Is weed a dealbreaker for you?

I met a girl a while back and when we were talking she of course did not warn me until she was about to get in the car that she smokes weed. The really uncomfortable part about it was that she literally got high at the end of her shift at work where she wanted me to pick her up and then got into my car. Everything else seemed nice about her but the fact that she smoked weed I couldn't shake and it became our only date/meet up/ whatever.

Granted I am very strict on being drug free I also couldn't date a girl that frequents bars often as I am a non-drinker. So I want to hear your thoughts on if you'd date a drug user, if you think weed is something "you don't count as a drug" and if you'd date them? Also if you smoke weed yourself indicate that because I'd imagine that a person who smokes weed would date one who does as well.

Updates:
You can also add in if smoking cigs is a dealbreaker for you.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I personally don't think that weed is any worse than alcohol, BUT everything in moderation. If she's smoking everyday that's a problem (just like if somebody is drinking everyday). I see both alcohol and marijuana as social drugs if you're getting high/drunk by yourself for me that's a red flag.

    If she couldn't wait until after your date to get high that's something that would freak me out a bit. I mean, you just don't do that. You wouldn't get drunk before a date would you? See, that's what I'd have a problem with right there.. like I said I look at weed the same way I look at alcohol.

    And yes smoking cigarettes are a dealbreaker for me. I can do Black and Milds and cigars and e-cigs, but straight up cigarettes stink like it smells like the person chewed on a pack of beef jerky mixed with dog crap after they finish smoking. The former and weed I'm ok with because they don't smell as bad to me.

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What Girls Said 15

  • It really depends, some people are really annoying potheads and others just do it every now and then for fun. I'm the same with alcohol, and really anything that can be addictive-food, TV, internet, any dumb obsession, etc.. So, it's more a personality type... Is it someone who talks about it all the time, is really angry that our state hasn't legalized it yet, needs it to be "creative", is obnoxiously paranoid, can't stop long enough to pass a drug test etc... or is it someone who just smokes sometimes because it's fun and they want to relax or have a night of stupidity here and there?

    I physically don't like to be around smoke on a regular basis because it makes me feel like shit. However, I find dating a (cig) smoker TRYING to quit to be MUCH more aggravating than someone who just does and doesn't care.

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  • Yes, for me it's a deal breaker.

    I have a couple of friends who smoke weed, I don't mind being friends with them because,
    they don't push it on me,
    they're fairly chill people,
    and I'm almost never around them when they're smoking.

    Dating someone who does drugs or smokes is different though, I would not want to be around someone that often. I don't smoke or do drugs and I don't want a partner who's involved in that stuff, either. Just a personal preference.

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    • Would you be worried if they smoked weed in your car and you were driving?

    • i agree with your answer im the same way.

    • I would not allow someone to smoke anything in my car... the smell is just awful and I don't want any distractions while I'm driving, especially if my passengers are intoxicated. I would ask them to smoke either before we leave or after the ride.

  • I've always been attracted to guys who smoke... maybe because they're more laid back, into trying new things haha I don't know. So no, it's not a deal breaker. The thing that is though, is when they're getting high all the time, when they can't function without it, if they use it as a crutch or won't talk to/hang out with me sober. But if they smoke a few times a week that's fine, especially if they share!

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  • Yeah it's a deal breaker. It just shows poor decision making.

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  • I've always said I would never date someone who smokes cigarettes. They are disgusting but I've found my boyfriend smokes and he never does it around me which i appreciate and its just his habit, if the smoke bothers me, he stops smoking or moves. He is respectful of me in that way.
    Now smoking weed is different but it is not a deal breaker for me, I see it as a habit and I care more about peoples personalities and character than if they smoke weed. And I have found the people who smoke weed are the nicer more laid back people and I like that. So no its not a deal breaker and you should reconsider this girl...

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  • Yes it is. I wouldn't wanna date the person at all. Or be around them when their doing that. Any drugs is not ok.
    Well smoking i dont care for at all but if he does it and he doesn't smell like it all the time maybe it be fine it depends.

