The most common question I'm asked: Why am I single?

Welp... I have officially given up on trying to answer this question because I don't know so maybe you can answer it for me.

What you need to know (and most of this list is something 1) I know for sure about myself or 2) that I've heard multiple times from friends/significant others/in-betweeners/family):

24. No kids. Educated.
I'm a hopeless romantic. I love love.
Strong leader.
Very humble.
Stubborn at times (I wasn't going to omit my negative traits come on!)
Really easy to talk to (guys mostly said this but girls trailed behind)
Attractive
Laidback
Can relate to/befriend anyone
Focused on my goals
Willing to sacrifice for others

So why am I single? I'm pretty awesome i think lol just throwing it out there.

Updates:
I think I'm pretty awesome is a joke people. Hence the "lol" just a little humor. Loosen up lol

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Being a good leader, and being stubborn (which is simply a side effect of being a strong minded person)...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...doesn't attract men.

    Frankly most men don't give a fuck about a woman being a strong minded leader when it comes to choosing a partner.

    Most men want a feminine woman that will fall back and let him take his natural role as leader, as well as allowing herself to be vulnerable towards him.

    As a fellow black person let me tell you...the "allowing herself to be recessive to the man" is an issue that many women in black culture have (don't want to give a lengthy history lesson here but u can understand why that is).

    You seem to take some pride in your strong leadership skills...which are pointless to making yourself attractive to men.

    The women that don't have a problem attracting and keeping men, are RECESSIVE and VULNERABLE to that guy, to make him feel like a man (as in the leader, the dominant one)...therefore he is comfortable in his role and stays long term.

    There is no "fighting for the reins", per say; she curves back and TRUSTS the man to be the man, and she knows the relationship works best that way because his emotional need (Yes I said EMOTIONAL NEEDS ) are met.

    Said women don't feel like their pride is hurting when they do is.

    Don't become one of those overly independent types that REFUSES to BE RECESSIVE to the guy due to stubborness or being a control freak, and therefore repelling guys because their emotional and primal needs in a relationship are unfulfilled.

    ----

    Wow I ranted a lot...Thanks for reading all this.

    Hopefully I helped u some! :)

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    • You have plenty of good qualities listed here...I'm just trying to problem solve for you in my answer. 8-)

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    • well i like a girl like that. I think the real problem is that she sees being single as a problem or a status and being in a relationship would "upgrade" her status. I think if you stop worrying about it you'll have a better time with guys (I used to have the same issue with me and the ladies and as soon as i stopped looking for a girl they started comming to me! awsome right? ) I bet ur pretty awsome too and id date you... if i wasn't a bit too young and probably half way around the world

What Guys Said 9

  • I wouldn't date you because of your following descriptors:

    1. Educated
    2. Hopeless romantic
    3. Strong leader
    4. Stubborn

    When a woman starts off with "educated" it means that she has high expectations. Do you know what comes IMMEDIATELY to my mind? You want someone, probably in their 30's, with a stable white-collared job- preferably making 6 digits annually.

    Hopeless romantic. Again, I feel your expectations are way too high. I don't want to invest time and energy in a girl that's going to drop me on a whim because she just doesn't "feel" like she...[insert excuse here].

    "strong leader" and "stubborn" go hand in hand. Nobody appreciates a stubborn person. It also contradicts your being humble and laidback, doesn't it? Being a "strong leader" indicates that you don't like taking advice or compromising, your being "stubborn" supports that.

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    • I believe you have a lot of pessimistic views on certain characteristics. You acknowledged all the negatives but never acknowledged the positive. Being a strong leader ONLY indicates that I don't like taking advice? I know a lot of strong leaders who encourage getting advice from others. In order to lead you must know how to follow and to this day I still do. I say stubborn at times because I know I can be in certain occasion. Though it is very rare. Everyone has their faults. Because I'm educated I want someone with a 6 figure income? That's so sad that you think that. I actually prefer dating guys my age actually. I can fall in love with a poor person for all I care if it's meant to be. That leads to me being a hopeless romantic. Love is love. No expectations. Just love. But everyone's entitled to their own assumptions and opinions.

