Do people get more desperate for a relationship when they're in their mid-20s?

Dating is not really working out for me right now. All the girls I went out said that I was a great friend but not much else. I'm still in contact with all of them.

I know I would get pretty desperate after a while, as I get older and older, so maybe I'll have a better chance in the future. At least, that's what I'm consoling myself with.

Would you agree?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • What's happening to many of my 20 something yr old friends is,... the ones that never had relationships and almost gave up on love are now entering solid and valuable relationships. The ones that had relationships since forever are the ones enjoying being single and not caring about relationships. It's odd. I'm talking people 24-30 yo.

    I'm thinking it as to do with the "newbies" being very thrilled about love and the experiences ones being very disappointed in relationships and their structures.

    Help with mine? www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q995490-i-took-my-boyfriend-s-phone-without-his-permission-is-this-a-deal

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    • Possibly! That's a rather interesting perspective. I hope I'll never get scarred like that. And yeah i answered your question way back then lol.

    • Haha thanks. I don't know if you're still thinking about this question you posted. I wouldn't mind about it if I were you. Maybe it does get a little frustrating, but once girls realize that a good friend makes a great partner, they'll be all over you. Let them fuck up their lives and learn the value of a good boyfriend. :)

What Girls Said 13

  • You should never settle for less than you deserve. If girls are seeing themselves as just friends to you, maybe be a little more aggressive with how you feel. Women love confidence, not cockiness. The right one will come around in time.

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    • I'm not sure that aggression is something I should just put it on haha. I can do it for a school play. I can do it for a job interview. But I can't do it for days, weeks, years on end. I feel like I should be myself.

  • Age is only a number. I think society plays a big role in this. If our friends are all married with or without kids by a certain age then we feel the need to follow there lead. I think we all need to realize that things happen for us when they are suppose to happen. There is nothing worse then being with the wrong person. I personally would rather be alone then be with someone who doesn't respect me or someone who has different goals then myself. I think most of us in our twenties can't even take care of our selves finically. When i was in my mid twenties i was just graduating from graduate school. If you are rushed to get married and or have a family you should be asking your self why the rush? Take a look at the divorce rate and take a look at those around you are older are they still with the same person that they were with when they were in their twenties? Stop allowing society to control the way you think. Be your own person and live life to the fullest. They are many things that are awesome about being single. If you are so desperate to have a family or husband i would think about getting a dog. I don't say that to be mean, but its much better to take a look at your life and let things happen when they are suppose to and not when society says they are suppose to happen. not everything in life happens when you want it to happen.

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    • So true. I have friends who are engaged even before they graduated, and I'm like... do you even HAVE a job yet?

  • Between the ages of 21 - 27 I had no interest in guys whatsoever. Now I'm 28 and all I ever think about is when I'm going to get married and how I can find the right guy. I experiment with different diets and exercises and I invest my money in fashionable clothes. I never used to do this. I also try hard to have a good career so that I can find a good guy. I'm not desperate though. I turned down a guys better looking than me and more educated than me simply because they weren't what I was looking for.

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    • So you switched from passive to active mode, but your standards for men haven't changed. Hmm makes sense. Does that mean that guys you rejected in the past, are still ineligible in your eyes?

    • Still ineligible yes. I am thinking of reconnecting with 2 guys I used to like - one I rejected because I wasn't ready to date - the other one rejected me and then realized he made a mistake.

    • haha well, good luck with the 2 then. Hope you get a good catch. ;)

  • I'd imagine so -- I mean, I know I'd definitely feel desperate at that point.

    It's like, I've always assumed I'd marry my soulmate and have kids with him by age like twenty-seven, but who even knows what the future holds.

    But yeah, I'm sure you'll be a lot more successful with dating by the time you're in your mid-twenties, since girls' clocks will be ticking and whatnot. People are more mature/serious at that age, too.

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    • I agree. It's like... crap a good part of my youth is over now. It's now or never.

  • I feel a little pressured to find someone now because all of my friends are married, engaged or in serious relationships. It'll happen for you one day, don't rush anything. The greatest things in life take time.

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    • same, my friends are either hitched or being awesome in life (skydiving, partying etc.). I know I'm not ready but it's not an easy feeling to shake off, that feeling of wanting someone close to talk to.

    • I think that need is part of human nature.

  • I met a guy in his 40's. He was still raw from his divorce. Apparently she cheated.

