Has he pulled away from me? any advice on how to act?

You know when you begin dating a guy and the first 2 dates you enjoy being with him but than he continues to want to meet, than you end up going on 5 dates, and by the 5 date you are so into him?

Well that happened to me, we went on 5 great dates, where he spendt the nights and we had a amazing connection etc, he even said he liked me.
Only problem: he doesn't live in my town and he comes whenever he has a conference with his political group.
After that one amazing date on Valentine's day where he did say he likes me and how it sucks that we get so little time together, he stopped contacting me so often, and he pulled away. I know he had a lot to do with school, and traveling, he traveles a lot .
But as a woman i began panicking thinking he didn't like me anymore, i began being needy. This weekend we were suppose to meet but after a week in another country with conference he did say he was unsure if he had time to see me, and when the weekend came he said sorry for not being able to see me due to his hectic schedual and he decided to stay at his mothers home with his siblings etc, and to work on some school assigment, his last exam.
I told him i understood and im sorry for being all needy, when i know he has a lot to do. I asked him "will there be a next time?" he replied "there will be :) just a lot going on right now :)"

Has he pulled away? any advice?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • ...:O this is so weird. I experienced a situation very similar to this. Let me share with you what would have given me the results I wanted. : )
    Firstly, you're going to have to accept that unfortunately, you cannot make this guy behave a certain way. At the end of the day, he is the master of his psyche and he's going to do whatever he wants to do. When you're not official, there's not a whole lot you can do in terms of getting the behavior out of him that you want. However, you can strategically influence his behavior.

    Secondly, you need to be 100% realistic about the timing and the nature of sequential events in both of your lives. The leading cause of relationships not elevating is bad timing. It sucks and no one really wants to accept it, but depending on the timing in your life, your connection may sincerely be futureless. : / This is something you need to find in yourself to be humble and accept completely. Don't blame yourself, tear yourself apart in terms of desirability, and beat yourself up for your actions. Just simply accept it and make peace with it if applicable.

    DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT BE NEEDY. You have to reserve the rights to be needy lol Needy behavior is off limits until you have earned the girlfriend title and you guys are exclusively in a relationship. Otherwise, 9/10 times, the guy will not be willing to put up with you being needy. Best way to avoid this is to occupy your time with fun, exciting things and keep yourself busy.

    So you feel he's pulled away? Well, just keep being charming, friendly, alluring and that's really all you can do. You can't make him do what you want, you can only influence his behavior with yours. Good luck!

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    • I know, i just had to know why he is being this way , and this weekend when he told me he had a lot going on than i was like okay its time to give him space, thats all i needed to know, to stop panicking. thanks for good advice :)

    • Show All
    • I think that you need to stop obsessing over it otherwise that behavior will push him away.

    • thanks for MH

What Guys Said 1

  • Have you slept with him a few times, 2 or 3 or more?

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    • well ye we had sex on our third date, but we continued going on dates etc

    • there are 2 ways to look at it, 1) Maybe he is really busy like you've said, and just doesn't have much time to see you
      2) A lot of guys will go on dates with girls, have sex a few times then back way off once the urge has been quelled for a while. Meaning they were in it for one thing.

    • im pretty sure its the nr 1, i spendt the night with him on our second date and all we did was to cuddle , and i told him i didn't want to have sex and he totally respected my decission

What Girls Said 1

  • Aw no don't worry. At first I thought, "maybe he is pulling away" until I read your last sentence. His last response is pretty clear that he's just really busy.

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    • Ye i think he really is busy, i mean wouldn't he just say im not interested if he wasn't? thinking that he does live far away he wouldn't have anything to lose by saying that :S

    • RIght, exactly.

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