Who would get into a relationship with a single parent?

Me and my friend were having a debate about being a single parent. She doesn't see an issue dating while she has children. However I believe that it would filter a lot of guys down. We're both 22 by the way so most guys our age haven't even thought about babies! I just want to know people's opinions on this one. Am I just being way too negative?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would only be in a relationship with a single mom if I knew she was the girl I wanted to be with forever. Because I wouldn't just be with her. I'd be with her kid too which I wouldn't want her kid to get attached to me if I wasn't planning on marrying her, that's so unfair to the kid. Break there little heart. I wouldn't have a problem with it. Unless she didn't want to have any more kids cause id want kids of my own but I would defiantly treat her kid like he/she was mine. Just ya know. Still want kids of my own someday. Lol if that makes sense.

    I think a single mom in early twenties working, going to school, and raising a kid and trying to have the best for them is one amazing girl. She'd be the girl we call a "keeper".

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What Guys Said 15

  • I'd filter, indeed. I might consider i it if
    -she wasn't too young (22 would be really young for me)
    -the children weren't over 7 or 8.
    -the ex did not have some rights.
    I can cope with the woman (less with a teen mom), with young children, (less with unknown revolting adolescents) but not with her obnoxious ex.

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  • It's possible if I really like her but I'd rather be with a girl with no kids. I could actually see a girl having kids as an advantage in a way because they would be less likely to want more. I have other things in life I'd rather do than to raise kids at this point.

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  • I guess I'd consider it. In an ideal world I would like kids of my own in a few years or so, and I'm not so sure I'm ready to date someone seriously and be a father figure type all at once.

    If I really, really, REALLY liked the girl then I would consider it.

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  • I'm a single parent, I'm not judging you based solely on that. As in how many different fathers are there of your children, that would be the only case at your age to my age that would be a huge indicator of long term material, otherwise its a waste of my time if it isn't "long term" you are after, I could be spending it with my friends or my kids (time).

    However, I think we both know what kind of guys target young single moms.

    I give you the benefit of the doubt, not just because it would make me a hypocrite, but I understand life happens on life's terms no matter what we do. We can do our best and that's it.

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  • I wouldn't for 2 reasons.
    1) If I ever have kids I'd want it to be half me half my gf, not some random guy who I dont know. In other words they aren't part of me at all.
    2) I would always come second to them and never be the main person in her life no matter what I did - seen on POF loads "my kids will always come first", so no I wouldn't

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  • whats wrong with a single parent, most may say its baggage, or they are broken, but they aren't , they got a little one who is their lives and if someone else they want on their journey wants to come with them on that aforementioned journey, so be it

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  • I would have no problem dating a mom.

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    • In fact a lot of people say I'm a "real mother". So I guess they think I'll have good parenting skills.

      ;-p

  • Honestly if the girl is skinny and beautiful, and has a personality, most guys won't really care, but if I has to choose I would rather she has a boy than a girl, because girls are trouble.

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  • once im over 18 i would. why not. whats the problem i love kids. and they might need some help. yes it would filter guys down a lot. mostly because guys my age and in their twnetys are complete idiots. but every guy thinks about kdis. its why we wear condoms. jsut saying haha.

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  • I don't know I probably would, but preferably not I suppose because if the couple should spit it could end up hurting the kids too.

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  • I'm not a children person, just don't want them in my life whether they're from my sperm or someone else's.

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  • no because I would not be the real father and would not feel special. And id constantly be hearing about your freakin ex.

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    • Not always. I wouldn't be constantly talking about my ex lol.

    • Show All
    • Some people aren't secure enough to date someone where there is constant proof she's not a virgin, I guess.

    • Wow so girls with kids are whores huh? I must be a big one then BC I have 4 kids with 3 worthless ass dads..

  • I love kids I wouldn't mind going out with someone who has a kid or kids

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  • Depends on why the former split. To my surprise most of the single moms I met left the father of their child for very selfish reasons.

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    • Doesn't that apply to any relationship? Why the girl you're dating isn't with her boyfriend anymore. Why are single mums singled out?

    • That's a good question but it's not the same. If you're going to create a child with a person you should have at least given some thought as to whether or not this is the sort of man I can stay involved with. Don't give me that accidents happen BS either. In this day and age the child means only one thing, you are too spontaneous, too short-sighted, and probably a poor choice for a relationship.

