I'm 24, she's 22. She's very goal oriented. She's working out, when she's not at school working on becoming a teacher. She's a godly woman. Not like the Virgin Mary. She drinks, she cusses, & stuff. But she truly believes in the "God will decide when I'm ready." thing. I really like this girl. She knows it. She's all I ever think about. We've never actually hung out though. We text & occasionally talk on the phone. I always text or call first though. I've told her I'd wait till she was ever ready. She said she doesn't want me to wait, but I still do, cause it's what my heart wants. She's not completely over a guy (a friend of mine, he's a dick) she dated almost a year ago. She doesn't wanna be with him, but she's not over him. Though she wants to be. She prays to get over him. She just can't truly give herself to someone else unless she's over the other & I respect that. One day I bought her, her favorite flowers for no reason at all. When I bought them she liked them a lot, was very happy with them. The next day she text me basically talking about how she thought about it all night & she's still not ready & may never be & that she doesn't want me thinking we are dating & I might not be the person she dates when she's ready. That she feels pressured now. I made it clear after that, that I knew that & it was "just because." That next day I text her asking to start over & it went really well. We still talk. Hell, she's my date to 2 different friends of mine, weddings in a couple months, so we are great. I still really like her & care for her. I still text her & call her, even more so when I'm drunk. I never talk about sex or even think about it with her. I just really like her. All I think about is her when it comes to other women. Without trying. Even having sex with someone else, all I think about is if I should do this or not. Worried karma will get me. I don't know what I should do. I want to be with her but you can't force what's not meant to be. Help?
Most Helpful Girl
I hate to say it, but the more I read this and think about, I just don't think she's interested. She's using the other guy as an excuse, it seems likes; I know it can be hard to get over someone, but after a year you should at least be ready to date around. If she's knows you for awhile, too, it's not like she'd be jumping into something really new by dating you. She already knows you as a friend; you're not a stranger. So, she assumedly has already decided whether or not you're dating potential. Plus, it's one thing to "not be ready" but it's another to say she "may never be." The sounds like rejection to me : /
But, on the other hand, she could just be legitimately confused in what she wants. She's young and busy and likely overwhelmed. And she agreed to go to two weddings with you…if she really didn't want to be bothered by you, she wouldn't have agreed to that.
I'm going to suggest keeping things on friendly terms with her as you have been. No more buying flowers or surprising her with things "just because." No more talking about what could be. That's too much pressure. While you really aren't interested in dating other girls, don't totally shut yourself off to it. Otherwise, you'll put yourself in an unhealthy situation.0