The girl I'm seeing asked for my patience and to slow things down...can I feel comfortable taking that as a positive and at face value?

I've been seeing a girl for 2 months and it's been essentially perfect. Then she went on vacation a couple weeks ago with a girlfriend. All was fine the day she arrived. I messaged her a couple days later and got a quick, but VERY short response. She did text me right away when she got home, and we already had plans to see each other. She cooked dinner for us, got me a souvenir from her trip, and we watched "our show." She wasn't quite as affectionate, but everything else was normal.

After dinner she said her feelings aren't as strong as mine, and she isn’t ready to take things to the next level yet. She asked me to be patient with her...but also couldn’t promise anything. Understandable; that’s dating. She said "let's just take things slow and keep getting to know each other better." It was a positive and productive talk. She said it felt really good to get that off her chest, and then everything was much better. We cuddled on the couch, and I spent the night. No sex on purpose, but she both fell asleep and woke up in my arms and was affectionate and sweet.

Sorry for the long but necessary back story! I'm sure she's looking to date other people which is an ego bruise, but she should work through this however she needs to. She didn't end our situation when the opportunity was there. Also, to give her space I didn't contact her over the weekend, and it took her less than 48 hours to reach out to me again. That would suggest she misses me a little, right? Can I take her at her word about this? It doesn't feel like she wants out. I'm a little confused as her words and actions don't completely match. Would love to hear everyone's perspective!

Updates:
I can still ask to take her out, though, right? I'm all for giving her space...less contact overall, not spending as much time together. But that said we're still dating and I don't think it's the girl's job to ask ME out!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you should take her word on this. She does seem like she is being very affectionate and caring toward you. I think the only reason she wasn't as affectionate when she came back was due to the fact that she was thinking about how she wanted to tell you about what she was feeling. I think giving her space like you have and letting her come to you is a good thing.

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    • I can still ask to take her out, though, right? I'm all for giving her space...less contact overall, not spending as much time together. But that said we're still dating and I don't think it's the girl's job to ask ME out!

    • Show All
    • Oh man. I'm so sorry :(

      It sounds like she isn't ready to be in a relationship and needs to work on those things instead. It's better she ended things for your sake because you would have ended up carrying her emotional baggage for her, which is never good.

      Make sure you allow yourself the time to move on, whether it be a couple days or weeks. Just remember, you will be one step closer to finding your one and only. Take care and keep your head up!

    • Thank you for the kind words :) Yeah, it's usually for the best and a blessing in disguise when something ends. I'm going to miss her for sure, but clearly I wasn't as perfect for her as she told me a few weeks in. That was a mini red flag, for example. She went from that to "I need some space" in about 2 weeks!

      Anyway, as you said I'm going to take some time to recharge. Obviously it's hard to think this right away, but I know something and someone better will come along soon :) You take care as well!

What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • that's bad, i've been screwed over after a girl went away for a trip. remember, with women, the medium *is* the message. the message here she's giving you is back the fuck off, she's not into you much.

    look, continue dating her if you like, but be careful with how much attention you give her. try giving her about 2/3's as much attention as she gives you--like, if you texts you a long message, text a short one. don't text her much, and try to avoid initiating.

    and find another girl to date, or at least lie and give her the impression you're out looking.

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