    • I'm not going to talk about how I fell pregnant. There is a lot of truth in what you're saying but I wasn't aware that he was cheating and if that's my fault for being a poor judge of character then so be it.

  • I've dated single women. But it's definitely a filter. She has to be pretty amazing for me to overlook the kids thing.

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    • You've dated single women? I should hope so! Haha! Yeah that's what I thought too, there's more pressure on the parent.

    • I meant single parent women. :)

What Girls Said 8

  • uhm… i honestly couldn't do it. a lot of people dont mind tho.
    but as for me, iv always vowed that i will be a guys first and last sexual encounter ever, so thats whats going to go down.

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  • Are one of you PLANNING on having a baby and then being a single parent? Because if you are, that's crazy. And if you aren't, then the question is moot. If she has a kid and you're telling her no guy will ever want her, you're being a pretty shitty friend on top of being completely wrong.

    If you're a parent, you're a parent, and there's no point in "debating" possibilities. Of course having a kid will reduce your dating options, but it doesn't eliminate them. Single parents date all the time. In fact, I bet an attractive single mom has more options than an unattractive woman with no kids. It's a hurdle, but it's definitely not THAT big of a hurdle. More like a speed bump. The time constraints of single parents are a much bigger dating obstacle than just finding someone to date is.

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    • I don't remember saying in the description that no guy would ever want her. We're both single mums. We was just discussing light heartedly about dating again and how it's different to before we got pregnant. I just think it filters a lot of people down.

    • Who cares? You don't need a lot of people. You just need one.

    • And I'm going to come down and be a little less harsh now since it's both of you who are parents and not just her, like I thought when I read the question. There are lots of guys who don't want to date moms - especially at your age. But there are plenty of guys who do. Especially if you're willing to date men who also have kids. I had absolutely no difficulty dating as a single parent, but I was also in my late 20s when I got divorced. I know men in their late 20s and in their 30s are generally more open to dating single moms. (Not ALL of them, obviously..) I have 1 kid and my boyfriend has 2, so we're both in a relationship with a single parent. Of course, we're both in our 30s, too.

  • It would filter a lot of guys down, plus she can't take every guy home with her...they could accidentally meet her child and then what would she say? It's awkward and she has to look at life from a more serious point of view.

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    • Yeah I know what you're saying. A parent can't keep bringing any Tom, Dick or Harry home. It adds so much confusion! By the way if that's you in your profile pic, your hair is a gorgeous colour! :)

    • Awwww thank you! =)

      Yep, your friend really should be more serious about her life now that it's not just her in the picture...

  • I wouldn't date a guy who had kids. I'm not willing nor ready to take on that responsibility.

    I think most of the people I know would feel the same.

    That being said, there are some people that would be okay with it (or willing to try). You're right, being a single parent would filter a lot of guys.

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  • F*ck... that... sh*t. No way. I hate kids all together and if I date a single parent, they are going to make me pay for some of their kids crap. Not to mention their mother being in our lives. No if a man im interested in has kids, I'll be fast running the other way.

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    • How exactly would that make you pay for some of their kid's crap?

    • Because if you are involved, some time later when you are serious and wants to marry you (OR if he wants to be cheap and get you in a defacto relationship, you will most definitely get to contribute some money). Follow me as I will ask a question regarding this. You watch and see that I am right.

  • Its possible yes it does filter out a lot of guys but its not just the guys tho its also u. You will see a guy that u like and 99.99% of the time u will ask ur self "do I really want this kind of guy around my kid/kids I'm a single parent of 4 kids with 3 baby daddy's...

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  • I am in one with a single dad. He is 30 I am 22. His son is 4.

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    • Aww :) do you get along with his son?

    • Yea he son told me he likes me :). His son is really pleasant. And his son is cute. But thinking of breaking up with him for other reasons but definitely nothing to do with him having a kid. I love children :)

  • I have a child and would love to date and see no problem with it but my man concern would be the influence on my son and taking time away from him

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    • Every parent is entitled to time for themselves every now and then! Yeah your preference changes when dating it's like you're almost looking for a role model as well as a partner!

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