We had a great date, so where did he go?

A couple months ago.. I made plans to meet up with a guy I used to know a few years back and had reconnected with recently via Facebook. We live in two different cities so when we finally set up a time to see each other he told me exactly where to go. When I got there I couldn't help but notice how romantic this place was. We were just meeting for a drink but this lounge was inside a very classy and historic hotel in the city lined with grand ceilings and marble floors. The lounge was dimly lit with candles on the tables. It was truly a beautiful place.

We talked forever.. about anything and everything. Afterward, he paid the check and drove me to my car. We gave each other a lingering hug and he squeezed me a bit tighter before I let go. He stated that I should give him a call next time I'm in the city so we can meet up again.

He also told me his up coming schedule (willingly), I'm assuming to warn me he may be pretty busy for the next few weeks (he is pretty successful), however, he did invite me to show up to some work event he is involved in next week. The thing is... We NEVER stated, not once, whether or not this was going to be considered an official date.

Well... this date was over 2 months ago! He seemed to be the shy type so I gave him a couple of "opportunities" to ask me out again, like, "Hey, I'm going to be in town next week for some work stuff but I would love a reason to stay. Will you be free?" Mind you, this is how I got a date with him in the first place. By being a bit forward and flirty. It was getting me results so I kept doing it. However, it started to feel like he was blowing me off so I stopped texting altogether. I need some perspective. Did I come on too strong for him? If so, is there some way I can reverse the damage? We had such a great time, he's had a crush on me for years, but for some reason I haven't seen him since.

Please help, I'm so confused. I can't seem to let this go :(


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You both had a great time. He enjoyed it immensely. He still feels that way.

    Unfortunately, there is another problem. More specifically, another woman.

    You did everything right. I predict a successful dating future for you. You just kind of got a bad luck snag. You shouldn't expect it to happen again.

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    • That makes total sense. I could see how that scenerio would suddenly put a stop to our contact. I almost feel better now that there is some kind of reasonable explanation. Even if I'm not the "chosen" one lol. I'm just curious, how did you come up with that conclusion? Thanks!

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    • I am not an expert at girla-warfare, but my wife when we were dating had actually ran off several women, some in front of me and others behind my back. I was very upset about this but she moved first and apologized later. Well, she won lol.

      I actually cringe to think how these competitions go. You might get better advice from the female audience of GAG as a new question on how to umm... do girla-warfare and win him.

      I suppose your first step is to find out if he is with someone. The easiest way is just ask, I guess.

    • Good idea. I think I will post another question to that effect. I've never had to do this before. Perhaps your wife could offer some wisdom on the subject if she has an account? Lol

What Guys Said 1

What Girls Said 2

  • Girl, some men are just like that. They're confusing. LOL. Uhm, maybe he's already committed to somebody else, thus the aloofness. Or say, he's got other priorities and dating is the last on his list. I don't know. That's hard, actually. I've been in this situation. What I did? I entertain some others. :)

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  • I know that this situation sucks for a woman. You wait all day everyday for an answer and it makes you feel insecure. Usually it's the other way around, that the guy asks the girl out. Not that it really matters but I have the feeling guys have more immunity for this type of thing (although it still hurts). I'll tell you a little experience of mine. I had a date with this guy I really liked. He payed the check, drove me home, really nice. I gave him a hug and left. Didn't hear from him after. Couple months later I walked into him in town. Awkward at first but we had a drink together. Again a really nice time and made me forget about not texting me back. I wanted to thank him but he didn't have much time. He got flirty and I don't know how it escalated so quickly but I sucked his dick in a toilet stall. Not the most romantic thing but he had the time of his life. Of course the day after he immediately asked for another date. The following dates (and there were a lot) were awesome. Of course we fucked at the end of each but it were still great dates apart from sex. And I do think that since sex is an important part of the relationship, it's not wrong to get a taste of it in early on dates. Moral of the story: If he was a great date, give him something more as thanks than an average date. And I don't mean you have to fuck or suck his dick. Just make sure he knows you he's more than average to you. Telling him you really REALLY liked it or a flirty kiss can be more than enough to stay on his mind and make him come back.

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