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  • I count weed as a drug, and yes, it would be a deal breaker to me. Smoking in general is a deal breaker.

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  • It's definitely a deal breaker. I would never consider dating a guy who smokes anything, uses illegal drugs, or drinks way too much.

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  • It's not a deal breaker just like drinking isn't a deal breaker. I'm an occasional marijuana user.
    When they're dependant on it or always high, that's when it's a deal breaker.

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    • I've dated "stoners" and it was miserable. Felt like I was a second priority to weed, and that's never a good feeling.

  • Yes, I have pesonally seen weed destroy my sisters life. She started using in high school then started smoking it everyday. She became addicted to it. If she didn't smoke for a day she would get headaches, back pain, paranoia, anger fits. She keep losing jobs for being high at work. She no longer works and is on welfare and is out of our lives. I know people say it cures everything from cancer to bad eye sight but it's bad.

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  • Smoking period is a deal breaker for me.

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  • Smoke it once and your life will be changed. That's all I'm saying. My boyfriend/now husbad smoked it when we were dating and I hated it so he stopped for me but he convinced me to try it and it has literally helped me in so many ways and helped us. I'm not a drug/drinking person either but weed isn't either of those things to me.

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  • Weed here and there? No deal breaker. Weed all the time? Yes deal breaker.

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  • Yes. Definitely. Smoking of any kind is a deal breaker.

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  • OMG no way on weed, a habit I find losers have in common.

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What Guys Said 9

  • I smoke - trying to quit, I drink very scarcely, I've never done weed or any other 'drug'

    A girl smoking weed is somewhat hot as far as I'm concerned.

    It's ok as long as she smokes or drinks or does weed just so far as she is in control of herself. Doing it at work is a bad idea which indicates no responsibility towards her work. If someone is addicted bad to something but is willing to control it and/or quit I'm game for it. But someone hopelessly hooked onto it that hampers their day to day functioning requires some serious working on.

    Deal breaker or not is an individual situation and I'll cross that bridge as it comes.

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  • If that's not your thing then I think it goes without being said that this is a deal breaker for you. The thing about a person that uses drugs of any kind is that a good deal of their time is going to go towards trying to score their next bag and their life pretty much revolves around this. I this know from experience. That and it attracts shady people, drama and trouble. Most companies for good jobs drug test so what does that say about her plans for anything better in her life. Stay true to your beliefs your on the right track.

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    • That was another thing that crossed my mind. My job drug tests and if it got into my system I would be worried. Granted I hear it's tough second hand, I still would not want to be worried every day about it.

      I also did have an ex-girlfriend in high school who was into weed and it caused her to hang out with her "ex" and she would claim it was just for the weed but spending nights at his place it was easy to figure out how she was paying him back.

  • Quite the contrary. I would hope that she DOES smoke. People who smoke are pretty much guaranteed to be 40% compatible with my personality thus making friendship or romance far more likely.

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    • Do you smoke as well?

    • Show All
    • I notice a lot of weed smokers will point out how alcohol is more harmful as well.

    • I hear that too but have not read the studies to confirm it. I will say that I do enjoy the lack of hangovers though!

  • If I really, really liked her, then I might give her a shot if she only rarely did it recreationally or had a medical reason. It is a turn off and I have broken up with girls for it before. This also goes for cigarettes.

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  • Smoking cigs is a total deal-breaker for me.

    Smoking weed, however, is not. Truly medicinal purposes wouldn't bother me in the slightest. Once in a while recreational smoking wouldn't bother me either as long as she was mature about it.

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  • I'd only accept weed if it's for serious medicinal purposes. Otherwise it's a dealbreaker even if she smokes tobacco.

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  • then don't. who is forcing you

    many people do not appear for who they are. and weed can lead to many problems because it creates an addiction, both psychological and money and safety problems.

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  • Given the legal status alone of weed in most states? Such as, police raids, laws that will ensure you go to jail too if you're in her car and she has weed, like that?

    Weed=stay away. Raylan Givens might not mind, but I'm no US Marshall.

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  • Only a dealbreaker if they don't share.

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