Do you guys pay for everything when you are dating?

In certain Asian culture, I've noticed that some girls expect guys to pay everything when they are dating..(not only for the first date... every single time..) but for me if guy pay for lunch then I would pay for coffee or dinner or movies, so guys that I went out with, found me really weird.. since I tried to pay for them. Do you think it is odd if girl try to pay for something on a date? or do you usually pay for everything when you are going out with a girl? may be just for a first date?


0|0
13|23

Most Helpful Girl

  • Some guys do, but I honestly believe that is very unfair.
    Firstly, some girls genuinely do not deserve to be treated like that. The guys can't see it yet because they haven't had enough exposure to her personality, but some girls are truly not deserving to have a guy take his hard earned money and use it so that she can have a free meal and a night of entertainment.
    Second, that sh*t is EXPENSIVE. I don't know about you other girls, but I'd feel so GUILTY having a guy spend all that money on me.

    I think girls should be willing to pay for the guy every once in a while. Especially if they're that spoiled type who expects to be payed for as if they're a cheap girl who can't afford her own meal. Ideally, both people would be generous and selfless enough to have each other's backs financially and help out when it came to dates.

    2|5
    0|0
    • CANNOT agree more!! thank you for your opinion~

    • Show All
    • Wow i'm sorry to hear that, but really Thank you EmeraldSky, sharing your story with me! I really appreciated it!

    • lol don't be! it's not your fault! ;P we ended up having a huge argument about it one night. He was totally oblivious to the fact that he was receiving more than he was giving. The next day, he treated me to lunch and bought me this really cool mini wooden hanging spiral ladder. Communication is key!

What Guys Said 23

  • When my wife and I started dating like 16 years ago, I pretty much covered all the expenses for a good 12 of those 16 years.
    It's not that it was forced on me or she expected for me to do it, but it was I who was very interested in her and she just acknowledged my interest and gave it back in full.
    I also came from a better well off family, so it's not that I couldn't pay for our dates.
    All in all, I think I was lucky that she wasn't one of those who would use another person for personal materialistic gain.
    Nowadays she pretty much covers most of our couple date nights, because she can pay for it and she thinks i'm worth it. :) I ain't complaining now I just save what I would usually spend on dates for rainy days.

    3|1
    0|0
  • I wouldn't want her to. It is normal, self centered and selfish in America, for men to ask the girl to pay for things. If I can't pay for her meal, then I should not be asking her out.

    5|0
    0|0
  • I generally try to pay for everything, most girls want to pay for at least their half or even for me as well. But I just feel it's traditional and just the nice thing for me to do so I do pay for as much as I can.

    3|1
    0|0
    • That's so awesome of you :) but wouldn't that be hard if you are in a relationship and you try to pay for everything?

    • Not at all, I don't mind so long as I know she's not trying to take advantage. I can tell if a girl has that attitude or not though.

  • If I ask her out, I'll pay for her. If it's just a casual outing with my girlfriend, for example, I'll either pay for all of it or just my portion. If she were to offer to pay, I would let her do so but I wouldn't feel right if I let her pay for me too often.

    1|0
    0|0
    • what if she asks you out, then is it ok for her to pay? :)

    • I would think so, yes. I wouldn't expect her to pay though. I always have the money on me to pay for myself.

  • I will always offer to pay but if she never wants to reciprocate even if she has a decent paying job, I will start to feel like I'm being taken advantage of. I would think she's more about mutual acceptance and cooperation if she offered to either split costs or pay herself now and then. That would definitely make me more interested in her because I'm not a fan of gender roles because I think they are very limiting in relationships. I prefer relationships where two partners help each other however they can.

    This is just my opinion anyway.

    2|0
    0|0
  • FIRSTLY I must say you are perfect alone for what you just typed 'it is people like you why I would try my best to give this whole planet to if I could'please never change and make sure the guy you choose or already have DESERVES YOUR POINT OF VIEW.Now to answer the question if a guy ask's you out on a date then yes he should pay' in America females never ask guys out and if for some strange once in a life time chance they do...the guy is still expected to pay Unfortunately there is only one you. If woman thought more like you there wouldn't be so many man jerks mistreating woman.

