Men: if you were really attracted to a girl...?

and things didn't work out, nothing bad/horrible happened, but say when u made the effort, you were clearly dying to have sex with her. Would that desire still be there if/when you two were 'friends'? Or would it just be over cause maybe you were with someone new?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Ironically that's happened to me recently. We still talk, we're still friends, she knows that I found/still her attractive, I know she found/still finds me attractive (she told me), we still talk and maintain the friendship because we're hoping for the circumstances to change, while at the same time, we're not expecting anything. In fact, we give each other relationship advice and confide in each other, even though we tried dating and it didn't work out.

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    • Funny how sometimes our head can realize that maybe circumstances make something impossible yet our heart still holds on :)

What Guys Said 4

  • A guy will always have a desire to have sex with a woman he finds attractive. He may be able to surpress it and be friends with her but, if givens the right circumstances (no relationship and her willingness), he will def have sex with her.
    The fantasy of "just being good friends with a guy" is only found in womens minds

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    • Okay, cool, so if he still messages me now and then I guess I can take it that he's still attracted to me? I don't know what comes of it, yet it'd still make me so happy to know that.

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    • Well hello, that's what I used to think for the longest time when he was always barking up my tree! LOL And it was why I didn't take him seriously but finally when he said he'd come see me, I believe him, so then we got really close/flirty/romantic. I don't know if it's realistic, but I only know I've been working on moving on, sometimes it works, mostly not, lol, and I feel really bad off and on over it.

    • And I think part of the reason I don't go 100% away is, well, what I wanted him to let me be and I didn't have feeling for him, he didn't go away. So now why should I?

  • Yes, it would always be there. If it ever died, you would lose much of your appeal, and maybe even your friendship with the man. I am sorry to say it, but that is how many of us work.

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  • I dont believe in a close friendship between men a women. If he is close "as a friend" he probably is just waiting for a chance in the feature... he will never stop wanting to have sex with you... Is the attraction that he has the motivation for that friendship. :(

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  • I would have the attraction, but overtime (in a few months) I'd be just a close partner doing whatever. If she ask if she wants to be friends with benefits then I would if I'm not with anyone.

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