So, it happens a lot. People are dating (and I'm talking 3 dates plus)... all seems like its going well.
Then all of a sudden, one of them stops replying to messages or taking calls from the other.
Do you think this is an acceptable way to stop dating someone?
I'm only talking about when there is no official relationship going on, but do you think you still have a responsibility to tell the other person its over - and better yet, why?
- You can just stop talking to them, you weren't official so there's no need to end anythingVote A
- You should tell them, but there's no need to justify any reasonsVote B
- You should tell the person and at least give them a brief reasonVote C
Most Helpful Guy
Whoa, it's superperve. Last time I saw your name was when you wrote this article-
Geeez, that seemed like awhile back.
I think the thing with choice 'A', which is what most people would -actually- do these days anyway it seems (even though C is seemingly the nicest thing to do), is that it is the least confrontational choice. It doesn't burn bridges, it doesn't make you liable to explain anything or maybe even liable for your own failings. It's a nice good all-around copout and as long as you never own up to it ("oh my phone was out of battery") then you'll never end up like the bad-guy (or girl, as the case may be). It is a powerful choice because it offers the least risk and liability with the most wiggle room and options, so obviously every selfish dreg out there is going to take it.
The B vote isn't much nicer, but it is at least polite enough to tell a person to stop wasting their time. One case I can see where the B choice is OK is if the person you were dating was very confrontational ("in a bad way") and they seemed intimidating enough not to talk to. I'd still lay the smack on them because that is how I am, but I can see where a lot of people might shy away from giving reasons to a combative person.
Then of course C is awesome because you really leave the other person with something they can use to grow (even if some of them won't take it) that their futures might be better, instead of leaving them absolutely nothing to take away from the experience. Of course it is the most confrontational, most likely to offend, and most likely to burn a bridge or two. It is going to piss some people off, but I think a few pissed off people is acceptable on whole for a society that benefits from a culture of growth.2