Is dating a coworker ever a good idea?

I had a coworker ask me out and it took me by surprise because I had assumed he was married. He was always friendly at work, but he's like that with everybody.

We had met for coffee because I was going through some work related issues and we talked about it. We joked around and I did notice that he touched my arm a lot while we talked, but I just shrugged it off.

He texted me on the way home that night and mentioned a fire pit and if he got it working would I be interested in coming over. I said yes thinking his family and others friends from work. He then mentions his divorce and how he had to move so it would be awhile until he had stuff set up.

He is really funny and a little bit older then me, but I'm just not sure it would be a good idea to date a coworker. I'm worried things will get weird at work.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Try to imagine the worst break-up you've ever had. Now imagine you have to work with that person every day. THAT is why dating a coworker is a bad idea.

    Now, if you rarely see them at work, it's not a huge deal. If you work with them on a regular basis, the risk is MUCH higher, and of course, if they are in your chain of command (your boss or your direct report), then it's a disaster in the making.

    Remember: if things get bad, you might have to quit your job to get away from it, so be prepared to do that.

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What Guys Said 5

  • It's a tightrope to walk all right
    but so many more complain about not meeting the right guy
    NOT getting the right job, sooooooo
    maybe you shop around for another job, stop shopping guys, then IF
    it gets dicey at work, take the new job offer (s)
    but keep the guy.

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  • Are there exceptions to rules? Of course. However, that being said I believe as a rule of thumb you shouldn't date coworkers. Most relationships don't work out. Sometimes people separate amicably but with a lot of heartache, other times they separate hating each other and with a lot of heartache. Rarely do people separate amicably with little to no heartache. The odds are your relationship won't be an exception. You run the risk of seeing this person every day, or almost every day, and prolonging the recovery process of a breakup. People tend to use terms like, "It got weird," which I find intellectually dishonest. Let's face it; "It got weird" is more often than not a euphemism for, "It got hurtful."

    Could it work out? I suppose, but the odds are against it. I think you're both better off finding people you are into who you don't work with. Take care now.

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  • mixing a relationship with work is bad juju, not only will it feed the gossip pool and if things go south with you two work is going to be awkward. Plus if you do date how is it going to affect your work. I would not do it.

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  • Tons of people meet at work, if you like him and you want to take the risk, go for it!

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  • HR and society in general ALWAYS takes the side of the women in sexual harassment type issues, so feel free to take a risk. Corporate America has your back in case things go south.

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What Girls Said 2

  • No, it's not a good idea. It's a horrible one. I once fell for a co-worker and when I realized he had strung me along, I was so embarrassed and had such a hard time getting over him, that I asked to be transferred to another area within our department. Fortunately for me, it was such a large hospital that I could go and did go months without seeing him. But if that kind of transfer isn't possible at your place, I can tell you it can get to be quite hellish.

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  • And them on another note people get together at work and some are actually happy, people don't have to have a shitty relationship at work it could be anywhere they could find an ass hole. Be up front about work boundaries.

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