Especially the one where we both had feelings for one another but due to circumstances and personality flaws, nothing worked out.
For 2 years I worked with this guy. I liked him from the beginning but I stayed away from him cause he had a gf and a kid with her. For those 2 years, I even managed to convince myself that I didn't feel anything for him. Then at the end he became flirtatious and he began courting me and like a field duck getting shot I fell on the pond. By then I was jittery stuttery and blushing every time he was around me and that motivated him to ask me out for a cup of coffee as a friend. Idiot me freaked out and was so insanely scared, cause I had no idea what his intentions were that I declined his offer. I didn't do it in a nice way and he was so angry he sent his gf to my office to pick up his last pay check.
Fast forward, two years later, I talk to his sister who is my best friend and who is a psychoanalyst at the same time and she weeds the information out of me and idiot me, tells her what happens. I thought she was going to be angry at me or something or do some psychoanalyst mumbo jumbo of me looking for unavailable men and shit but instead she tells me that I blew my chances with her brother that at the time he was thinking of ending his relationship with his gf and that due to my rejection his relationship consolidated afterwards. I said to her that it was clear that he loved his gf and that she would do anything for him including jumping a building and then she told me that his gf got pregnant when he wasn't ready and had not agreed to having a kid and that she is a better judge to know her sister in law than me.
So now I feel like crap, like I was too much of a coward but at the same time I thought that maybe after 2 years I might feel better and not care, but I do care. I know its in the past and I should rub it off my shoulders but I still feel sad about that. Any advice?
Most Helpful Girl
You're being too hard on yourself. You can't change the past, so there's no use dwelling on it. Besides, you did the right thing by not going for a taken guy. Just because your sister says he was "thinking of ending his relationship with his gf" but didn't because of you isn't a reflection on you…it's a reflection on him not having the balls to end his relationship before pursuing someone else..a truly dickbag move.
I'm also a believer that things happen for a reason. So, for whatever reason (namely because this guy sounds like a douchebag), things didn't work out. And you have to believe it's for the better.
P.S. my sister is a psychologist and she does the same psychoanalytical stuff to me, too lol. Sometimes it sucks but other times it's great to have someone so objective around!1