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    • lol... thirsty fools

    • That's why I'm kinda hopeless lol...romantic

  • usually not you. it's the guys you're meeting. for example, if you met me and were attracted to me, yada yada and you asked me out, i would say no. why? i can't. i just can't right now, im not in the position to. for example, if you asked me for a ton of money and or for a really expensive gift, i couldn't do it for you, and that would hurt me to not be able to give you what you wanted based on the type of money im making. i can just barely support my own car, let alone another person (especially a girl). never assume it's you (and we all have our faults), it's probably just the men you're meeting.

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    • Ah that a different perspective. Gave e some good insight

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    • thanks, i try, lol

  • wow... your traits basically (completely) mirror mine.

    i am sometimes asked the same question.
    ...too bad most can't accept the answer (if i do answer)

    :-/

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  • We can't really answer this question for you only you know why your single just need to find the right guy to compliment you that's all.

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    • Thumbs up but hey why not get opinions u know

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    • Nothing wrong with wondering what other types of people think I mean your attractive and have nice quality's. I just think its a matter of finding a person to compliment your personality and such.

    • Point taken :)

  • Update your Facebook relationship status to single and it will pop up for everyone to see.

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  • Prof don summed it up

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  • Because men have no taste xx

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  • quit worrying about it. your desperate and the only guys who want that are one night stands

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  • Possible problems
    Educated- If you are more educated than a guy, a lot of guys assume you won't consider them and won't bother risking rejection. The way you list Educated on the first line, indicates you place a high value on a persons education level. If a guy doesn't meet that same level of education, then it will be assumed that you won't consider him.
    Strong leader- Again a lot of guys assume the stronger the women, the stronger he is going to need to be, in order for her to be interested in him.
    Stubborn at times- You already realize this problem.
    Attractive- Surprised this made my list of possible problems? Most guys fear rejection, and won't bother approaching any girl that they feel is going to reject them. The prettier the girl, the higher standards she is assumed to have. So the risk of rejection goes up.
    Focused on your goals- Depends on what your goals are, but if you seem more driven toward certain goals, than a guy is he is likely to assume you will find him childish, or immature.
    You think you are pretty awesome- That means you likely feel like you deserve a pretty awesome boyfriend. Problem is a lot of guys that might be awesome, don't feel like they are. So again this is intimidating to guys that don't believe in themselves.

    The biggest factor with these is that men your age, really aren't very confident, or driven yet. Most are content watching sports or playing Xbox. Typically guys don't find there stride until they get a little older.

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What Girls Said 4

  • I've always been confused by people who ask why they're single. Whenever I'm single I don't think it has anything to do with me, or other people. It's about both. It's because there has been a lack of chemistry with the people I meet.

    So why are you single? Because you haven't met someone that you really click with.

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  • Maybe you need to put yourself more out there or you need to change your standards. I don't know but being single is fun.

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    • I think it's fun too! But I'm constantly reminded by guys that I am and why I am since they think I'm such a good catch.

  • maybe you are too vain?

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    • Did you read "What you need to know (and most of this list is something 1) I know for sure about myself or 2) that I've heard multiple times from friends/significant others/in-betweeners/family)" again this is not me putting myself on a pedestal. A lot of these traits are from others and not myself. And do I need to put that I was being funny when I said I think I'm pretty awesome (I figured the "lol" hinted at that)

      Where the sense of humor people?

  • Who knows? I was a late bloomer myself and always wondered why I was single when I was.

    I really just think it boils down to the fact that it's not meant to happen yet. You just haven't met that person that you're supposed to be with.

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    • I figured that too. And I'm ok with that. It's just that reminder every time I'm asked that question. It's like being single is looked down upon lol

    • Oh god I know…especially when you get the "sooo, are you seeing anyone yet?" question from the relatives -_- lol

      But as long as you're ok with it and are doing you, it really doesn't matter :) Someone will come along when you least expect it.

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