How can I fix this problem with my girlfriend? Talking doesn't help?

I sometimes catch her out of bed at night and I hear her crying. When I rush to go check what's wrong she refuses to admit she cried. It takes about an hour of convincing for her to say she is still hurt from previous fights where I said nasty things to her and when I wasn't able to be there for her. She doesn't admit it now but I know she still cries because of it. I tried making it up to her but every so often she breaks down. She never does that or wants to admit she does. It makes me feel horrible that she is still scarred because of it. I tried talking to her, buying gifts or giving her flowers but she shuts down when I talk to her about it. I really don't know what to do at this point. I'm not leaving her I love her dearly.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • What did you say and do to her that it was so horrible? Flowers and gifts won't fix anything. If you're sure this is why she's crying, give her time. Let her know you are there for her now and be there for her, try to talk, but don't push her, and most of all, respect her if you really love her, no matter how hard things get. I don't know what you did or say, so I can't say you're not good for her. But sometimes it's true that if you love someone and you're bad for them and vice versa, you should set them free.

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    • There were times when I got overly upset at a joke, there were times when I got too jealous because so many guys hit on her and her exs keep flocking to her even though she told m, there were times when she got me upset and I threw things, there were times when I accused her of doing things and I called her names, there were times when I wanted to leave her when we were long distance that I believe disturbs her the most, and there was one time I got too upset at her because she got mad at my mom for something and I called her an ungrateful bastard... I apologized immediately. There was a time when I was the one to say sorry ALL the time. We worked through these issues and don't fight as often anymore since we moved in together. I couldn't be there for 3 of our anniversaries and New Years.

    • Ok. I think you just need to be patient and show her that you trust her and are there for her now.:D She needs time.

What Girls Said 3

  • Well you said fights as in plural. If you guys keep fighting, maybe you should seek relationship counseling. When you guys are angry, don't use hurtful words (as in "You're such a bitch") try saying "You did this, and it makes me feel this. How do we fix it?"

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  • just wait and be there , make her trust you again , there is nothing you can really do except to make her feel safe again , and that will only come by time

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  • I'm curious to know what exactly you did/said to cause her such lingering pain.

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    • There were times when I got overly upset at a joke, there were times when I got too jealous because so many guys hit on her and her exs keep flocking to her even though she told m, there were times when she got me upset and I threw things, there were times when I accused her of doing things and I called her names, there were times when I wanted to leave her when we were long distance that I believe disturbs her the most, and there was one time I got too upset at her because she got mad at my mom for something and I called her an ungrateful bastard... I apologized immediately. There was a time when I was the one to say sorry ALL the time. We worked through these issues and don't fight as often anymore since we moved in together. I couldn't be there for 3 of our anniversaries and New Years.

What Guys Said 0

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