Does ethnicity play a huge role in attraction?

Like I know many girls have a "preference" for a white guy, but how come they don't want to get to know other guys?
In real life, girls get very friendly with me and talk a lot, but somewhat get uncomfortable when I ask them on a date.
So I tried the internet and Tinder. Guess what? Hardly any attention or responses. Barely anyone swipes right on me, and I just don't get it. Like... am I really that butt ugly?
Here's what I look like:
www.pof.com/viewprofile.aspx?profile_id=69936809
I do stuff like any other guy, but no one seems to be interested. Is it that I'm in the wrong country/city? Nothing makes sense to me and it's frustrating, hence I ask for your input here.

Updates:
PS, that description in my POF profile is just some short and succinct nonsense because I wanted to close my profile but POF didn't let me cut down my profile description to 2 lines where I just state that I'm closing my profile.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • well the thing is, most women (across all ethnicities, not just white women) have a "preference" for white men. Take a look at the good data collected by OkCupid. Even on GaG, there is a very clear trend

    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q964571-girls-how-many-of-you-have-a-preference-for-white-lighter-skinned

    I don't think i need to too deep into the reasons why this is the case, but in short, white men are seen as dating up, while darker guys are seen as dating down

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    • its not true for all women, but based on the trends, if you aren't white, you usually have to work a lot harder than white men equally as attractive as you are to build attraction

What Girls Said 30

  • It's probably due to the way the current societal social hierarchy is set up. It's really too bad, but white people are still (although in more subtle ways than in the past) considered superior, even though we aren't. Therefore people are conditioned into finding white people more attractive. If you think about the celebrities who are considered hot, most of them are white, even though people of colour are just as good looking. That being said, there are lots of people who no longer see race as a factor in dating, so don't lose hope! You're good looking and you'll find somebody for sure, so don't worry about it too much. Just try and be confident and if somebody rejects you because of your race, it's their problem, not yours. Remember, don't blame everything on race either, sometimes people just aren't attracted.

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  • I've seen that point raised many times, and I can tell you I do not. Personally I prefer Brazilian/tanned looking men, indian, mixed race etc. over white. But even then i am not really attracted to a particular race overall more than another. If a guy is good looking they are just good looking, doesn't matter where they are from.

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  • I'm opposite, I've had nothing but bad experiences with white guys. Majority are disrespectful jerks who often think they are masculint and real mans men, but they are just self obsessed pussies.

    Guys with culture are better because they usually have that respect there and I'm attracted to that.

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  • I prefer white guys cause I'm white myself and I find white guys more attractive. However, I can deal with a dark skinned guy if he is smart, tall is not wearing clOthes from the hood crap or talking with the in your face I'm black accent.

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  • For me, not at all. I've dated guys of all ethnicities. It's all personality for me, maybe thats why Tinder hasn't been working so well for ya? You're definitely not doing anything wrong, nor are you butt ugly! Just give it some time, the best things usually happen when you aren't looking!

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  • not to me.. an attractive guy is an attractive guy :). i have my own standards and the race of the guy is definitely not included. :)

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  • I like white guys best but other men who are more ethnic can also be fucking hot. Like for black guys I think Corbin Bleu, drake and Chris brown is hot even though he is a woman beater. Omar borkan al gala is really fucking hot I want him deported to my bedroom. I also like William levy who is Hispanic

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  • First I wanna start off by saying I think it does play a part at least a little in attraction. Some people have it in their head set that they are not attracted to certain races so even if they seen you and thouht you were attractive they would still be against it because of your race, not a lot of people but there's a few out there, there's also people who believe its wrong to ddate outside your race so yeah it does play a part. But to be honest I dont think thats your problem. First off guys on pof usually have trouble with finding women because there are a lot more men on that site then there is females so females are extra picky. You really need to be charming and unique to catch a girls eye on there and as for in person maybe you need to change youe approch cuz it sounds like the girls dont have any idea that you were interested in them you need to let them know your interested before hand before you even say date. Or you could not call it a date somtimes that word scares people because they arnt sure of they want it to be serious or not so you could say wanna go for coffee or wanna go for lunch probley have better luck. Lol good luck and take care

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  • You may be unfortunate regarding your race. That is something you can't change. Actually, you're not ugly at all and you're not that dark.
    But you can do other things to make yourself more attractive. Think about ways you can distinguish yourself from other guys.
    For instance, I read your profile and there's really nothing interesting in it. It's really hard to get a sense of your personality from what you've written. I actually have an online profile and if what a guy has to say on his profile is basically nothing, then I'll probably skip over him.

