My problem i think, is that I'm a sensitive and emotional person. I feel things very intensely. I can be very happy one moment, then incredibly sad and crying in my room the other.
The emotional part of me sometimes causes me to text too much when getting to know a guy in the dating phase, and to worry too much about what he may be thinking etc... It's hard for me to not get too into it too quickly as well...

So with that being said, given my character which I can not change (trust me I try so hard to hold back!), do you think if i meet a guy who truly likes me, that he would stick around anyway? Or does this type of behaviour scare guys off automatically and prevent them from seeing who I am? It just keeps happening lately, where I either attract a player (SO often), or that things are going great with a guy, then all of a sudden he decides he's still not over his ex and not ready for a relationship etc... It's starting to really attack my self esteem... Why does this keep happening to me? How could I prevent this from continuing to happen? I can't help but care and get excited about someone if I llike them... it's just part of who I am.

Any suggestions would be very appreciated.
Thanks! :)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • you attract these types of guys because you have low self esteem. everything you wrote screams "people pleaser" "i don't think im good enough". "I'm trying to prove im awesome? aren't I awesome? am I ok? im ok right?" I mean you seem insecure and that's partly why you aren't getting satisfactory relationships. there will always be players and guys who turn out to lose interest, but u can't take that personally. there is nothing u can do about it. just don't be thirsty over guys and stop letting them affect you so much mentally. put YOU as a priority above anything, not making sure some dude likes you. when u know you're the shit then men will automatically follow

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    • I never had this problem before... Just lately now that this has happened so much, now it's starting to make me doubt myself. But the "people pleaser" i can agree with. It's how I was raised so it's really hard for me to break out of that, even though i'm much better at it now. You made many good points though. Thanks, and well put. It won't be easy but I'll have to try and get to that point. Whats frustrating too, is when i try not to be a people pleaser than everyone gets mad at me and calls me stubborn and tells me i have to work on it and that its a problem. So then i have no idea what im suppose to do. Its so stupid

What Guys Said 10

  • Your doing nothing wrong, your being genuine, and real men really do like this, so don't try and change, just be true to yourself, and that guy you desire will come along eventually, because the reason these guys keep folding on you is because your to genuine, and they don't understand that, they have been shown to many fake personalities out there, but a guy worthy of you will turn up, and no he won't go anywhere, he will hang around wanting to know more and become a part of you, but you need to be yourself, and be confident that a guy will prove his worth to you, not you to him, x

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  • Being a sensitive and emotional isn't a problem, that's just you its a characteristic, you should not be sorry about it. You text a lot from a guy's stand point, most all girls do some more than others. My advise for that would be rather just calling because texts cannot convey the emotion behind certain word. If you feel like you are more sensitive and emotional then the next girl well guess what the guy will just have to deal with it if he really likes you and is serious about the relationship, he would have to be very temperamental that would a quality to look for in a guy for you. I think it will scare off most guys but you should see that as a good thing because they can't except you for who you are, when looking at negatives you should also see the positives because they go hand in hand. If a guy all of a sudden feels like he's not over his ex and feels like he's not ready for a relationship and tells you then I think that is fair he could have dragged it on. That only leaves more room for the next great guy that is around the corner who might actually want to be with you. Getting excited about a new fling/love/ or whatever is always good but don't get too carried away, these are still the first stages. The caring part unfortunately should be something that grows in-between you and your guy, not something that you just do after the first date, you don't really know the guy yet. I personally care just a little but not not to the extent I think too which you are referring to.

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  • Gees, that sound like you wrote about me. Everything from beginning to the end. I thought I was the only one that feels everything very intensely I know how you feel. When something is good its amazing but if not it hurts very deeply. You just have to try to ease up a little and slow down. I know that's easier said than done but you can do it. I'm sure you're beautiful inside and out or you wouldn't be asking questions to improve yourself. There's plenty of nice guys that would understand you. I certainly would. If he really likes you he will look past your imperfections (which to me that not an imperfection). Just tell the players to screw off. You're way too good for them. Hang in there :) a great guy will find you :) l

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  • Well, it's certainly harder to control how one feels than it is to control how one acts. You might feel like crying, but perhaps with some self discipline you could refrain from doing so. You might feel like texting, but perhaps you can train yourself to stop doing it? I know that can be difficult, and you are young (well, certainly by my standards), but I think you'll find it can be done. I respectfully disagree that character can't be changed. It might be very difficult, but it can be done. I believe the way to do this is to start acting less on feeling and impulse, then character will follow.

    By all means care and get excited about someone, but perhaps you could cultivate acting a bit more calm? As for this string of players and not-ready-for-a-relationship guys, if you feel it attacking your self esteem, remind yourself of the good qualities you listed before.

    Good luck and take care.

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  • well first you need a girl/woman/whatever, so that completely rules out step 2 for me. also find texting all the time to be sort of annoying. last girl that liked me didn't want to talk to me over the phone, only wanted to text, because she's shy. ANNOYING, as a result i stopped talking to her

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    • I always try to avoid texting, its when the guy avoids ohone calls or if we are too busy to talk on phone... Thats when the texts start comming in cause i got so much to say

    • id rather just talk if i have a lot to say, easier than thumbing into a keypad on a cell phone

    • Same here but some guys rather text and thats where the problem lies, cause texting is awful when you have lots to say

  • i have the same problem. i am a rugged man but my feelings for a woman come quick and bring me to my knees.

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  • For her to show interest in me. Next question

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  • hmmm... you seem like the sort of girl i would date, but ur probably just meeting the wrong type of guys. Try to find someone OUTSIDE of your race or an introvert over an extrovert.

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  • what it takes for me to get serious with a girl is. for the girl to be equally serious as i am with being together and belonging to each other, and she doesn't hold back her desires for me, basically a girl who is clingy/desperate as i am and doesn't have any second thoughts, good communication and initiation, plus she would be the one who asked me out and makes most or ALL the first moves and doesn't think everything is the guys job etc., my "ideal dream girl" basicly

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  • Well if he were me and you looked exactly like you do in your profile picture and you had extremely bad halitosis and we had good chemistry I would be able to pursue a long-term relationship and would not be scared away

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    • As for the bad breath I like that trait in girls that are pretty it's thier essence of beauty. And your personality seems kind of tempting

    • I think it would be a pleasure to date you

What Girls Said 1

  • your just meeting the wrong guys and i would learn from your past mistakes in dating and try finding a guy that you have more in common with and that is understanding and try becoming a stronger person by boosting up your confidence maybe being single and working on yourself first before getting into a relationship might help also staying busy gives you more to talk about in a relationship day wise and it will get your mind off of your significant other being busy all the time so you don't end up texting much or coming off anyway you don't wanna be known as but really find a guy that puts effort in doing things first like texting and wanting to do things not because you ask but because he wants to someone who accepts you for you no matter how your feeling

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