So how come girls get to hide behind the 'im afraid of rejection' excuse but guys can't?

When it comes to approaching both girls and guys will say 'i fear rejection.' the difference is guys are told to 'man up' and don't use that as an excuse... well why aren't girls taking that advice too?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • i don't approach men because I don't care if I'm dating someone or not. I am not constantly looking for a guy to hook up with, so i don't constantly hit on guys. If someone shows interest in me, great! if not, i'm not torn up about it. in my case, i don't take that advice because I don't care enough to approach men. If you care about finding someone to sleep with/date all the time, then the onus is on you to go about doing that (guy or girl). if you're asking why guys are the ones traditionally expected to make the first move, i find that question pointless. either way, it's unlikely to change soon. you might as well ask why men have a penis and women have a vagina. that's just the way it is.

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    • this makes a lot of sense

    • except having a penis and vagina are physical things not social norms that can and should be destroyed.

    • good luck destroying the social norm. i still don't see it happening. men and women have different struggles in life. rage against the system if you want, it probably won't bring you happiness.

What Girls Said 7

  • So how come girls get to hide behind the 'im afraid of rejection' excuse but guys can't?
    Guys can hide behind the excuse as well as I've known/heard plenty of guys say such.

    well why aren't girls taking that advice too?
    Gals likely aren't taking that advice as it seems the general dating model is that gals get approached and guys approach so gals seemingly do not really have a reason to approach.

    "When it comes to approaching both girls and guys will say 'i fear rejection.' the difference is guys are told to 'man up' and don't use that as an excuse"
    In regards to responses to the excuses in my experiences it's not as if gals excuse are dismissed/accepted as gals get told to 'woman up' and it seems the general response is that if gals don't approach then they just want equality when it suits them (though in my opinion approaching isn't a matter of equality).

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  • I think it's because of society's corrupted view on how a man should act compared to a women. Society tells girls they need to be delicate and girly while guys are told they need to be manly and strong. T.v., movies, and books have all distorted people's opinions on how everyone should act according to the "status quo." Men shouldn't fear because they need to be strong... People are too blind to realize how corrupt society has made their views on things... I think it's perfectly normal for both guys and girls to fear rejection. There is nothing "unmanly" about it either. It is just being human.

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  • Both are afraid of rejection, its okay.But both should be brave enough to take chances, make themselves happy.Sometimes being happy is a risk in itself, though...Some believe guys should make the first move, and that girls should simply be receptive.I believe otherwise.You should usually take the future in your own hands.

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  • I tell everyone to grow up when they say they're afraid of rejection, girl or guy. Rejection is scary but I think everyone should at least try to get over it. Not just guys. It's dumb to tell guys to man up and excuse a girl for acting the same way.

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  • Because the world is full of stupid double standards.

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  • I think it is more about our genetic codes and social roles. Society thinks it is man's job to make the first move. But, i made a lot of first moves as a young woman :D It is not a boy/girl thing, it is about your personality.

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  • Because guys pretend to be braver so therfore they must never be un-brave.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Because they want to be "equal" meaning all the benefits without the responsibility of asking a guy out or paying for his food.

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    • i pay on dates all the time. generalizations are called generalizations for a reason.

    • "i don't approach men" and yet you fit right in. I'm talking about approaching a guy, asking him out THEN proceeding to buy his and your meals.

  • Cause people never practice what they preach.

    It's a fact of life, people are weak.

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  • Because the world ain't fair unfortunately

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  • I assume its because it hits their self esteem harder than ours. And i mean you were born with balls, earn them and approach girls that you want.

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  • Because all guys start off feeling that fear, and 99.99% of guys get past it by manning the fuck up.

    So what advice do you think is appropriate for guys? To do exactly the same thing which worked for guys. Man the fuck up and just do it already.

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