What do you think about a guy who dates multiple girls at once, assuming he is honest with all girls about it?

Would it bother you? Would it make you want him more? less? Try harder? Not try at all? Would you think he's a player? Not capable of love? Commitment issues? Would you respect that? Would you think it is honorable? Sleazy? Anything?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • LOL! Well I've only found out recently that to my surprise, I don't care/ it doesn't bother me.
    It doesn't really effect how badly I "want" him, personality does that more for me. I think it's honourable to know yourself well enough to be comfortable in dating multiple people and being honest with them all, sleazy to me would be if he was using them all for sex and not actually respecting them as people and understanding them as an independent human being - then again I put value into knowing/respecting/trusting the people I have sex with and am not big on fucking and never talking again - not big on being used or using people. - but thats besides the point!
    I'd assume at first that he's a player, not capable of love and has commitment issues before further explanation but wouldn't immediately shut him down. I'm pretty open minded and generally curious so with further explanation (which I'd ask for), depending on his personality, I'd make judgements from there.

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    • Technically he's not playing anyone by being honest with all of the girls, this is probably the most "equal opportunistic" type of way a guy could date, giving all his girls the chance to form an opinion and make a decision rather than just not telling them and still dating around.
      As someone who has typically been monogamous, there's something more intimate in knowing that the two of you are devoting your time to only each other, but at the same time it REALLY depends on what this guy is like, as with all sorts of relationships.
      Everyone's obviously different and has different insecurities which I think plays a large part in how you'd react to this kind of guy since dating multiple people typically isn't the social norm and most people would probably be pretty offended thinking they aren't good enough - but this could be affected through conversation.

What Girls Said 12

  • If he's honest it's okay. If a guy told me he was dating other girls, I'd just break it off with him. I would appreciate the honesty though.

    ---I assume the girls who stay with him after he's informed them of this are the ones who are also okay with this (and maybe date around too).

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  • It wouldn't bother me in the beginning, but I'd expect him to decide which girl he wants a couple of dates in. I don't want to seriously date a guy who's juggling.

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  • Morally there is nothing wrong and I'd just think he's young and enjoying himself. However, I'd be put off and no longer interested. I don't care to compete for a guys attention and I guess my ego wants a guy to be into only me.

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  • It'd be fine, but that wouldn't last too long.He'd have to make a decision at some point, and probably sooner than later.Mostly that's because a girl doesn't want to invest too much time into a guy when things aren't going anywhere

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    • So you would never consider a poly-amorous relationship? Even if he wanted you as a primary?

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    • I'm loving the range of answers here :)

    • Yes, there's a large range.Just be prepared to have to choose at some point, hopefully it won't be a surprise :p

  • Yes it would bother me, it would make me want him less, I wouldn't try at all, yes I would think he is a player, no I wouldn't respect him, yes sleazy ++++

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    • Very interesting coming from a femme fatale!

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    • I see... Well if a girl will allow herself to be a doormat I probably would have no interest in her to begin with. I like confident women, with prowess, intelligence, high self-esteem, basically femme fatale... That is why I said interesting. Also, I encourage the girls I date to see other guys too. So I don't think they are "putting up" with anything. Thank you for your input though, means a lot to me!

    • A woman with high self esteem probably wouldn't want to be one of the many so to speak. I wouldn't want to play second fiddle to another woman, I have dealt with players in the past and once I see the tired old games I'm out of there. Especially if they try and play me off against another woman, this makes me think they have a very low opinion of women in general and it sends me running for the door.

  • Dating...as in going on dates with different girls or like multiple girlfriends/boyfriends? If they went on dates with a few other people, I wouldn't care because chances are...I'd also be going on dates with other people. I don't think people can claim anything until they actually have a commitment. Y e a h.

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    • Right now I don't consider any of the girls I am dating my girlfriends, and I never have considered more than one person my girlfriend. But still everything was communicated with eachother, and she, of course, was allowed and encouraged to go on dates with other guys too.

  • I wouldn't want to date him if I know beforehand

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  • I lost interest in a guy when I found he just cruises for any and all cute girls and dates them.not worth my time

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  • Sorry to say that , but he is a jerk !!

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    • Lol, I can be a Jerk... I don't think that is why though. Can you elaborate?

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    • Sorry pal to say that l, but when are dating more than girl without their knowledge that consider as cheating. When they find out , they will be frustrated. My advice choose one of them , and choose quickly.

    • English must not be your first language... I explicitly said "Assuming he is honest with all the girls," anyway, thank you for your input. I do not believe in choosing one, so I will not. Hopefully the girls I am dating can respect that and I would encourage them to date other guys too :) Thanks again.

  • it depends on his status. rock musicians, for example are known for this behavior and it's accepted.

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  • He's going to root someone for free.

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  • If he is honest and upfront about it, I don't think there is a problem. There are probably girls who do the same out there as well. As long as there is no lie, I think that's fair because everyone is informed when they make decisions on what they want to do next. Just that personally I don't want to date someone like that - I'd rather have one special someone and be his special somebody.

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    • Understandable! Unfortunately I cannot provide that :( I mean, I could probably be monogamous for a while, but at some point I have to be who I really am. Thank you for your opinion.

What Guys Said 2

  • He must be pretty convincing.

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  • Let's men tell you honestly why we date multiple girls, because we want to test which girl is suitable for us, and doesn't be clingy desperate only hung out for one girl, like in the friend zone's case. Because of it, we learn from FZ, learning to live in social abundance.
    I think that's beautiful, sharing loves with everyone not only hung out with one person. until you come with a reason why you want to commit in a serious relationship.

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