Is a 40 year old man too old for a 19 year old girl?

I really like this guy who is 40. I'm only 19 though. He is single and doesn't have any kids. He is sending small signs that he might be interested in me too. Is it possible for a 40 year old to truly like a 19 year old? Is the age gap just too wide? Any advice would be much appreciated. I'm really falling for him and I just want to know if I even have a chance.

Updates:
I have a great relationship with my dad! This is not daddy issues. I'm not looking for a father figure.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't like saying never, but I think it would be rare for this to be a good thing. I think you are better off backing away from this guy.

    "I have a great relationship with my dad"

    Then you should be asking him this question, not us. Introduce this 40 year old guy to your father. As an older guy myself, I just can't imagine falling for some 19 year old girl, and being able to look her father in the eye. If this guy can look your father in the eye, and your father approves of him, then I'd change my answer.

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    • You're right. I should talk to my dad about this (might be the most awkward talk in history though lol) my dad gets along with him great so I'm afraid me telling my dad my feelings might make my dad look at him differently.

What Guys Said 14

  • The average life expectancy for a male in the United States is 76 years old. Since that is 36 years from now, and you are 19 now, you will likely be 55 years old when he passes away. The average life expectancy for a female in the United States is 81 years old. This means that you will likely live the last 26 years of your life knowing that the man you love is dead.

    That does not factor in the health complications that will occur before his passing. These health complications will make it difficult for the two of you to enjoy outdoor activities together, let alone enjoy sex together. You can expect to become a rather sexless home-body. On the rare occasions that you two go out together for dinner and movies and what-not, you will be constantly judged.

    In my opinion, it is not worth it. You should focus your attention on young men that are 18-26 or thereabouts.

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  • Yes, he's too old. And let's be honest, any 40 year old who tries to get serious about a 19 year old... there's something wrong with him.

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  • yes, he's double your age, and a little creepy, but if you really love him than I guess the age difference should't matter.

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  • Yes...don't go for it. Stay with a guy closer to ur age.

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  • "if you have a chance."

    bahahaha.

    that's like asking if Orland Bloom could get laid by visiting a university.

    yes, you definitely have a very good chance with that fellow.

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  • Maybe. There are plenty of older men who marry younger like yourself. However, you want to find out about his history first. Has he dated younger before? How often? You don't want to be used just for sex.

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  • daddy issues?

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    • no daddy issues.

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    • aw :( its ok i'm right with you! most of these answers are saying that it won't happen or shouldn't happen. I feel your pain :/

    • I mean I dont know the dynamics of this, and I know the social norms say no. but morally and everything else going on in this world. I mean I dont know and Im not going to judge

  • Yes dont do it. I think it is possible he just wants you because of your youth. Be careful and find out his history

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  • No, No of course not...In the year 2029 where might a 40 year old man meet a girl such as yourself?

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  • I believe its legal, but every state differs. as long as its legal, I don't care about age

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    • its legal where i am ;)

    • then by all means go for it. however, I would think she has daddy issues

  • For sure possible. Extra love from him because you're so young/hot compared to 40 year old women :)

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  • Yes wtf huge huge daddy issues

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  • Yes. I'm not going to talk on the age gap but I have to comment on the difference in life experience. A 19 year old barely knows how to swim in life. I don't care how much you've been through this guy has lived literally twice as much of life than you and if he's seriously interested in a 19 year old he's had some struggles and some issues to work through. I'm not opposed to the relationship just the timing. 30 and 50 year old maybe 60 and 80 year old sure. But that at 19 you have a lot of growing to do and a lot of things to experience your 20s are all about getting a grip on life and any 40 year old who disregards that is surely not truly caring about your well being. If he's serious he should be able to step back and let you grow on your own for a bit. It's not the age gap it's the life experience and at 19 you still have a huge world to get accustomed to. And I'm sure you probably think your mature enough but trust me as a 21 year old I have to say from 18 to now has been the most volatile years in my life and I don't know a single person who doesn't feel the same way about there own life. You have time just wait. If he truly cares he'll wait too.

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What Girls Said 7

  • If you like him and he likes you, then why not. You're young, and you should date a variety of people to figure out what you want in a relationship..
    But be careful not to get too attached, because that is definitely a hard relationship to navigate in the long term. Not just for you, but for him... Dating someone less than half his age will more than raise some eyebrows, does he even want a serious relationship? I mean if he's single at 40, maybe he's not interested in a commitment?
    If it's a short term thing, go for it and have fun. If your feelings are more on the long term, think long and hard.

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  • Getting to know each other will define if something is possible. I dated a guy 13 years my senior and while the initial excitement was wild, it lasted for a very short time and when we talked about things, our taste in movies, music, stuff was very different and we didn't get along at all. My friends never even tried clicking with him and his friends were very... I don't know.. of another generation. I got bored of him quickly and broke up with him. But who knows. whatever you do, look for your happiness. Personally I say it is a big gap, but who knows.

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    • Thanks for sharing! we actually like the same tv shows and enjoy some of the same hobbies. I know some of his friends and they are all fun. So i don't know...

    • I say give it a shot. Time will tell. In my case things were defined pretty quickly. Our incompatibility was very obvious because he was a guy who was very stuck in the 80s, lol. Now... don't let this guy treat you (not now, but later) like you're a kid who knows nothing, don't let him treat you like if you were his daughter (happened to me), because the charm fades away fast. Enjoy whatever may come, no hurry, no pressure.

  • I think it really depends on your relationship with eachother. my mom and my step dad are 17 years apart and they get along great! i think if you have the maturity to be with someone that much older and he is able to let loose and be with a much younger woman itll work. i mean hey, if Jared Leto came knocking at my door i would totally be in the same position! hahaha

    just make sure you have strong compatibility. things could work out great or you'll get very hurt in a way you wouldn't with someone around your age.

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  • Yes he is very old for you.. Do you Have father issues? Was not around or emotionally distant? He has been around the block a few times and you run the risk of being seriously emotionally manipulated or hurt.
    The other scenario is that you will eventually find out the your emotionally needs as 19 year old is not being met and move on. when you are 40 he will be an old man. Think about it!

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    • My dad is great. I'm not looking for a father figure. Thanks for the advice though.

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    • At the end of the day it's your call. Go with your gut feelings. I offered my opinion accordingly.

    • thank you for your time and advice!

  • There's like a 1% chance he could take you seriously. Better hope you're the 1%.

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  • Move in why date a dinosaur when you can date a panther?

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  • It seems like you could have a chance. Although you two may be atrracted to each other I don't forsee a successful pairing. Its not just the age gap its also about you two being in the same place in your life course. I think it's kind of impossible for a 19 and 40 year old to be mentally and emotionally compatible.

    However My parents where 18 years apart my dad being older and they had a great marriage. But she was in her late 20's when she met him they both had children from their previous marriages thus they where on a similar life course and looking for the same things out of life.

    So if you're just looking to have fun go it but a serious relationship with him probably isn't going to be feasible. But then again who knows it could work if you two are up for the challenge.

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