    "Looking for a laugh? For an adventurous partner in crime?
    I love the outdoors (esp bush, beach, sun and water!), experiencing diversity, being physically active.. and spontaneous mysterious nights out!"

    That is extremely generic and really doesn't tell me anything at all. So is most of the other stuff that you wrote.

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    • I tried revealing details about myself, and allowing them to read between the lines about my personality etc. in the past. However, I found that I was only wasting my time writing stuff most girls probably never read, as many don't even view my profile. My other mates write 2 sentences and get plenty of matches - very generic basic stuff like "hey.. i'm mitch.. i love hangin out with mates and catchin up for beers on the weekend. Join me". Many times, girls would be the first to make contact with them.
      But yes, I do wish there were more girls in Australia like you who would actually take their time to get to know a guy.

    • Yeah I don't know. You don't seem undesirable at all. Maybe you should give the online thing a break.

  • I feel like it all depends on how you were raised. I was raised in the south with the most racist people ever so when I was little I thought there was something wrong with people who weren't white. Obviously now I'm not like that I realize that those crazy hillbillies don't know what there talking about lol

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  • I think it's just human nature to be attracted to what's familiar. If you grew up around all whites, then you tend to be attracted to whites. Just like blacks tend to be attracted to blacks. That's not always the case, of course, but it's pretty common to "prefer" your own race over others. People like people they're similar to. That doesn't mean a white girl won't overlook that. It's very possible, especially with the world becoming such a melting pot. Or maybe you'll find another girl your race. Does it really matter? You'll find a girl someday that likes you for you, and race won't matter.

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    • Well I'm in Sydney which is VERY multicultural, yet girls seem to just blow me off. I'm not talking only about white girls - in fact, ethnic girls seem to want white guys more than white girls do.

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    • In Sydney, there are a few rich white families on the "Lower North Shore". Some rich Jewish families in the Eastern suburbs. That's it.
      I think for the current generation, it's actually Chinese and Indians that are becoming the educated and wealthy. Most of the whites I know from privileged families usually end up studying something at uni that doesn't really get them far in their careers. The exception seems to be cbildren of lawyers - they tend to stick with law or medicine.

    • I guess I don't know then. Without knowing you personally and seeing how girls act around you, I can't really say. But I wouldn't worry too much. How many people die alone? Not many. You'll find someone some day. The right girl just has to come along :)

  • You are very attractive. As much as things have gotten a lot better a lot of this generations parents can be racist. They may prefer a white guy so they won't upset their racist parents.

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  • on dating site any guys have it harder than girls, regardless of their ethnicity. Girls on dating site can be as picky as they want because they got the power to do so. You aren't ugly at all. I find you attractive but as I said there are so many guys who you need to compete with so its more challenging. About the ethnicity preference I think it can be true. Though I have preference for more than one ethnicity, I know some girls who only prefer to date ONE race that they prefer.

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  • Personally, it doesn't play a role. I'm a white female and am very much attracted to black guys as I am white. If girls aren't comfortable about dating you, I highly doubt it's due to your ethnicity.

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  • In most cases it does but it can also play on attraction and personality. Most guys I fall for are white. I'm Asian and I don't prefer Asian guys because it feels like I'm dating a brother haha I look for tall guys because it's hard to reach things when your tiny. I mainly go for white guys because the ones I meet are 5'9+ and super fit (a big plus since I run and work out a lot).

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    • Ha I'm Asian I used to not like Asian girls but now kind of like them. They do kind of remind you of family members it's weird.

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    • I'm Chinese XD- born in the U. S. (But I feel more loyal to China 8>) Philippine girls can be pretty. Anyway yep

    • I'm born in the U. S too haha well I'm-an Asian cheerleader! if rthat makes a difference lol

  • in terms of physical attraction looks matter, not race.

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  • Even though my parents would rather I date a guy the same color as me (white), I don't really go for white guys as often... I have a major weakness for Asian -Americans. It just depends on preference I guess...

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  • For me... yeah it does matter... It's not something I can really change... I'm just physically attracted to guys that are from a similar ethnicity as me... maybe because that's what I am familiar with.

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  • I don't know why, but I just have a hard time to be attracted to guys of other ethnic groups than caucasian. Maybe because I am caucasian. I don't know .

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  • See im the complete opposite. I dont like white guys. He has to be Abercrombie Model type for me to like him and I dont have a very good change with a guy like that, I prefer Spanish guys. Just my preference. I looked at your pictures and you're not ugly by any means, you're actually quite handsome, I think those girls are just fucktards. Are you showing interest right away when you talk to them? Or do they just think your friendly right away?

