I'm attractive but so shy and emotionally distant what should i do?

i`m a an attractive girl and a lot of attractive guys were after me but after a while they gave up because i`m unconsiously distant and so affraid to have a very close relationship , i`m really pissed and i want to change myself please help


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Okay, WHY are you distant? Be honest.

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    • Okay, I just read your profile. So you have had a bad relationship with your father, is that why?

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    • i`m impressed by what you said , you are right they are ruining my life even now, but it`s so awkward that suddenly out of blue i text my dad for example , and tell what ever i wanted and expected , doesn`t it make everything much worse? he is a narcissict and doesn`t feel anything that i do , isn`t it enough to write it down for myself , i read in the books it also helps

    • That's fine, you have to understand something. You can't fix him, that's not the point of the conversation. The point is to bring closure to yourself.

      Think long and hard about what you would say to him, also take into account what HE would say also.

      Also, yeah, it may seem awkward, but when you text him, or talk to him, be serious when you say you want to talk. Be serious, but also be courteous and nice.

      He needs to hear this. For both you and himself.

What Guys Said 5

  • Maybe you need to figure out why you are being distant and talk to someone about it (friend, family, even a therapist). Then just ease into a relationship. Maybe it would help to go to an online dating website and meet someone there so you can get to know each other slowly and decide if you want more before you meet f2f. Then if you do want more, just ease into it. I know putting your heart in someone else's hand can be very scary but if you don't try, you will never find anyone.

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  • I'm emotionally distant to people but I connect quite well and most people seem to think that I have great self esteem and that I am very enegetic and caring. Honestly I kind of hate myself and wouldn't mind dying. But I find suicide pathetic so that's not a problem. Anyway seeing as someone else has basically answered your question (or at least established the origin of it?) I'll give you my way of solving it since we're alike and I think that this may help you as it did help me.
    :)
    Try to pretend that you are someone else, That person you want to be. Don't be yourself. I know people say be yourself but hear me out first.
    If you manage to lure them near you, eventually you'll just get more "connected" with them and it will come to the stage where you'll want to be close and won't be able to let go. That's when you've made a lie into reality!

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  • Shy is very ok and much better then the nagging or materialistic personality type woman that are around here. Just find someone that you want to be in a relationship with an start opening up to him you don't have to get rid of that shy ness with the rest of the world but you do need to find the right person you feel comfortable enough to open up to privately

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  • We can't figure out WHY you're distant...u have to figure that out yourself.

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  • What about your eyes.. ?

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What Girls Said 2

  • Can totally relate to this. I am a shy lady, and I've been out with idiots in past. Recently met a nice guy and was petrified of opening up as I kept thinking what if he hurts me. Not all guys are the same and I realised if I never go for it I will be alone and more focused on the past. Life goes on and is too short. Smile, fake confidence and be happy.

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  • Keep doing what your doing. there's a reason your like that, i'm the same way. I don't trust people, when they get close I run. The reason for me is I have been let down to many times and its the only way to be sure i'm not hurt anymore. If they gave up on you, then they weren't the right one for you. Get someone who will never give up, those boys probable would have just caused you to become more emotionally distant.

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