I'm scared I'll never have a boyfriend or get married or anything?

I just got back from the worst date ever and it just makes me so sad that it didn't work out again.
Anyone else feel that way? I don't know how to fix it?

Generally I'm happy with my life but sometimes, like now, where I get kinda depressed about it.
I'm 21, never had a boyfriend. I think I'm reasonably attractive and a decent person but I just can't seem to meet guys.

In real I'm terrible at getting dates so I tried it online and I got loads of messages and been quite a few dates but it just never works out. The ones I like don't like me and vice versa. It's just so frustrating

And now that college is going to be over soon and I'll be home for the summer, that's another few months of my life of me not dating


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I was 21 before I dated. And it SEEMED great for a few months until I found out the girl was cheating on me with A LOT of people. Trust me, it's not always as good as it seems.

    I know several people who didn't date until 26/27 years old. I know a girl who went 12 years between boyfriends. I've gone years without a date.

    There are those who are lucky. There are those who are skilled at dating. There are those who would be better off being single. There are those who would be better off in a healthy relationship, but can't find one. There are those who jump from relationship to relationship, going for low quality just for "bragging rights."

    Sometimes I get depressed about it, but it makes perfect sense as to why I'm not dating (not much to do with personality flaws on my part, and mostly to do with crummy circumstances). Still not a fan of being single, and for so long, but I just have to try to live my life and try to make as good a life as I can without a relationship for now.

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What Guys Said 6

  • get a summer job somewhere exciting, i take it you live somewhere boring? just offer lots of guys blowjobs, one will eventually become your boyfriend, it's a numbers game.

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  • Looks like you have been having bad luck but dont quit.

    Learn from mistakes, better yourself, and keep trying.

    Trust me you will get there. You go girl!

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  • Don't worry; thats what all the soon to be married people say..
    haha I'm being serious.

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    • lol, thanks but I don't see that happening

    • Show All
    • Its a big world to explore.
      Transferring from a small college to a bigger one is a really exciting experience, though.
      I was at a tiny community college (1-2k students) and changed to a big university (25k + students). It was nice

    • no it's a 4 year university and I thought about transferring to a bigger town but I'd leave behind all my friends and things

  • Keep at it. I can't even guess at how many first dates it took for me to meet the one, and it didn't happen until I was 26.

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    • well maybe but I'm sure you've been in other relationships before that, right?

    • I dated a girl throughout high school and we went our separate ways when I went off to college. I didn't have another serious relationship until I met my current gf. There were some short term , couple month relationships, but nobody that I wanted to actually be with forever.

  • I was JUST like you but I was 23!!!

    I went to a BBQ, which was very random since I´m a vegetarian, and met my fiance there.

    Serendipity, don´t give up on it!

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    • that's just it, I never seem to get lucky like that

    • My parents met after both of them switched majors AND unis and ended up in the same course. She did physics and he did law school and they both met in med school. Let life take you there.

      You can increase your chances by keeping an open mind and being friendly to people.

      I´m rooting for you!

  • Don't feel bad I'm in the same boat. Go to the gym you can relieve stress that way and potentially meet a guy there.

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    • I go to the gym every day, I don't think I'm going to meet someone there tho. Most people are listening to music and I look terrible after a tough workout

    • I don't think anyone looks good after a good workout a guy won't care. and I agree most everyone is listening to music but if a guy catches your eye you never know.

What Girls Said 2

  • Focus on yourself and finding out who you are. And then when you've established a sense of self, go to places where you will meet men who are better suited for your standards. For example if you like men who are into politics go to a political debate. IF you want to find a man who care about people and his community go to volunteering events.

    The reality is you aren't going to find the perfect guy at bars, in clubs, online, or at church. You have to go to specific places to find certain people with specific traits.

    Anyways, you're not even 30 yet. It isn't that big of a deal.

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    • I don't know anyone who goes that sort of things. How do other people meet their boyfriend/girlfriend?

    • Those were just examples to open your mind to NEW experiences and places, since what you've been doing and where you've been meeting men hasn't been working for you. There are additional places you can go to find differenty types of men, such as poetry classes, dance classes, book clubs, whitewater rafting, rock climbing, est.

      Other people meet their boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, and wives in various scenarios and in various places. some meet their Significant others a coffee shops, and others in the military.

  • Aw hugs. I'm 21 too and single but I've had 4 bfs. Didn't work out. Tried online and guy was an idiot. Now I'm crushing on a guy. I say go out make friends first build trust then you never know what can happen. You got time don't panic. One bad date, one day closer to meeting mr right. Also bear in mind majority of males our age just want sex. Go for a nice guy forget jerks :)

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