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    • Thanks! I seldom receive such compliments in my country lol.
      When I approach a girl, I make a remark about something on her profile or pictures, in a friendly way of course. I'm not the type that would go "oo mamma ur hawt n sexy".
      I guage if they're interested in me... if not, I drop it. If so, I try and escalate it.
      My approach has worked with girls outside of Australia, but I feel like a fish out of water here.

    • where are you?

    • I'm in Australia (Sydney)

  • Not to me, I find brown skinned guys the most attractive.

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  • My attraction changed over years..
    It is more of the culture that a person is in. I am not very much attracted to local guy because our culture is top conservative and I like a guy who can complement me

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  • It does for some people.

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  • I will admit that I am only into white guy's. Just how I am. I don't have anything against other Ethnic groups. I black, Asian , Mexican as my friend's. I was raised to never date outside my race.

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  • In all honesty, everyone is different, I've found. Everyone has their own personal preference. I've encountered several white girls who think black guys or Asian guys or what have you are cute, just as I've encountered girls who prefer to stay within their own race. It really is different for every person.

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  • For me, you have to be white. There's no 2 ways about it. You aren't ugly, but you aren't my type either.

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  • I dont think you are an ugly guy i think your dress sense is questionable though. You have really nice features and you look nice on your pics but take the one with red tee off! lol.

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  • To be completely honest, when I was younger I was more likely to date a guy who wasn't white, but people always frowned upon my relationships... especially because I am blonde, green eyed, very white, so they just expect me to find a certain type of white guy. I tried to just ignore what other people thought, but honestly it did bug me.

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  • I thought it did at first. Basically I was only attracted to Asian boys at a younger age (light skin, dark hair, chinky lol) but in my early teen years I got attracted to mexican guys and lost some interest in Asian guys. I never really looked into caucasian guys before till now (Im almost a legal adult) haha. I dont even care anymore. I did have preferences in the past of never going to be with a guy the same race as me (fiipino) but now that has kinda changed. I dont care uf a guy is mexican, guamanian, caucasian, filipino, or whatever. So long as Im attracted to him and he's attracted to me then Im all good haha

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    • But us Asian guys rock! Ok I'm dating myself.

    • Haha you guys can be a bit corny, but thats attractive lol

  • I wouldn't really call it a "preference". It just so happens that most of the guys I fall for are white. Most of the guys I fall for end up having light brown hair too- not because I choose them, that's just what I'm attracted to, I guess. I am not opposed to guys of other ethnicities, and in fact I have been attracted to black men before. just not as common as white men. I would totally be open to a guy of any race, but if we're judging on looks alone I typically am instantly attracted to average height white guys with light brown hair.

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What Guys Said 14

  • I know EXACTLY what you're going through, and you make perfect sense when you say that women have a preference for white men. It is a well known fact that in earlier times, dark-skinned people were considered inferior and their role was only to serve the fair-skinned people. Later there were several movements and reforms. and finally the dark-skinned people got equal rights. But that was only on paper, because even now people whose skin color is anything other than white are discriminated. The entire human population is kinda obsessed with 'white skin', and their brains are wired to consider ONLY fair-skinned people as 'attractive'. This is actually true for almost the entire human race, and not just for girls. Even guys of all ethnicity would prefer a white girl. I know it sounds shallow, but there's no way we can 'reprogram' people's brain, can we?

    As a brown skinned guy myself (I'm of Indian origin and I have chocolate colored, dusky skin), I've faced a lot of discrimination due to my skin color. Not only with respect to relationships, but in other aspects too. For example, I have attended quite a few job interviews where I realized that if I have to compete with fair-skinned people, I almost always get rejected even if I display more skills and talent than them. And regarding girls, the less said the better. Exactly same things which are happening to you. Them seem to be all friendly with me, praise me no end, say that I'm a great guy etc., but seem to become uneasy even if I just give a subtle hint that I'd like to ask them out. And like you, i too don't have any preference about their ethnicity, but like you said, women (and men) of ALL ethnicities seem to prefer a fair-skinned partner. So you see, ethnicity plays a huge role in 'everything', and not just attraction.

    If someone judges you based on skin color, its not worth wasting your time over them. Keep up hopes, because there ARE some genuine, open minded people in this world. Cheers!

