I think I am going to be meeting an ARAB girl's parents tomorrow night... any advice?

[therealaccount21]

There's an Arab girl I like and it's obvious she is interested too. We were texting today and she asked me if I was going to this event tomorrow... I told her I wasn't sure. She then informed me that her mother was going to be there and that I should "try to come" - that was one train of thought, so it was pretty obvious what was being implied. She has told her mother about me already in the past. It's kind of a cultural thing for me to meet/win over her parents before any "dating".

My questions are: is that what she meant, AND any advice?

[witzelsucht]

This experience will open your mind. You've already met her mother and your potential girlfriend has been open to furthering the friendship. Since she is at uni, I assume she speaks good English . Paramount in your interaction with her should be communication! Ask her opinion on every seemingly insignificant gesture you make and explain yourself in great detail. Be hyperaware of her facial gestures, looking for any sign of discomfiture or alarm on her part and, of course, ask her about any possible problem. There are many small moves Westerners make that would enrage an immigrant who has not gone through the culture shock. For example, some places you don't touch another's head (or never touch another's body), point with your fingers, expose your left hand (figure that one out), show the soles of your feet, or even touch a woman in public. In the beginning you must continually ask questions to learn about her cultural outlook that you won't find written in books. Since she has been here 2 years she may be over the culture shock thing and has become eager to learn more. She is likely thrilled to have you as a friend, but if you want to go further you must constantly clarify where you stand in relation to her. You must ask her what behavior may be expected of you when meeting others of her ethnicity (but most immigrants in the West over a year are hip to social etiquette). Since you are an educated person with an open mind you should have no problem if you communicate and avoid any misunderstanding.

[Distant]

She wants you to make it and meet her mother. I, personally, would try to go and be as open-minded and accepting to their culture as much as possible. If her parents are going to be okay with you, it's much more likely to be because you're being respectful of their culture rather than trying to Westernize their daughter.

[Ildskf]

Well...you could just go for it...I'm Arab and have been in a relationship with my non-Arab BF for almost 2 years...I've hid it from my family...it's been working out so far, but I'm going to have to tell them cause we want to get married...

So, you never know, something could come of it...but it most likely won't be easy because dating is looked down upon as well as physical contact between a man and woman...they shouldn't even be alone together...If she doesn't have her family around she may be more open to it because her reputation can still be in tact...

Yeah..my BF didn't know how to approach kissing me either...we had been going out for a month and a half..he hadn't done it so the day we became "official" I told him he could kiss me now...was very awkward because I'd never kissed before...

My best advice is to just go for it...invite her out for coffee...then keep asking her out...and see how things develop...make it really casual to ease her into it...then if things go well let her know how you feel. I suggest not to try and kiss her right away...maybe start off with hugging.

I could tell you all of the things I did, but she is an entirely different person, so the same techniques may not work...plus I was born in the US.

[NoMoreDreams]

Honestly you need to ask her what she is exactly comfortable with. It may seem weird and up front, but if you really like her then you got to take it at her speed. Once you ask her out and she says yes then you take baby steps. Such as just hold hands and giving hugs. Once you feel she is very comfortable with it and will even initiate it then you can do more little things. I hope that helps.

[meemo]

Yep she is trying to win you the approval and acceptance of her parents which means she really likes you. Try not to be judgmental and keep an open mind to their culture and you'll be fine.
Good luck :)

[Cheeseburgers]

No. It's best to stick to your own kind.

Contrary to popular belief, opposites do "not" attract.

Sure, there's a small probability it can work out. Give it a shot.

Albeit, chances are your differences will outweigh whatever you have going at the moment.

[Cheeseburgers]

Asker: Romeo and Juliet is a fairytale for a reason. Canada has diversity, so even if your family opposes her for being Arab, they 'might' accept her eventually.

Conversely, her family will "not" approve of you, and harmony amongst her family is important to her.

Same with neveryoumind. She may be attracted to different races, but God knows what will happen if she brought home a Black or a Mexican.

Ergo, a short thing may happen, but their families won't accept you as they prefer their own kind.

[neveryoumind]

who cares about the family this is about me and the guy in question.

[Cheeseburgers]

You might be courageous enough to stand against your family in the name of love, it certainly happens. Although, I'm just going off of probability. Since I don't know 'her' personally, I can only go off of that.

If I were to make a "probability pyramid", it would go like this:

1) Most people stick to their own race.
2) Most would overlook racial differences for wealth.
3) Partner Caucasian.

If he's none of those, I just think odds are it won't work.

[Cheeseburgers]

Probability hierarchy* smh

[neveryoumind]

i have never heard of this before and i hope there's a lot of people like that doesn't care for it either. Nothing should get in the way of love.

[Cheeseburgers]

I agree, I wish that were more common.

[bdpayne3]

Just talk to her about her views on dating. The Best way to find outbid through communication. But just know sex before marriage is not a option, and make sure she knows you know that.

[jacquesvol]

She wants to make it official. Until they're 18, Arab girls are expected to ignore the existence of boys. Once they get 18, their family can't wait to see them married.

NB Her family will expect you to convert to Islam, of course.

[zombiebabe]

yeah its a cultural thing..i'ts a way to make a relationship official...its a good sign since she wants to introduce you to her family..

[neisch]

asking them is best. it may take a lot of effort but if they are the one thenno effort is too much.

[neveryoumind]

The right thing to do is to be open with her. Tell her how u feel.

[COCOCHANEL]

yes if she asked you to come to an event where her mom will be it means that she wants you to meet and make a good impression. be courteous and act decent. when in doubt stay quiet.

[chocolateismylover]

I swear you ask the same freaking questions all the time. Do you not realize how annoying it is?