Am I overreacting...?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 8 months now. We get along great with one exception, we fight over me hanging out with other guys. I have always had a lot of guy friends, probably 70% of my closest friends are male. Whenever I'm hanging out with one of my guy friends my boyfriend goes nuts. He calls my phone 10+ times and questions me when I get home or if I call him about exactly what I was doing and what was said and if anything happened etc.. Its ridiculous. I love this guy but he's killing our relationship. I have never cheated on him, and he has no reason to not trust me. Let me know your thoughts am I over reacting by dumping him? Is this something I should cope with because I love him?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He probably has some self esteem issues. In his heart he is probably thinking something along the lines of 'Why is she dating me?' followed by 'Eventually she is going to realize one of those guys would be better for her and dump me.' It is hard to know what to do here, because no amount of reassurance will do it if he does not think he measures up.

    Or he might have been in a situation much like this where the girl cheated, and that baggage is being dumped on you... if so you need to find out and call him on it.

    And come to think of it, he might be a control freak trying to establish dominance over your life by determining who you can be friends with. Think about your other interactions with him and see if there is a controlling pattern, then kick him to the curb if you want your independance.

    Good luck and stay safe.

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What Guys Said 3

  • he has a reason to get angry.

    girls don't realize that most if not all of their guy friends may act like theyre just friends...but given the chance, they will jump on you like a pack of wolves.

    i had a similar situation with my ex gf, she was hanging out with her guy friend that was "just a friend" then after me telling her so many times that guy friends are just sitting there waiting to pounce, she finally realized that he had been trying to get into her panties all along .

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  • Would you let him hang around with other girls?

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    • I actually don't mind if he hangs out with other girls.

  • no you are not overreacting.

    the only reason I could see him getting like this is if you cheated on him

    but you didn't.

    to put it blunty -- he's an immature idiot.

    if I was dating a girl I could care less if she had male friends she hung out with unless she went around sleeping with them.

    but you need to talk to him about this.

    say something like if this continues in our relationship I'm not sure if things will work out.

    there is nothing wrong with him calling you and seeing what's up once in a while.

    but 10+ calls and an interrogation are uncalled for.

    have a conversation with him, if it doesn't end I'd break up with him.

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What Girls Said 2

  • yes it could kill the relationship but you shouldnt break up with him without giving him a chance to realize he has to trust you for it to work. he's insecure and afraid to trust you but he's going to have to for the relationship to work. then again maybe he fears you don't feel for him the way he feels for you, I mean you sound like you could dump him and be ok with it.

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  • no you're not over reacting you are suffocated and that's just your getaway..thats a leasson for him but yeh you have to cope because every decison we make there's consequences

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