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    • I believe you about the job situation. Here's a video where a recruiter concedes that Indians have it hard:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NPyRUIjXwo
      Fast forward to 8:00

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    • @desidoll
      Well... they also feel that Indian men don't maintain good hygiene. But these were not women whom I met online. In my case, you can see that my English is pretty good, I maintain good hygiene, keep myself well groomed, am an atheist, have never indulged in ANY act which seems even remotely pervert, I'm a bit submissive, I treat women with utmost respect, don't go around sleeping with random women, completely refrain from alcohol and smoking, and also a strict vegetarian (because I don't want to kill animals for food). And all these women actually KNEW everything about me. So obviously, its got more to do with my skin color, and not the stereotype. Besides, its the stupid media and the horrendous laws of the country which are responsible for projecting Indian men as evil perverts who rape and kill women. Nothing could be further from the truth. Its just that heinous crimes committed by women are often not reported by the media in such glorified ways, or not reported at all.

    • @Asker:Yes I said that just because I was 20 when I dated him and I didn't date many guys before him so I hardly make a comparison. Though I said he was the best guy, I never limit myself to just one race. After few years I dated one Chinese guy and two Muslim guys. Due to some reasons it didn't work well. Now I am seeing this Punjabi guy who is darker than me so no his skin colour has nothing to do with his attractiveness. Well at least for me. Not sure if other girls going to think the same way as I do.
      @Aficionado:In your case then I guess perhaps they don't find you attractive. I don't know how you look like so I can't judge. If Its true that they refuse to give you a chance because of your skin colour, just leave them. You don't want to get into a relationship with women like that. They are some women who will appreciate your uniqueness and the way you present yourself.

  • I have a "thing" for black women, but I find certain women of all ethnic backgrounds attractive.

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  • Would it be REALLY offensive if i said that women think white guys are DA BOMB in bed? But I really do think that white guys are handsome (hey, i'm Asian bro, i feel your pains). Just stay away from those kind of women who prefer white guys if you find it uncomfortable and unreasonable. They obviously have some prejudice and stereotypes (like a lot of other people), so just try to find the smart and intelligent girl who likes you for who you are... I mean, I would never date a girl who judges me by appearance, I would probably yell at my prospective employer if he did that!!

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  • Not trying to be an ass, but I can already tell you're pretty insecure. Maybe, it's not the way you look...

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  • hey come on now, it could b worse. At least you're not Asian and actually look ike a man. I could pull off a good female look fairly easily

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    • I see many Asian guys with Asian girls, but I do get the feeling that Asian girls see Asian guys as second to whites.
      Also, I do know of a Korean friend who looks very much like you but he hooked up with a highly educated, very beautiful white girl through their common interest of K-pop! This guy is certainly not what the west could consider to be an alpha male.

    • Well then sounds like there's hope for me yey. Im half white tho. I'm so Americanized its not even funny. I'm white at heart.

  • Well, it's going to have an impact. And online dating doesn't work for most guys, so don't worry about that.

    Also, playing the "not into one night stands, I only want sex in a relationship" thing doesn't help, ever. Women want men who are sexual and not afraid of it.

    And are you mainly going for white girls, or are you chatting with arab girls/hispanic/black girls as well?

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    • I have no real preference, I just look for chemistry and a sane mind. I've been attracted to girls of all races.

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    • this guy is a racist sexist pig! dont take advice from this fool cos girls will end up punching you if you do.

    • I love that there's a report button for offensive posts like that, and they'll ban you if there's enough offenses.

  • To some people it does, to others it doesn't. I prefer white girls. That doesn't make me racist any more than preferring blondes or brunettes does. The fact that I prefer women doesn't make me a homophobe does it?

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    • If you say you "prefer" women, you're implying that you're bisexual but are more inclined towards women - hence that wouldn't make you a homophobe any way.

  • Not for me. All races and ethnicities can potentially enjoy the RedThread ride.

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  • My testosterone works the opposite way. I can find any ethnicity attractive if I find that person attractive; however, there are certain Ethnicities I will NEVER find attractive.

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  • Tinder is geared toward younger girls. Most users are around 18-early 20s and they're looking for people in that young adult/late teen age range as well. You seem and look like a more mature dude. You should try real dating sites

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  • I'm attracted to some, not others. That doesn't mean I think no girl is attractive in those races but I gravitate towards certain races.

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  • Nope, I love (and lust after) ALL women.

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  • Not in attraction, i can think girls of other races are attractive - but no, I only date white. The girls i date, only date white. The easiest way for a white girl to get black-balled is to get Blackballed!

    The white on brown girls you normally see are just scuzzy! There are exceptions of course, but mostly you see a single white mom with a half black kid and everyone kinda lol's inside and dismisses it as normal. Hello action, meet consequence.

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