How can I become less anxious and indecisive?

I am a INFP personailty type meaning I'm introverted and rely on intuition and emotions but I find it hard to express my emotions verbally.

I am seeing a guy who doesn't get this as he is extroverted, and if he gets asked a question he always have an answer for it, whereas with me I can't always decipher what my feelings are about it or I need time to find my answer...

As I said before he doesn't understand that I find it hard and get anxious when getting asked certain questions, even though I've tried to hard to get him to understand..

How do you suggest that I get this across to him, he is very stubborn and just because he doesn't get why I get anxious, he thinks it's me overthinking things etc...
And I've tried to become more open but it's harder for me and he doesn't get that either...
Help?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think its a characteristic of INFP to express creativity non-verbally, and being that infp isn't exactly known for linguistic expression, it just sounds like a natural less developed area. Not sure about you but, sometimes when I really care about something or am just not feeling nervous at all I can become very charismatic though, but it took practice.
    I'm an infp too, and I know what you mean. But its normal; infp, from what I've gathered makes decisions and judgements depending upon a subjective value based criteria which usually requires reflection. Haha, sometimes people will think I was lying if I answer something to quickly and then change my mind later.

    What kind of questions is he asking you to make you nervous though?
    You can't necessarily make someone understand is they're too stubborn too, though?
    It sounds like you Have been trying to communicate your concerns to him though, does it create conflict/raise other problems?

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    • You explained that perfectly, thank you. :) I'm glad someone really understands.

      The questions are just about myself and my thoughts/ feelings, I don't really like answering those types of questions and If I do answer them, I need a bit of time to figure out an answer, but he doesn't understand that...
      And i have been trying to communicate but nothing I say or explain makes him understand.. Yeah it does, create conflict, he gets angry because he doesn't why I can't just instantly answer a question like he can (he finds it really easy)

      Can you suggest a way for me to tell him how I feel about it and why I can express myself the same as him?

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    • Yeah but, I don't think he gets it still.. :/
      He says he understands that I am an introverted person and that I quite etc... But that shouldn't stop me from answering a question.

    • Is it a certain type of question he's been asking?

What Guys Said 7

  • There's a joke ad for a medicine called Fuckitol that's supposed to make everything ok because it just doesn't matter. The joke is funny, but the reality is your solution is simple. Simple but hard. You want to practice consciously letting go of things you can't control, and deliberately not giving an eff about em. You'll do your thing. Other folks will do their thing, and the world will unfold how it unfolds.

    If you can't change it don't sweat it. Like I said, it's simple but hard. Either that or go to Colorado and get a prescription for a herbal anti-anxiety medicine. They'll know what it is. It'll have you chilled out in no time, and while you might still be indecisive you'll think that's funny as hell. :-)

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  • If you want to become less anxious and indecisive then,

    1. Flip a coin (or)

    2. Empty your mind. Become water. Let yourself flow. Make mistakes. Learn from it. And let yourself flow again. Hit the wall. But don't stop. Be unstoppable. Break it. And flow again.

    As you keep breaking these "walls" your anxiousness will go away.

    P.S: I'm an INFP too :)

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  • I am extoro-intro hybrid.I want result, Im hyper at my activities+ ilove competition but due to many experiences i hate talking and very tactful as possible to my approach and learned how to react late.Well Enough with the explanation.
    Extrovert like these guy loves direct approach and hated emo type of people.Be comprehensive in your perspective and be vocal to your ideas.Dont worry If you said something wrong because we already know your answer before we asked a question.

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    • Thank you, do you think it can work with and extrovert dating an introvert?

    • of course, I'm positive to that, i think introvert is cute, they are weak and we need to protect them and that's a huge turn on.Just stick being true to your self and no labradodlles, be direct.

  • Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is rarely used in practice nowadays and archetype doesn't set everything in stone (I'm an INTP, but it doesn't mean I fit the mold 100%). It sounds like you're your anxiety is interfering with your ideal day-to-day emotional state. Start by asking what situations make you most anxious and why that's the case. If you find out why and address that issue, it should make things easier for you.

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  • Yeah, when you find an answer, let me know, because this is exactly what ended my last relationship.

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    • Being anxious or not understanding what it's like?

    • Well, I wouldn't exactly say I was anxious, but I'm completely inept when it comes to expressing my emotions.

  • Extroverted people can't really understand introverted people (been proven by psychologists and all). The best thing to do is to just communicate and try explain things to him and hope he understands you. Good luck.

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  • dont overthink, go with your gut

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What Girls Said 1

  • Well it's honestly a part of who you are. There's no way to change the way your personality is wired together. There's also nothing wrong with having that personality type. I'm also very introverted and sensitive towards many things so I can feel your struggle. My best bet is firstly to embrace who you are and to be proud of being so good with emotions and intuition. It shouldn't be a bad thing or something you feel is a curse or a negative. It can actually be very helpful to be more careful. You need to tell this guy that this is who you are and explain to him about different personality types. It could be that he is unaware or not informed about the different personality types out there. If he can't respect that then he's not meant for you.

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