Do you believe in the friend zone?

Cause I don't.
The friend zone to me is something some loser made up when frustrated by rejection.
Someone on tumblr put it very well:
"Girls aren't machines you put niceness coins into and get sex out of"

Also I was friends, like just friends, with a girl for 2.5 years or so before we started dating. So no, its not real.

  • Its real
    36% (5)82% (9)56% (14)Vote
  • Its not real
    57% (8)18% (2)40% (10)Vote
  • See results
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And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Whether its real but common, real but uncommon or 'fake' depends on how you define the friendzone.

    It is true that in the majority of platonic relationships the girl has no interest in the guy beyond being friends. In a minority of cases she does. Generally that status doesn't change... she's either always found him to have potential, or never.

    Its not a 100% rule. Sometimes she might grow to have feelings for him (though its rare), sometimes he just honestly changes and grows and becomes more attractive.

    And yes, it can work the other way. A guy can by showing no interest make a girl think he's not into her and this causes her to view him less as a potential romantic partner. she sees no 'chemistry'.

    but these are all less common situations.

    Generally she knew within a day of meeting him if he was a 'maybe' or a 'no' for more then friendship. But guys will indeed spend months or years having a crush on a friend without knowing if there's any potential or not.

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    • Yeah. Much easier to just ask her out and find out right away.

What Girls Said 9

  • It's a VERY annoying concept and term. I found a great article on the subject and had bookmarked it. Check it out - "thought catalog, stop complaining about getting friend zoned "
    thoughtcatalog.com/.../

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    • That was a great read, thank you.
      Reminds me of when the chick from Clueless gets realizes that the hot guy is gay and just accepts it, no bullshit.

  • The way most people think of the friendzone-no it's not real. But I think that 'friendzone' is just the name that was given to a certain situation. Do I think that there are guys I'm friends with who I would never consider dating? Yes. But this isn't bc I put them in some kind of zone from which they'll never escape. It's bc I know what I want and I know who I'm attracted to and if they aren't what I want then I'm not going to pretend that a relationship will work with them. We're friends and if that's not good enough and they want to complain to me that I 'friendzoned' them, then they obviously don't know me very well and are selfish friends. If a guy is only friends with me because he thinks that one day I'll 'see the light' and fall in love with him then he has an ulterior motive and isn't really a good friend.

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  • Well, I kinda friendzoned a guy once, but later it turned out he was gay haha.
    So yeah, like the most useless friendzone ever :P
    (I answered real though)

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    • You didn't friendzone him, you just decided you didn't want to be with him romantically.

  • I don't enthrall myself into these terms like "friend zone" which was obviously made up like you said. Reason being I think its a false term is because I don't go out of my way to be friends with a guy. I don't think most girls do. Its just pointless.

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  • Since I don't believe in relationships I either believe that there is simply just a friend zone and a sexy friend zone

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  • It is real.
    You have to show your feelings in a way even if it's simple from the start but most people are friends before dating but when you get in the friendzone you have to do some magically stuff to get out.
    It's like a permant position unless you do something so special to get promoted or even noticed.

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  • "
    Cause I don't.
    The friend zone to me is something some loser made up when frustrated by rejection.
    Someone on tumblr put it very well:
    "Girls aren't machines you put niceness coins into and get sex out of""
    Exactly. If you can't respect her friendship, then don't deserve to be her lover.

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    • I was expecting you to call me a moron when I saw the quotation marks haha (that's usually what comes after quotation marks)
      I'm glad you agree

  • that just means you can get out of the friendzone. and i think most people are friends first before they start dating anyways...

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    • No, it means there was no friendzone to be in in the first place.
      And no, not always.

    • Show All
    • And what would you call people who go on a date and they don't know each other before that? Boyfriend and girlfriend? They would be classified as just friends. If a guy asked me out and I didn't know him at all and we went on a date, I wouldn't tell my friends I just found a boyfriend. He becomes a friend first, clearly.

    • No, once you go on a date you're already more than friends. There isn't just friends and partners, there's an inbetween too.

  • It's real but usually it's because the person didn't show their feelings early on

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    • How would you define it?

    • Basically unrequited love. The other person just isn't attracted in a physical or sexual way

What Guys Said 8

  • The friend zone exists - it's just another name for unrequited feelings (it's quicker and easier to say "friend-zone"). One person asks the other out, they say "I don't like you in that way, let's just be friends" and that's all it is.

    People like yourself and the people like you quoted from tumblr just read way too much into it. They come up with all kinds of ideas like "they feel entitled to sex because they're nice" - while I'm sure that's true for a few, I don't think most of the people who use the term "friend-zone" think that way.

    The fact that you were friends with a girl for 2 and a half yours before dating her doesn't mean that the "friend-zone" doesn't exist. I've done it. Usually in these cases both people find each other at least a little bit attractive, but for some reason never end up together. In the "friend-zone", one person likes the other, the other doesn't like them.

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    • Most of the time someone is talking about it, its not someone just saying, "well she just doesn't like me like that I guess", Its someone saying something more like "that bitch wasted my time, I was nice to her and everything, and she just wanted to be friends the whole time"

      Sure, not all people use it in the negative way, but the people that think of it the way I and all these girls do hear it as the negative way.
      It'd be better if we all just said "they just want to be friends", at the very least to avoid misunderstandings.

    • Really? From what I've seen it's the opposite.

  • It's VERY real. I lived in it quite a time, way longer than I wanted (and I pushed some girls in it too)

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  • I know it's real. You're the only guy I've ever heard of who doesn't believe in it. I've been in it. I've put people in it. It's there. Like your quote, it's just as unrealistic to think you can make someone like you in any way. Saying you think it's a term for losers is just ignorant and makes you seem entitled.

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  • nope, screw friend zone if it even exists, i am never going to find me in that trap

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  • it's real. I've been friendzoned (I liked a girl, she liked me plenty as a friend but had no interest, including the cliche of how she then would go hookup with "assholes" according to her.) and I've friendzoned girls. (girls that I was fine being friends with, but they liked me and wanted me to ask them out, but I had no interest.)

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  • I think people use "the friend zone" as an excuse for for making a move and seeing what's there

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  • 'Friend-zone' is just a situation where someone views someone as a friend only; so of course it exists.

    But, is it true that, if a guy acts like a female friend who just happens to have a penis, girls won't find him sexually attractive? Generally yes. Unfortunately, people these days are raised to believe that gender is just a social construct and that the sexes are really just the same. When people are told this, women assume that men think like women (hence the women who say, "I have such a great career and I'm so funny. Why don't guys like me?") and men assume that women think like men (hence the men who say, "I'm so nice. Why don't girls like me?"). It's quite simple really. Stop lying to children and teens, and this current widespread obsession with the friend-zone will disappear, because this obsession is based on nothing more than a fundamental misunderstanding between the sexes caused by political correctness.

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    • What do you mean by "gender is just a social construct"?

  • Just because your understanding of it is different to virtually everyone elses, doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It just means that the thing that YOU think of as the friend zone, doesn't exist.

    You probably think situations like this one, don't exist in the real world...
    www.theonion.com/.../

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    • You're giving an example of a girl that's kind of a sociopath. So its invalid, seeing as how most girls aren't like that at all.

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