No speeches just a number of years apart will do fine
What's an age gap you find to be appropriate?
What Guys Said 6
You can't just put it in numbers. Life phases are more important than the actual number. Yet, still some statistics for the beginning: By mere average numbers a relationship with him more than 6 years older than her or her more than 3 years older than him has an average lifespan of less than 4 years.
At a younger age this gap has to be even small to make it work. Imagine a 14 year old and a 17 year old. That's only 3 years in numbers, but (all legal aspects aside) two completely different "worlds". One is at the beginning of puberty, depending on the parents, living at home, going to school, etc. The other one is already almost finished uberty, has probably some little income already (at least here most work at 17) with a certain independence, maybe has a flat on his own and is probably not going to school anymore. They just won't understand each other.
On the other hand a 60 and a 50 year old may have no problems as they are in a very similar phase of their lives: Working, probably not having the children at home anymore, aiming for retirement, having a certain life experience, money, etc.
The question is less about numbers than what phases the partners are in and have gone through already.2
Whatever is legal and consensual. And hopefully results in happy participants. :)3
There are many ways.
It isn't as easy as that because it changes when ages go up (it's not the same gap for a 13 yo as for a 43 yo) it changes with the period in life you're both in.
Thus I will not mention it in years but in percent:
*-Guy 10% older than the girl is simply ok, no problem.
*-Guy 15-20% older than the girl starts showing a difference with consequences and demands some common sense and good will to bridge the gap.
*-Guy 25% older than the girl is high.
*-Guy 33% older than the girl is a limit to avoid.
That way for you a guy in his mid thirties, (= 10 yr gap) would be a reasonable maximum, a bit less would be better.
Another way to calculate is to take the age of the oldest, divide it by 2 and add 7 to get the minimum for the youngest in a couple.
But all people are different.0
The only time it really matters is when your young. There is a HUGE difference between a 16 yr old an a 20 yr old. but not really any difference between a 25 yr old and a 29 yr old. As long as they are over 18 more power to them. However, I think if you get above 7 years you start loosing common ground pretty quick.0
take all the relevant factors to you and weight them.0
What Girls Said 4
I will only go 11/12 years older at this point in time. And only 1 year younger.2
as long as they're over 18 they're free to do what they please as far as i'm concerned.
BUT, that doesn't mean it's actually okay, or that it shouldn't be criticized. large age gaps=power imbalance=not really consensual (in the same way a boss shouldn't have sex with a worker, a teacher with a student)
i think 5 years would be fine by me if they're both over 18.0
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