    1|0
    0|0
    • haha thank you for sharing your opinion :) but I found some other ladies in America here who pay for their bfs :D so that's awesome, may be world is changing~~!

  • Personally, yeah I do. I make pretty decent coin, so shelling out 50-100 bucks a couple nights out of the week is no biggie. I'm somewhat old fashioned when it comes to dating too. If I'm taking a girl out, then *I'm* taking her out. I'm not meeting her someplace, and having a conversation with her while she buys herself dinner.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Well, when I was dating I never refused to allow a woman to pay if she offered. I was never offended. I didn't find it odd.

    I have a female friend who said that she always offered to pay on a first date, but if the guy allowed her to, he would never get a second date with her. It was kind of an odd test she did. Whereas I don't think this is common with women (by any means), I know that she's not alone because I've heard other women say the same.

    I am curious, meibay313, have you been out with an Asian man who seemed offended or upset when you offered to pay?

    1|0
    0|0
    • Yes, I have, whenever I offered to pay for coffee at least, they were like "no way.. it is on me~" :P

    • Show All
    • Hmm. You are generous. If you are with someone, then he is a lucky man. If you are not someone, then I wish you well in finding him and I think he will BE a lucky man.

    • haha you are so sweet thank you :)

  • Most girls I've dated have paid their way, usually we just take turns. The few who expected me to pay for everything I never bothered seeing again. The thing is they all worked and had their own money, and they told me what they were saving for etc. then they criticised "cheap men". So they expect me to spend my hard-earned money on them while they spend their money on themselves too... Fuck that.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I would gladly pay for the girl if we lived in a proper society such as pre-1950. But in todays society with the "gender equality" nonsense, not a chance. If girls want to be "equal" and earn money then they can be equal and pay for themselves aswell.
    Chivalry is dead.
    returnofkings.com/32458/why-chivalry-is-dead

    1|2
    0|0
  • While I do like the fact some women try to pay as it shows respect and self reliance. I always pay for dates I'm just old fashioned I guess the only time I ever would like a women to help with the bill. Is when the check Is ungodly expensive even then we only go half and half.

    2|0
    0|0
  • Most guys would feel used if they were required to pay for everything. I always pay for the first date and offer to pay for the next couple of dates too. But once I sleep with her or get any heavy action, she should start paying sometimes as well. Otherwise, I would not keep her around for much more than sex.

    1|1
    0|0
    • Wow thank you for your opinion :D hehe yes, I also think girl should pay after the first date :D

  • I don't think it's that weird for a girl to pay for a date, but I like to pay. Even though my girlfriend doesn't like me spending money on her, I always insist and tend to spend way more than I need to on her and I love every second of it, lol.

    2|0
    0|0
  • I like to pay in the beginning, but when it's a relationship I can't see a good reason to make it a team effort.

    1|1
    0|0
  • I like to, but I can't always afford to :( And I totally respect girls that offer too. But it's more like if I ask to take you out, I expect to pay since it was my offer and your time.

    1|0
    0|0
  • Given the end result is shared everything, sharing is the only acceptable option.

    3|1
    0|0
  • yes mostly Asian guys are paying everything in a date, because it is the guys who ask for a date so they have to pay everything on every date and it has something to do with responsibility and culture, i'm Asian and never experienced dating but this is what i learned and observed, paying everything to a date boosts manhood of a guy and make guys more gentleman in kind of manner

    2|0
    0|0
    • Yea Asian guys try to pay everything... LOL and I think it is not fair T_T haha thank you for sharing your opinion here!

    • Show All
    • haha you are so sweet :)

    • nah i dont want to be sweet and nice

  • We always wished that girls should never mind to pay for men. 80% women never do that. I have even witnessed wealthy girls not paying for date. And if we men compromise then they will start hunting for next. This is not good at all but this is how the world is.
    Look , We don't mind paying for women at all. In fact we happily do that. But generous contribution from girls are always welcomed.