    He wasn't out of divorce for about 2 months and already was talking about marrying again and having kids... I asked "whats the hurry?" He said "don't know, just gotta get married"

    *sigh* honestly, I'd prefer to be alone; like on an island.. surrounded by water.

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    • That was just... wow. I wonder what drives him to be so desperate.

      Being alone is no place to be! A friend's better than nothing. :)

  • Maybe, but most still don't 'settle'. I don't know what to tell you, still trying to figure it out myself.

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    • Maybe something like, going less for looks, sweep you off your feet personalities. But willing to consider the guy-next-door, guys who treat you well and have a strong sense of responsibility?

      Settling for the "nice guys" (i hope). :D

    • Well, this is what I was always looking for so...nothing changed in that respect, and, unfortunately, my friends are like this too, so...I can't say I know any women who've been so shallow that they've changed in their 20's.

  • no, i wanted a relationship since i was 10.

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    • But it probably wasn't quite the same as you thought at age 10? I didn't really figure out what I wanted from a relationship until I was in my 20s, so anything earlier didn't count haha.

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    • i wanted a cute boyfriend who i love and who loves me and likes to spend time with me.

    • Lol that is quite a simple but sweet wish. :) Awesome!

  • No, I don't think so..

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  • I don't think so.

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  • I think it really depends on the individual here...so I can't really answer for anyone but myself...for me I wasn't more desperate but I'd never been in a relationship till my late 20s...I was just ready for it

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    • Good for you! Being desperate blinds you a lot! On the plus side, you take risks dating when you never would have. On the other hand, others can sense desperation and that makes you less of a candidate. Urgh.

  • I gave up on dating in my mid twenties. I am 27, and I've never had a relationship because I am ugly. Once I hit 25, I decided there was no point in trying. Not too many men are going to want a woman with no relationship experience. I am still a virgin too. It's basically too late now. So maybe other people get desperate but I am the opposite. I'm done. People are the best looking when they're young, and I've always been ugly. The older I get, the uglier I am going to get. So I should have tried to get someone when I was young when I still had some 'looks' I didn't have much but I probably looked better at 21 than I did at 27.

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    • We should make a club The we're too ugly to get dates club. LOL.

    • Lol yeah really. Although most people don't believe it. They always try to use some kind of bullshit saying: "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" and "There is someone out there for everyone." There are a lot of people who have a hard time believing someone can be too ugly to get dates, but it's because they haven't experienced the rejection solely based on looks every single time. Any rejection they've had was probably from a number of reasons. If it was down to looks, it likely happened once or twice... not Each and every single time.

  • Yeaah i guess !! I am desprate now though i am still under 20 !

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    • maybe it's not desperation but awareness? :p

    • Maybe you are right :P

What Guys Said 8

  • I would like to have children before 35, the quality of my jizz takes a serious dive after that and I dont think its fair to have children when you know they have a far higher chance of defects/problems if you leave it too late. Preferably no later than 30 though, that would be ideal.

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    • I don't really subscribe to the "older" = "defects" theory. But I'm trying to aim for before 35 too, too late and I won't be able to see them grow up.

    • you can't really deny it, the proof is in the samples of the thousands of men from various ages that has resulted in the evidence.

  • Oh god, if I ever get desperate then I hope someone will put me out to pasture. That would be an awful thing to be motivated by.

    Anyway, yeah I do think that people get desperate at certain points in life. But certainly not all of them!

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    • Lol it's not all that bad! Desperation is a call for action! Good for those lazy bums who are like, oh I'm sure she'd just stroll along someday around the corner.

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    • Interesting statistics...

  • i think girls do. men kind of lose interest in relationships as they get older women gain interest in it. studies show this.

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    • I never knew that. I took a human sexuality class a year ago and we learned that men are happier when married than women. So reading what you said is sort of ironic.

    • maybe because women like happy men. you know have money, in shape and getting laid. its a chicken or the egg thing. girls like guys with confidence. confident men tend to be happy. same thing with the whole men who are married live longer. thats because men who are married can afford a wife and health insurance. not because she makes him healthy

  • I'm 26 and I have zero desperation lol

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  • I guess people would be more desperate as they get older, I'm sure nobody wants to go through their ages without experiencing love

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  • Well, they go for marriage.

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  • Yup at least for me.

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    • I feel you, and I'm not even your age yet. :(

    • And I don't even know why I'm so eager either. I'm quite intimidated by what happens after marriage lol.

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