Why I´m not beign considered to be a girlfriend material?

My problem is that nobody wants me to be his girlfriend, guys want me to be friends with benefits or just a one night stand.

I have university degree, I have my own place to live and I´m being told often to be a beautiful woman. I like to help other people, I love to be with my friends, I think I have a kind personality. I had only one long term relatioship, but after 5 months after break-up I started dating. All together, I slept only with 4 guys - my ex and 3 other guys I was dating after the break-up. I have never cheated. I´m so disappointed when guys are telling me things that they feel strong attraction for me and even propose to have a casual sex with me. Once even happened to me that guy pursued me for a relationship and while we were having sex (he was still inside me) he told me that firstly he was looking for a relationship, but now he just wanted to have sex (day after he was texting me how sex was wonderful and wants to do it again - I cried whole day after).

What may be wrong with me? Why I´m not lovable?

Updates:
I´m also being forced to have sex. Last time guy was really pushy and finally we had sex. I know he liked me previously and then left in the morning annd followed up only with a courtesy text. I
Some of you asked me if I´m having sex with those guys too soon. Yes I was. I broke up with my ex after a very long relationship and honestly, I don´t have any experience. All these guys were very persuasive and I simply was not able to say no.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • R u asking them this
    Don't be pushy or start talking relationship too early it'll scare em off make em think u ball breaker or needy
    Try not bringing it up for a bit but don't have sex and talk about relationship unless u want him to lie or run out the door
    Men are retardedly simple to wk out
    Food We love eating
    Sexy time. We love sexy time
    And beer we love that too
    But if we thinking bout sexy time don't talk about feelings and touchy feelly stuff cos all blood trying to get sexy time not in brain for thinking this happens with willie now
    Two things can happen
    1 he'll agree to anything or say what ever you want to hear
    2 it's not sexy time mood anymore cos crazy town in you brain
    Men most honest after sexy time
    Make him want to hang out with you cos u have fun
    Not have fun sex with you
    If sexy time happen first time u never girlfriend u friend for sexy time fun
    Nothing wrong with u and u sound loveable
    Just looking too hard equal desperate or baggage
    I met my wife at a rave when I didn't want a relationship other than a physical one
    Nearly 12 years later two daughters and married for nearly five years

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What Guys Said 9

  • There is nothing wrong with you. In the future, make the guy wait, if he sticks around then that is a good sign that he is wanting a relationship and not just too hook up. Don't wait just a few weeks or a month, that is too easy, make him wait awhile. My ex did that to me, and the amount of respect I had for her making me wait (although at times I hated it) was insane, it made for the best relationship I ever had

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  • You're probably a gorgeous bombshell which might cloud the guys' brains :)

    Just try to develop the relationship part to a certain degree before having sex or establish a three month rule ( a long time but hey desperate times)

    Just don't give up please :)

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    • I´m not sure if I´m a bombshell, but I get compliments. The last one pursued me, then we had sex (wasn´t even that good, happened too quickly) and started to distance himself. After a month, he is flirting with me again, he likes to show on public that he knows me. But never asks me out. I like this guy and would like to get him to know me better and to show him that I´m a good and sensitive person.

  • from what Im reading, it sounds like you are falling into the wrong group. You need to find the right person, and listen to what your heart and mind say!

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  • its not even about giving yourself anyway to soon its the fact that men and women are hurt so they dont trust each other, so no one wants a serious relationship because there hurt also its because men dont understand women to well and women dont understand men

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  • Either they're is something you need to fix, or the kind of guys you're attracted to aren't looking to settle down.

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    • One of these guys decided to get back to his ex GF. Now he is happy with her, so he was a relationship material. All of them are telling me I´m smart, pretty a kind. the thing might be that I´m "very alive", I like to make jokes, so I´m little bit loud, so sometimes I´m thinking if this might be a problem.. but I can´t change my personality, smiling and laughing is what defines me.

  • There's nothing wrong with you, you just haven't met the right guy who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

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  • You will find someone who's deserving of you. . Don't sell yourself short. . I'm in the same boat as you

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  • If you want a boyfriend, you shouldn't be having sex outside of a relationship. You are the type of girl guys want to f--k, not the type they want a relationship with because you are easy.

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  • There's nothing wrong with you. But do you think you maybe having sex with these guys too soon?

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What Girls Said 3

  • Dont give yourself away too soon! All the guys I've known who wanted a relationship would pressure me for sex too and I would always say no. But because they liked me they stuck around and had a lot of respect for me because they realized they had to earn it. Sex has value and if u give it away just cuz they are horny they see that you dont value yourself very much and don't see you as relationship material because you gave away that most desired part of a relationship away before the relationship has even become secure and they have earned you with their love and loyalty and commitment. I can't say if that's your problem or not cuz I dont know you but when a guy says stuff like that, all the times I've seen it it is cuz the girl gave herself away too soon or to easily. Cheer up! <3 You will find someone who will love you, just focus on the emotional intimacy and affection and romantic, friendship bonding. That's what makes a guy attached to you and want to be in a relationship with u and commit to you. I'm sure you are a wonderful person! Just hold out for the right guy

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  • It's not YOU, it's THEM. But please stop giving yourself away in any way that's too soon or too easy, because this is why men most men (I know, hypocrites) assume you're not girlfriend material.

    These are double-standards and unfair, but make a man really prove over time that he wants more. Men will say ANYTHING (most) to get inside our pants, and we have to smart enough to weed out the liars. Make then earn your trust over time, be your friend, become emotionally close to you.

    If you don't allow sex too fast, have other standards, and a guy sticks around anyway, it's a good indicator he's not just looking for a girl in that moment.

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  • You are wonderful.. do not doubt that for a second. All the guys you've met though are a slightly mentally retarded.. it's not your fault.. sometimes it happens that way. Keep doing your thing!

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