    1|0
    0|1
  • We both pay for things but often times ill be the one who ends up paying. But it really doesn't bother me.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I think when i pay for food, and the girl pays for coffee, than she is self reliant very respectful and not selfish

    1|0
    0|0
  • I never dated before LOOOOL

    1|1
    0|0
  • No I think it's really considerate and sweet. Usually on the first date so we don't look like a jerk. But paying for everything is sometimes a way for us to say, "Hey, I'm the man so I'll do it," but if you pay now and then he'll definitely appreciate.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Some guys do. I always pay for everything. When I die I can't take my money with me so I enjoy spoiling my lady.

    2|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 12

  • Not in my relationship...he's in school and can't work cause he's in class all day so right now he's living off loans...I am also going to grad school full time but I have two jobs so we alternate spending...like when going out to eat we take turns paying...we plan on getting married anyways so we see each other's money as joint...if I let him he'd pay for mostly everything...but I don't want him to waste more loan money than necessary.

    But when he starts making the big bucks and we get married I expect him to pay for most things cause he's projected to make so much more than me...

    2|0
    0|0
    • That's so sweet of you :) thank you for sharing your story here~!

  • My boyfriend and I have always split stuff. I'm not a very expensive date tbh, because I don't like the idea of someone spending lots of money on me.
    Every so often he will insist on paying even when I'm about to, but that doesn't happen much. I paid his really expensive phone bill a month ago and he is still paying me back... In dates. So even though he is taking me out, I'm technically still paying for it.

    He buys me ice cream when I want, so it's all good. :P in all seriousness, I try not to really think of it and just let things happen naturally. I certainly don't expect or feel entitled to be paid for, and I hope he doesn't either.

    1|0
    0|0
    • wow you paid his phon bill? that's pretty expensive stuff.. so yea I could also say you are technically paying for it! :) Thank you for sharing your opinion!

    • Yeah, he was in a pinch. No problem:) good question.

  • YESS!!! every Asian guy i know always insist on paying! some of the girls say they dont date a guy that doesn't pay for them. said if he like them, theyd have to be willing to pay. OMG NO WOMAN! NO!
    i usually pay for myself too and they seemed fine with it. but it was really hard to get the exact amount so we agreed to take turns paying and sometimes he feels bad when it cost a lot that he buys me dessert after haha

    1|0
    0|0
  • I live in USA and my bf pays for most of the dates but I sometimes pay. If it is a celebration for him of course I will pay and just every now and then I will pay too but mostly he does. Once I got drinks with a guy friend and I paid for a drink of mine when he was gone to the bathroom and he really didn't like that I did that so I usually just let the guy pay.

    1|0
    0|0
    • I see :) haha that's good, thank you for sharing your story here

  • My ex paid for the first date but after that we usually go 50/50 or 60/40 for lunch and dinners. I paid for all movies because I was the one who imitate first to go watch movies and he enjoyed it. And sometimes he get snacks for the movies.

    1|1
    0|0
    • :) that's what I did with my ex too haha 50/50 or 60 on me 40 on my ex :P. Thank you for sharing!

  • My husband payed for some when we were dated but I also did too. But now what's mine is his and what's his is mine lol

    1|0
    0|0
    • That's so awesome~~ you sound so cute "what's mine is his, and what's his is mine~" awesome awesome! thank you for sharing your opinion!

  • When I was dating, I would take turns paying with whomever I was dating at the time.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I think for the first date the guy should pay! Then after that the girl could offer to pay. Then I would be up to the guy if he let her pay her not. I do not think it's odd that girl would pay for a date.

    1|0
    0|1
  • My guy always pays, even when I insist on paying.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I've never been on a date with a guy who would allow me to split the bill- he always pays.

    1|0
    0|0
    • Wow so American guys pay for everything too! interesting~ thank you for sharing your opinion~

  • My boyfriend pays for everything, its not that i want him too, Sometimes i want to pay for him , but he doesn't like it when i do that,

    1|0
    0|0
  • From what I understand there are a lot of guys who want to woman to OFFER to pay for the first date, though they are prepared to pay for the whole meal/event what have you. As reassurance that your not just trying to get free rides out of them. After a relationship has been established I think its only fair to work out some kind of agreement (paying 50/50 or every other etc). When its just "dating" I try to always pay for myself because you never if its going to work out, and that doesn't seem fair.

    1|0
    0|0
    • true I think if you are in a relationship, it is totally different story :) thank you for your opinion!

Loading...