How can I work on eye contact?

I was the chunky, smart girl in high school who got picked on and then abused at home, therefore I don't love myself, or think I'm beautiful, though I get told that all the time. I'm like the ugly duckling underneath it all. When I walk, I know guys look at me, but over the years, out of insecurity, I've learned to keep my eyes straight and not pay attention to them. I think this is one of the main reasons why I never get approached or asked out. What can I do to change this? Any techniques/advice?


0|0
2|1

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think for all of us it comes as understanding yourself and others more clearly over time. The more we grow in understanding ourselves in terms of a continually changing improving individual, the more we can begin to understand past events resolve those events, and make changes in some weights or values that prevents other like events from occurring in the future. As you grow in your understanding of yourself and others you be able to respond with proper eye contact, because you are no longer under the clutches of that past event. I feel all of us are dealing with layers of mental work that constitute our average stress. As we begin to understand and resolve layers of mental work from past, present, or future concerns, we will improve with each remove layer our thinking, learning, confidence, and safe guard our mental health. As far as relationships, I feel all of our lives are so complex now and so filled with the stresses of life and our values have become so pointed from that higher average stress, I feel it will be be difficult to find a long-term relationship due to those more pointed values in all of us that are so different now.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 1

  • Start off with guys you would never consider attractive, like an old man or something. Then work your way up the attractiveness scale.

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 1

  • I was the exact description of you. I just started by faking confidence, turning it into a game. I'd tell myself, "What do I have to lose? Nobody will know." So I started with shy flirtation, and being coy. While playing at having confidence, somewhere along the line, I finally HAD confidence. Fake it till ya make it.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...